Category Archives: Art and Craft

Quality Time

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Life was bliss for three weeks. No rushing, no nagging, no disturbance, just peace and quiet and dealing with an extremely hot summer. It was the best three weeks off I’ve had in a while because I didn’t have to share my time with anyone else. It was just me and it felt awesome. I took the goldsmith course which was an amazing experience as well. Especially when the person teaching -a professional goldsmith- tells you that you have the skill set, patience, creativity and the exceptional natural ability to do this kind of work. I was flattered because she was not the kind of person to give compliments. I’m sure she must have noticed my passion for designing and making jewellery.

The friend who passed away about a month ago, used to be a goldsmith as well. Her ex-partner gave all her tools to me when he heard I was going to take this course. I didn’t use them yet as they were in a small flight case and I had to go through all her stuff first and clean it. It took me three days to sort it, clean it and give it some extra TLC. I had to sand down the inside of the flight case as there was glue stuck allover. After sanding it down I painted it white and cleaned all the aluminium edging and corners on the outside. It looks so much better now, it’s ready to be used. All I need to add over time, is a proper desk, gas torch and tank, hoses, saw, hammer and ring mandrel.

I’ve bought a Garmin vivosport activity tracking device a while ago and have been keeping an eye on stress levels since. They were extremely high, especially in May and June this year and although I didn’t feel stressed most of the time, it was telling me that I really had to slow down and try to reduce this. These past three weeks levels had dropped significantly which was a real eye-opener. I’ve started working again so I’m curious to see what will happen this month. The fact that temperatures were extremely high and I was forced to take things slow must have contributed to lower stress levels as well. I’ve been craving for some serious long spells of rain and thunderstorms for weeks now!

I’ve met up with friends for dinner and really enjoyed their company as I hadn’t been able to see most of them for at least six months, some for over a year. We had lots of stories to share! I’ve updated my jewellery business website and added more pictures in the portfolio section. And I’ve been playing with electroforming but that didn’t go well, I was expecting better results. I’ll have to look into things and see what is causing issues. I think I might have contaminated the bath as I was experimenting with fabric on gemstones. Because of the heat my conductive paint dried waaaaay too fast and I’m guessing it didn’t seal parts completely, also the liquid rubber I’ve used was a new technique.

I’ll try to fix it this weekend. Going back to work was kind of hard because it was 32C at the start of this week and 29C in my office space, too hot to focus on things that need to be done. Today I’m working from home and have some extra time to get chores done and write a blog in between. Still there’s too much on my plate, I can’t seem to focus because of the weather and not sleeping very well. Summer is great but these temperatures are driving me nuts. Last week the government announced an official drought and shortage of water, because of this trees and plants are dying, use of tap water is still fine and not restricted (yet). Thunderstorms and rain is expected tomorrow, we’ll see…

First things first, let’s get some work done ;)

Given Time

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I need to get things out of my system today and writing is one option that works quite well for me. I’ve been sleeping very badly ever since I’ve been ill for three weeks in December last year. Somehow my sleeping pattern got totally messed up. At times I’m awake till four or even six in the morning having to get up at 06.30 to get to work. During the day I tend to nod off around 15.00 and 16.00 or on my way home on the train. I’m just way too tired.

When in bed I try to relax a bit by playing Sudoku on my mobile but after a while I get fed up with it and will try to sleep but the moment I do the movie in my head starts and it won’t stop. I just keep thinking about things, life, expectations, hopes, my quest and most of all fears. Fear seems to stop me each time from whatever it is I really want from life. Last weekend I had finally finished a cool jewellery design because I’d found the right materials.

So I had this wonderful happy blissful feeling all day long. I realised I had solved a problem that had been stuck in the back of my head for almost two years. The solution saves me time, expenses and the feeling I could seriously mess up a design has completely vanished. It has opened up a new world of endless possibilities and instant gratification. I was so excited I couldn’s sleep at all, thinking about these questions in life that remain no matter what I do.

Fear is keeping me from making a decision, it’s holding me back from what I love to do most and what makes me happy. So I wonder why I don’t make that decision when all I’m getting are extremely positive reactions and a really good feeling about myself. Instead I choose to continue with a job that nolonger gives me any satisfaction no matter how I look at it. I remain in that exact same spot while if I wanted it, really wanted it, I could make things work.

Why would I choose this nagging unhappy feeling above the euphoric state I was in when I accomplished something? I really don’t get it. Is it fear? Fear of what? Staying awake half the night thinking things thru over and over again is not going to do me any good either so why am I doing this to myself? Why is it so extremely hard to go for what I really want wholeheartedly? At times I feel like shouting to myself to awaken me from this bad self-inflicted nonsense.

The other day I was thinking to myself: ‘Tess, if you don’t do this now, you’ll never do it, you’d be running out of time’. All the signs are pointing into the same direction, everything is screaming at me somehow. I can’t just ignore it. It happened too often and with an amazing strong force. People are extremely positive, even encouraging me to take the leap. And yet I stop myself from doing it. Today when I looked at a FB page of an artist I admire, I read the following:

‘All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us’

I wrote it down in my Passion Planner so I can decorate it and turn it into a piece of art that can’t be overlooked or neglected. So if you’ll excuse me for a while… I have a decision to make ;)