The Youngsters

I’m traveling by train each day and I’ve seen and heard lots of weird things on my way to work back and forth. Lately I’ve noticed that young people these days tend to speak annoyingly loud. The concept of privacy and/or private space of others is either something they’re not aware of or don’t seem to grasp at all. They also lack a serious amount of courtesy and show no respect for others. Pointless chatter by one or two of them seems to be the standard morning ritual. Utterly annoying and most of the time extremely loud. They don’t seem to have a clue about the fact that everyone is overhearing their conversation or when they’ll start bragging about things which makes it even more annoying and ignorant.

The other day I was on the train back to Amsterdam when I girl next to me was talking so loud to the person on the other end of the phone connection that all six people around her where sitting with an expression on their faces of total disbelief. The girl was exposing her so-called problems to the world around her in such a way she probably wasn’t even aware of. The woman opposite of me started grinning at some point and had to put her hand before her mouth to cover her laugh. I saw her face and was grinning as well. We were all spectators of the utter drama of a 20-something-year-old.

The woman opposite of me even asked her to lower her voice which she did after staring at her for a while, unfortunately it didn’t last long as within three minutes the decibels were back on the same level as they were before the remark. It wasn’t just the loudness that was causing us six to chuckle it was also the total absurdness of the conversation; the topics that were discussed and how it was discussed. She made it sound like each and every pathetic issue was the end of the world. She sounded and looked like a spoiled rich child, making us witnesses to her little drama of a soap opera.

The moment she got up and left the train, everyone around me started to laugh and remark on the ignorant attitude of this creature who unfortunately is not one of a kind… Another time -during rush hour- there were these two guys, one sitting opposite of me with his friend standing next to him and another guy also sitting opposite of me talking on the phone. The guy on the phone was speaking so loud that the other two were constantly battling and raising their voices in order to be heard by everyone nearby. One of them talked with excessive pride and self-satisfaction about his achievements.

He just got a new advertising job and his manager and colleagues had invited him to join them on a retreat to Thailand for five days. He was constantly bragging about everything he had accomplished and the guy he was talking to barely responded. I could tell he felt really uncomfortable about his boasting ‘friend’ and the volume that was used to bring the news to the whole train. In the meantime the guy on the phone couldn’t stop blabbing either. It was like a hen fight somehow and all these meaningless and pointless conversations -again- made me chuckle. What is wrong with these people?

I honestly feel blessed when I get on a train in the morning and people just don’t talk, when the quiet is so loud it becomes overwhelming. I can really really enjoy those journeys to work, where I stare into the distance and watch the meadows passing by, the beauty of nature, the sun rising and the tranquillity of the morning. I cannot imagine I would’ve been so loud at that age, I would’ve been talking that same kind of nonsense or discuss drama with someone so everyone could hear. It is not my nature nor am I the boasting type. I guess it’s a generation issue and a matter of courtesy and respect.

I’m getting ‘old’.

It Doesn’t Sit Well…

I had some struggles with a friend the other day and it doesn’t sit well with me… Why? Coz it’s been the second time where I felt like: what on earth is going on? What are the real reasons for biting my head off over absolutely nothing. I don’t like to be criticized while I’m doing the best I can. I don’t like being given ‘advice’ when assumptions are made without asking questions first to get the facts straight.

I don’t like someone telling me what to do without checking with me first whether I’ve tried all options or not: it clearly shows a lack of trust in me to do what is right for me which is not necessarily right for you… I definitely don’t like someone implying that I should try harder either. Don’t tell me what to do or how to feel, just don’t. I’ve become allergic to people like that ever since my previous relationship.

But all of that isn’t what is not sitting well with me, it’s the fact that I’m used as an emotional punchbag… twice now (first time Aug 2008)… I can understand emotional pressure, and I can even understand some reasons for lashing out at someone. But all I did was being nice and I didn’t deserve to be treated like that even though there might have been valid reasons. I refuse to be anyone’s emotional punchbag.

I feel it’s not right to compare problems and imply that I have no reasons to complain and be negative -which I wasn’t, I was merely stating facts after doing extensive research for months- it’s called being realistic. Everyone has his/her own cross to bear and one isn’t ‘worse’ than the other, they’re just different. It’s no point projecting your problem on others and you definitely can’t tell others how to feel.

Yes I care and empathise but I don’t like being the punchbag, it just happened one time too many… So I’ll stay in my own quiet corner of the Universe for now. All I said that day was, that after trying the best I could for months, I now wanted to live in the present not the past. I took responsibility and focused on an important job application. And because I did over the last two months, it got me where I am today.

My strength was, that I continued to fight for my goals, being realistic at the same time. Knowing what I could achieve and what I couldn’t whilst dealing with bureaucracy, rules and regulations. I don’t see anything negative in that, it got me where I wanted to be and I will continue to do so. Perhaps one day the blinkers will disappear but till then I’ll keep a certain distance because I feel it’s the best thing to do for now.

I wish you strength my friend…

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” ~Arnold Schwarzenegger