Strong Hands

There’s something about a man with strong hands and fingers that show muscles and veins. To me a man needs to have strong hands, there must be signs of hard work. Women with strong hands are equally sexy to me although it’s a different kind of sexiness. I can be extremely put off by a guy with seemingly ‘soft’ hands, and the look and feel of those of a woman. It just doesn’t seem right, a man needs to have large muscular hands and preferably muscular arms too, period. What makes it worse is feminine hands in combination with jewellery: cringing.

I have no clue what caused this engrained ‘prejudice’ (or preference if you like) but I do remember something from my past that might have to do with it. When I was a little girl my dad used to work different shifts, sometimes he would come home late and I’d be in bed already, other times he would be home early. Those particular times he would count all the change which he kept in a large purse that he carried with him all day. He’d put it all on the table and make small stacks of coins which he counted after arranging them. It was almost like his daily Zen ritual.

When he was done counting he’d put the money back in the purse and take a kip. This was the moment where I would usually climb on his lap so we would have a kip together. But not before he’d put his large hand over my face to tease me. He would hold it there until I started to laugh and I’d try to push it away but of course I could never manage as his hand was huge compared to my face and he was way stronger. I could smell gasoline, tabaco and coins on his hand and up to this day I have fond memories of this. It was one of his loving teasing games he would play.

So I guess this is where I’ve gotten this preference for strong masculine hands. They ‘ought to’ smell of gasoline and tabaco. They ‘ought to’ show marks of hard labour and raised vains. I guess it also has something to do with feeling protected and comforted. At times when I’m on my daily commute to work I notice men with effiminate features, I’ve realised that I often check out their hands as this would give me an impression of what type of person it is. This morning I saw this guy sitting opposite of me who had small feminine hands and was wearing way too many golden rings.

I realised I was seriously put off by it, which made me contemplate about the reason why. It seems I’m not an exception as studies have been done about the topic by different scientists and they offer some kind of explanation as to why people have certain preferences. I was happy to read that it has nothing to do with shallowness, I’m very aware of the flaws I have ;) but this particular issue seems to be based on a scientifically approved justification. So next time I’ll notice something that makes me seriously cringe, I’ll politely look away and instead play a silly game on my phone…

The Reward

Yesterday I had my work evaluation, November last year I had to write an extensive report about my intentions, my goals, my planning etc. so yesterday I had to meet up with my unit manager to discuss my report and his comments on what I had written. It was an extremely nice chat especially when he handed over an envelope with a letter. He explained to me that he wanted to give it to me in person this time because last year the letter had been sent to me through regular mail. I still had no idea what he was on about. Then he mentioned that I must have noticed something on my payslip in December. I said I didn’t because I had filled out several expenses claims which were reimbursed.

I read the letter that he had given me and to my surprise I found out that I had -again- received a pay rise, the second time in about a year. This was -among other things- due to the fact that I have taken up a study in October last year. I have been working as a UX designer for some time now but I’ve never taken a course or got any certificates to prove my knowledge about the subject. Basically I have been doing UX as part of any assignment so far as there was no specific education for this at the time. Plus it had always been part of the design process anyway just not as extensive as it is nowadays. So I already had some knowledge because of my work experience over the last 10 years.

UX design is booming at the moment, just like webdesign became booming about 15 years ago. Back then the issue was the same, there was no education and everything I’ve learned I’ve learned through self-study and hands-on experience. But I guess I was a lot more aware of my skills when I was younger, I never had to give anything any thought, I just did what was expected so I learned new skills along the way and had no doubts I could deliver whenever I had to. I was successful and confident. I guess when you get older all of that starts to fade a little so I took on the courses in order to see what level of knowledge I have, to gain more confidence and to learn whatever I still have to learn.

So far I’ve been doing really well, I already have my first certificate in and I’m currently taking the second course out of a total of nine. I’m truly enjoying the subjects especially the current one which is about the principles of designing for humans. I’ve learned so much already about psychology and physical facts, the way a user reads the information presented on screen or how information is moving from short-term memory to long-term memory and what the eye perceives information-wise. It’s all very interesting! I’ve noticed that I also enjoy studying, something I didn’t expect when I started the first course. Yes it’s hard to study and work at the same time but it’s so extremely rewarding.

Whilst talking with my unit manager I told him I was even thinking about getting another degree. He asked me if it was necessary and if I really needed it in order to get assignments in and to my surprise I had to answer that question with a ‘no’. So far I had two different assignments both for the local government where I was rejected because of my level of education which is fine but I don’t have any diploma’s. Let me rephrase that, I do have a diploma… but because I have been gaining experience through work, my level of knowledge has become way higher than my original education. I have a bachelor degree but my level of knowledge is equal to a masters degree (which I don’t have).

It has never stopped me before to get to where I wanted to be. So after he asked me that question I was thinking that perhaps I’d better spend my time on my jewellery designs instead of trying to get another degree which will take another three years. I’ve been getting assignments in over the last six years without a problem. Taking on the study was a wise thing to do but it’s sufficient for now. I’m happy I made the choice and that I’m getting the certificates I need, in order to become more confident. The study will be finished in about nine months and when it does, I will have more spare time again to work on my other skills that make me happy: my jewellery designs. Something cool to look forward to!