I received an email the other day from the brother of the fox mentioned in my previous post. I’ve always had a good relationship with the brother and his wife. Not that we’re close friends but we sometimes run into each other since we live in the same area. If we do we always end up having a nice chat.
The email brought me odd news and reading it, left me shocked in a way that I wasn’t expecting, at all. It mentioned the fact that the fox had ended up in hospital with a cardiac arrest and had passed away. I guess it came as a shock to me since it’s the first time I hear from the death of an ex.
My initial reaction was one of anger which I recognised as such and I felt ashamed about my thoughts the moment I realised this. All I could think was ‘serves you right’ which of course was a bad thing to think but also very real to me as he had cheated on me several times. Right after, came the realisation that he was just gone forever.
The brother had invited me to be at his memorial service and funeral but after giving it some thought I declined since it wasn’t my place to be after kicking his cheating ass out of my house. I also realised that the brother perhaps wanted me present as I’d been there when his mother died, like a past reflection on current affairs.
It also meant I would’ve had to face his friends from the Rockabilly scene from abroad and the Netherlands as well. A scene that I’d bid farewell the moment I’d kicked him out as I didn’t want to be involved anymore tho at heart I’m still the same Rockabilly gal I used to be… I was just fed up with him and the scene at the time and didn’t feel like seeing these people again at his funeral.
I felt sorry for the brother, he deserved better but I couldn’t go there and face a part of the past that was just that: the past… At times the best thing to do is let it be and have it rest in peace…