Tag Archives: Quest

Goodbye

Posted on by

One month to go until this blog will be gone. Well not completely gone, I’ve decided to move it to a subdomain of my oldest domain, one I got in October 2006. This domain name will be deleted though along with everything else that once was. I’ve started a new chapter in my life, one that I’m grateful for and I’m counting my blessings each day. I’ve bought a home near the sea and dunes, a light bright home with separate studio space where I can work on my jewellery. A home that brings me happiness ever since I’ve moved there on the eleventh of June this year.

I’ve been redecorating since… Every bit of spare time you’ll find me assembling wardrobes, shelving units, painting walls, putting wooden floors in throughout the apartment etc.etc. Every time I put my love and energy in this home it becomes more beautiful and brighter. I love the view of the sunset that I can see from my kitchen window (and studio window). I love the bright and light living room with the green, taupe and brown colours. Warm colours that create a calm, serene and peaceful oasis. My carnivorous plants are thriving!!! Just like me…

It’s the best decision I’ve made in years. I finally have no more stress in my life, well of course there is just, not the amount of stress that living in Amsterdam was giving me on a daily basis. The streets here are quiet, peaceful. No millions of tourists on one square metre that are trying to take over the once so beautiful city. The only way to enjoy that place was to walk through the quiet streets at night, the only time where Amsterdam would be Amsterdam again, how I used to know it, the city I once loved. But I have a different city to explore now!

A couple more months of decorating and I’ll have time to enjoy and explore, take on yoga classes again and continue with my jewellery business. But first things first. Finish redecorating and styling the studio (gonna be SO much fun!!!), build a raised floor with steps -Japanese style- and sliding doors in the bedroom. Move some of my furniture to the new home and after that it will all be just details to take care of: like buying some more cool plants and getting some accessories. Can’t wait to spend time cycling through the city finding new adventures on my way.

So it’s a new quest on an old domain ;) This domain name reminds me of a time in London 13 years ago, it’s still a quest just not the one related to London, a brand new one. So time to say goodbye to the old and welcome the new… Goodbye A Zestful Quest (.co.uk) 12/09/2007 – 12/09/2019.

I’ll leave the comments on for once, until deletion on the 12/09/2019

Given Time

Posted on by

I need to get things out of my system today and writing is one option that works quite well for me. I’ve been sleeping very badly ever since I’ve been ill for three weeks in December last year. Somehow my sleeping pattern got totally messed up. At times I’m awake till four or even six in the morning having to get up at 06.30 to get to work. During the day I tend to nod off around 15.00 and 16.00 or on my way home on the train. I’m just way too tired.

When in bed I try to relax a bit by playing Sudoku on my mobile but after a while I get fed up with it and will try to sleep but the moment I do the movie in my head starts and it won’t stop. I just keep thinking about things, life, expectations, hopes, my quest and most of all fears. Fear seems to stop me each time from whatever it is I really want from life. Last weekend I had finally finished a cool jewellery design because I’d found the right materials.

So I had this wonderful happy blissful feeling all day long. I realised I had solved a problem that had been stuck in the back of my head for almost two years. The solution saves me time, expenses and the feeling I could seriously mess up a design has completely vanished. It has opened up a new world of endless possibilities and instant gratification. I was so excited I couldn’s sleep at all, thinking about these questions in life that remain no matter what I do.

Fear is keeping me from making a decision, it’s holding me back from what I love to do most and what makes me happy. So I wonder why I don’t make that decision when all I’m getting are extremely positive reactions and a really good feeling about myself. Instead I choose to continue with a job that nolonger gives me any satisfaction no matter how I look at it. I remain in that exact same spot while if I wanted it, really wanted it, I could make things work.

Why would I choose this nagging unhappy feeling above the euphoric state I was in when I accomplished something? I really don’t get it. Is it fear? Fear of what? Staying awake half the night thinking things thru over and over again is not going to do me any good either so why am I doing this to myself? Why is it so extremely hard to go for what I really want wholeheartedly? At times I feel like shouting to myself to awaken me from this bad self-inflicted nonsense.

The other day I was thinking to myself: ‘Tess, if you don’t do this now, you’ll never do it, you’d be running out of time’. All the signs are pointing into the same direction, everything is screaming at me somehow. I can’t just ignore it. It happened too often and with an amazing strong force. People are extremely positive, even encouraging me to take the leap. And yet I stop myself from doing it. Today when I looked at a FB page of an artist I admire, I read the following:

‘All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us’

I wrote it down in my Passion Planner so I can decorate it and turn it into a piece of art that can’t be overlooked or neglected. So if you’ll excuse me for a while… I have a decision to make ;)