Visceral Charge

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt extremely uncomfortable without being able to identify the exact issue that is causing it? I have… On several occasions actually and each time triggered by a person, spirit or thing. The other day when I was on the train on my way to work a man sat down on the seat beside me on my right. He was tall and big, not extremely big but big enough to be present in my private space as I could sense him invade it with an energy as dark and thick as night, reflecting his inner turmoil. He was restless: either leaning against the back of the seat and touching my arm with his arm or leaning over looking at me from the side or staring out of the window. I felt utterly intimidated…

His clothes were rank with this pungent smell of greasy body odor. Whenever he moved around on the seat I could catch a whiff of it, making me want to hold my breath to avoid sudden and violent projectile vomiting. I was very aware of each movement he made because of this and because of the bad energy he was exposing. Normally I don’t instantly feel intimidated by someone or something, but this time the feeling was overwhelming. As if he had taken over my private space, like a thick black unavoidable steady stream of mud continuously flowing until everything was completely covered with it. Every three minutes he would move to one side and take his phone from his right pocket to check it.

In doing so he had to lean over towards me to get it out of his pocket thus violating my space. He would check his phone for a few seconds then put it away again. This went on for about twenty minutes just before arriving at the next train station. In the meantime I was trying to avoid him by playing a few games of solitaire on my phone but his presence was unavoidable. Each time he moved I was made very aware of that, so I stopped playing and looked out the window instead, trying to ignore the restless bulk that was sitting next to me. Like an emotional predator, he was waiting for the kill but I wouldn’t give in that easy. If he was in for a mental tug of war he could definitely get one by making him feel agitated.

The more I ignored him -imagining myself sitting inside an enclosed space filled with bright light, a space that grew larger and larger- the more restless he became. He tried to make eye contact by leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, turning his head towards me and staring at me for half a minute, then he would move back again trying to lean against the back of the seat and moving his arm away in order to avoid touching my elbow. I just sat there quietly ignoring and ‘allowing’ him to play his cat and mouse game. I sat in my own white glowing energy, growing stronger by the minute. The more I imagined myself in my energy the more agitated he became which only proved what I’d sensed about him all along.

Finally the train arrived at my destiny, whilst he was sitting next to me I didn’t have a good look at him because his psycho vibes warned me not to do so, but the moment he got up I did. A rising bulk still but far less intimidating as twenty minutes earlier when staring at me. He didn’t look back but I’m guessing he could feel my piercing third eye telling him to F.O. He was wearing a military parka and a backpack, his hair was greasy, uncombed and showed scabs. His face didn’t show any expression, he was the kind that would easily blend into the crowd without anyone noticing anything odd about him. The quiet silent type and at the same time asserting a warped sense of mental authority.

I continued my commute and watched him disappear in the overcrowded train station, but it took a while to shake the feeling of what had been going on not so long ago. I still can’t explain what it was what made me feel uneasy, but it was something dark, this I know for sure… 13 Feb 2017 @ 08:03

Karma Only Has Nine Lives

Something I wrote a while ago on another part of the interwebs, I will delete it there but wanted to keep it here as a reminder. It was written on: 24 February 2011 at 17:23

Life might throw another curveball at you when you least expect it. I’ve become a good catcher over time and my hand signalling has immensely improved since I took control that way. Running away will only get you so far -read: nowhere-, it’s just a matter of time before things will catch up on you. Best to face the unexpected instead, see what lesson you can learn from it and take responsibility for your actions in life.

Things happen for a reason and many times I’ve chosen not to listen to that inner voice that was screaming at me. The harder it screamed the harder I tried to ignore it. Until one day it became silent and I experienced one of those epiphany moments, realising something was wrong. From then on I decided to change my ways and no longer ignore each and every omen that would come to me, good or ‘bad’…

I’ve had many since: all small gifts from the universe. Like a constellation of bright stars that I stare at at night, my personal map pointing out to me where I should go next. It’s in the moment, here and now. It’s the message hidden in those who cross my path and enter my life and those who will leave again. When you let go of negative people and dissemblers, situations, things, then others will appear: the positive kind.

The kind that you wish to embrace, the kind that gives you all the energy you’ll need to grow and shine. The genuine kind. FB is one of these things that is taking energy and hardly returning any. It is the sad result of a society that needs the ego stroking heroin because they’ve forgotten how to listen to their inner voice. Some of my friends have come to the same conclusion and decided to stay away from FB.

I’ve made that decision too -a while ago actually- and will only post every now and then or check on people to see how they’re doing. I need my energy to make my dream come true, I owe that to myself. Things happen for a reason (e.g. bursitis I dealt with). It only means that I should channel my energy more effectively and that something bigger, better and more fulfilling is waiting for me. The universal law of cause and effect.

Open star cluster Pismis 24

The small open star cluster Pismis 24 lies in the core of the NGC 6357 nebula in Scorpius, about 8,000 light-years away from Earth. ©Nasa, Instituto de Astrofísica de Andalucía, Spain