Once again my intuition proved me right. I have certain people in my life that I can’t rely on really. In the past it used to bother me big time, I would even let it upset me to a point where I was angry at myself for having high expectations once again. Point is, it has nothing to do with me. These people are who they are; they only need someone when they can use and take advantage of the person. They are calculated and ambiguous. You won’t hear from them (until they need you again) once they got what they want from you.
That’s all.
People that I thought were my friends, proved otherwise. These days I can’t really be bothered anymore, they say one thing and do another, they’re phony, they’re not genuine and they’re transparent to me. My intuition tells me to be aware and so I am. I play their game along and tell them what they need to hear from me but always keep a thought in the back of my mind. I’d say to myself: ‘Common, I challenge you to play your cards, show me what you’re made of, coz whatever it is I’m always a step ahead of you…’
In the past I’d do anything to please ‘friends’ whenever they needed me. I’d be willing to make them happy, I would be extremely flexible and forgiving. Back then I was not willing to distance myself so it would not get to me. Instead I’d let them upset me, whilst looking for their approval and wanting to be part of their interesting *not* lives. It would take me time to find out the truth about their superficial traits, thus their superficial ‘friendship’. And in the process I would get hurt or upset over and over again.
These days, I do take my distance and whenever they try to get in touch or meet up, there’s always this voice in the back of my head telling me ‘seeing is believing, you’d better prove to me first that you are worth my time…’. It’s fine, I let them be who they are, I approach them the way they approach me. Funny thing is that most of the time, they don’t like that at all, I guess it’s because I put a mirror in front of them and show them their true colours. If you want to play games with me, you’ll get to play, so play wisely…
Friendship is not based on games though but on affection, trust, and a mutual sense of concern and respect. Friends are there for you when you need them. They would leave you alone when you need solitude. A truly great friend can tell the difference between these two. Aristotle speaks of three kinds of friendship; ‘friendship of utility’ based on usefulness of the association with another, ‘friendship of pleasure’ based on pleasures and enjoyment produced by the association of another. Both self-centered and egocentric.
And a third: ‘friendship in virtue’ which incites each other to higher purposes. I’m afraid that those ‘certain people in my life’ which I’ve referred to in the first sentence are the kind that would be part of the aforementioned friendships. The self-centered and egocentric kind. The kind of friendships that are subject to dissolution with time and circumstances. Lucky me I recognise it a lot faster nowadays, so I take distance and lower my expectations. And instead I spend more time with friends of the last category 