Category Archives: MOT

The Flow

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I’ve been in thinking mode again lately. It’s because I realised there’s so much change going on at the moment. I’ve written before that I’m keeping a planner, it’s a cool planner as it allows you to set goals for a year and keep track of your progress over time. I’ve set goals for three months, one year, the next three years, and a lifetime. It’s how the planner works. Each month you’ll have to evaluate and write a report about the past 30/31 days, check if you reached your goals, highlight your accomplishments, write down how you can approve things etc.etc. I’m doing this because I need to keep track on how I’ve spent my spare time to see if it is balanced and if I get to spend enough time on things that relax me.

Ten days ago I wrote my evaluation about April and whilst checking back on dates I found out that I actually had accomplish quite a lot more than I was expecting. It surprised me to see that some of the deadlines I’d set for goals somewhere in the near future (three months from now or even further away) I’d already either started or finished. It has to do with certain situations that I’m fed up with in a way. I’ve been fed up with myself for a while already ;) Let me explain that. Because of 12 hour days (or often more), I started to neglect myself. I’d come home and would choose the easy and quick option because I wasn’t organised, meaning for instance, that I would get a take-away during the week and cook over the weekends.

At times I’m home at 20.30 or later thus I don’t feel like cooking anymore because I’m tired and would like to relax for an hour. My days start at 05.30. So I had a hard time trying to keep things balanced as they were supposed to be. I never expected this to get out of hand due to unhealthy eating and not enough exercise, as I was always pretty keen on keeping an eye on this. Slowly but surely things went sideways and I sensed it straight away but I didn’t act on it immediately. Then there was the vertebral fracture and the arthrosis which kept me from doing anything health-wise because I am too scared to aggravate the situation. I felt stuck and I wasn’t happy with myself at all until the day I decided enough is enough.

I took baby steps but I took them… and I’m surprised to see how good it feels. I went to the gym around the corner and asked if they had a physiotherapist specialised in vertebral fractures and they did! I’ve made a 180 once again ;) I’m eating extremely healthy, plan things in advance, prepare lunch for work instead of buying premade food, bake my own bread (special bread as I cut out carbs completely) and exercise like crazy. I love the exercises and workout because I can feel it makes my back stronger and I have less pain each day. I’m still not allowed to do some of the exercise that I really love, like rowing or running as it puts too much strain on my back, but there will be a day in the near future where I can!

I’ve also bought a fitness tracker to see how I’m doing on a daily basis, to my surprise I get enough exercise during the day, I’m way above the goals it sets for me, e.g. at times I walk 12km per day because I love to walk. So far I really enjoy doing all this, which -to be honest- I didn’t expect. The only downside is that I’m supposed to workout twice a week and for the last six weeks the commute has been a total pain with a minimum of half hour delays each day. Hopefully I’ll be able to work from home on Wednesday so I can go to the gym in the evening. My next step is buying an apartment, yes I know it’s something completely different, but it’s all part of a bigger plan. I’m working on this, let’s say I’m prepping for my future.

Arthrosis

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Last week was kind of hectic, health-wise. I went to see a different masseuse because the Ayurvedic therapist is abroad to study for half a year and gain more professional knowledge. The new masseuse is very good and I had a nice though painful massage. She treated muscles that I thought were ok but the moment she touched them I could feel the tension. There were tiny little knots all over my back, mostly the shoulders and lower back and along the spine which she treated with care. Yes it was painful but I could also feel the tension slowly release with each stroke and applied pressure.

The following days I could hardly move again because my whole back felt extremely sensitive. I also had a cold so I decided to stay in bed most of the weekend to stay warm, sleep and relax as much as possible as I’d had a few bad nights where I fell asleep around four in the morning. Of course I had to work again on Monday and carrying a bag full with computer equipment, weighing about 5 kilo isn’t helping much either. When Wednesday came around I was in pain again, not as bad as the previous weeks but still. That day I had to visit my GP to discuss the results of the x-rays.

I’d had the x-rays done on Thursday but my GP doesn’t work on Fridays so I had to visit her the next week. Whilst there she told me that I have arthrosis which affects my spine between the shoulderblades and the lower back. It wasn’t clear that this was actually caused by the accident I had in 2005 whilst snowboarding as it had been some time ago when it happened and the x-rays didn’t clearly show. Though my GP suspected I’ve had a vertebral fracture at the time based on what I’d told her. Right after it happened I couldn’t breath for a while, couldn’t stand straight and was in excrusiating pain.

So what it comes down to is that I’ll have to live with this pain for the rest of my life… It made me wonder about a lot of things and got me into deep thinking again. My GP wanted to give me painkillers as I’m allowed to take 4 times a day two paracetamol tablets, but I’m only willing to take those when the pain is really bad. Over the last four weeks I’ve taken two tablets twice because I prefer not to take them daily if I can get thru the day without. Yes I will experience pain but I don’t want to run the risk of getting dependent on painkillers for the next 30 years eventhough the pain will come and go.

As I mentioned deep thinking earlier, I’m very aware that I might have to make some drastic changes and decide what I’ll do job-wise. Carrying that heavy bag each day isn’t gonna help. Having a two hour commute door-to-door either. And that’s just two work related facts. Others are related to household issues and having to climb lots of stairs because I live in an old fire tower with six floors and a bedroom at the top floor whilst a kitchen is at the second floor. Just not very practical situations that I’ll have to think about along with more life-changing issues that I have to take into consideration as well.

Today I went to see the masseuse again and she used the ‘cupping’ method this time where she puts cups on your back to create a vacuum. The blood is drawn to the surface of the skin in specific parts of the body that need healing. It was like a giant octopus got stuck on my back. After the treatment and massage I walked home in the rain, enjoying the day which was quite relaxing. I’ll have to see what kind of affect this treatment will have over the next couple of days but hopefully it will work out fine. I’ll keep my fingers crossed and try to refrain from injuring my back, whilst thinking about my future.