Category Archives: Repatriation

Shifting Moods

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This is written during a brief hiatus from blogging, when I had no internet connection for three weeks

My moods are shifting hourly today, I’m okay most of the time but perhaps that’s because I have almost no privacy and can’t really deal with the roller coaster of emotions I’m currently going through. When I’m on my own I feel so uprooted, sad and confused, wishing I don’t have to live out of boxes feeling like I’m constantly on the move.

The slow bureaucracy system is not helping much either, it takes two weeks to send my info from one city to another. I wonder if they walk the 40 km distance to get it there… After the two weeks wait I’ll have to apply for a ‘DigiD number’ online which was introduced when I left so I never applied for it at the time since I didn’t expect to ever use it.

It takes another week to get the ‘DigiD number’ and then I can finally register with all other organisations to get the ball rolling. I’ve received a letter yesterday that I’m supposed to have internet connection again next Tuesday which is pretty quick. Let’s hope I’ll receive the modem on time so I can start installing and testing the LAN/WAN.

Once the connection is up and running the madness will start again, I have clients waiting for me to contact them. It’s okay, I can’t sit around and ‘do nothing’, I need to be busy to stay sane but on the other hand I really wish to be by myself for a while. Perhaps I’ll stay ‘invisible’, I need some time for me coz I don’t really feel like talking to anyone.

Stranger To Myself

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This is written during a brief hiatus from blogging, when I had no internet connection for three weeks

I’m back to where I originally started and it feels strange, it’s like I’m having another culture shock again. I have to explore ways that are not familiar with me because I’ve been away for a while. Last Tuesday I went downtown to register at the city hall. I’d forgotten what it looked like and I was amazed by the marble floors and pillars, the canals and terraces surrounding this beautiful old building.

I was warned about having to wait for some time but I feel they didn’t keep me waiting that long at all. I guess ‘long’ means ‘hours’ to me but this only took 20 minutes. The woman opposite of me was very friendly and she answered all my questions, even the odd ones. I had to take the bus there but it was a nice trip, a trip down memory lane. So much has changed ever since I moved, so many new buildings and shops.

This place used to be my home once but I realise it isn’t anymore. I’m reliving memory after memory which is funny in a way but scary at the same time. I recognise parts, for some odd reason they’re mostly statues which I used to climb and parks where I used to play. I saw the fences I used to sit on and hang from that have been there ever since I was a child. And next to it the building where we had gymnastics.

I cycled yesterday, after a long period of having the bicycle in storage I could finally cycle again. The weather was amazing and I cycled passed all the things that brought back these childhood memories.