I seriously need to get stuff out of my system soon. This month is dragging me down knowing what is waiting ahead of me. All sorts of unfinished business. My contract with the government ends so I need to look for new projects. I have so much admin stuff that has built up over the last couple of weeks which needs sorting. Plus there’s some things I need to think about…

I mean really think about. I’m currently not in a happy place and trying hard to make the best of it but I’m so in need of some time off so I can work on my jewellery project. I ordered some things which came in last week but I have not had a chance to use it. Working on the jewellery is like meditation to me. And I’ve got soulsearching to do and think about forgiving someone.

I’m not sure if I can deal with this tho. I’m feeling kind of empty at the moment. Being creative and in meditational mode might help finding myself again. Although I’ve noticed that when I’m sad I can’t create stuff. I need to be happy in order to make beautiful things or come up with great ideas. I need to be inspired. Right now I’m lacking the energy because of this confrontation.

I wrote a letter to get things off my chest. I’ve asked to let me be for a while until damage is healed again and if it doesn’t heal than I’m going to draw a line. I’m getting things to change around here. I’m going to change myself and my perception. It’s once again time to do so but somehow I get bogged down by circumstances. I can’t change those but I can change myself!

Focus is all that is needed. I’m gonna do this.