Tag Archives: Bureaucracy

Pink Confetti

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I’m having a day off in the midst of this five weeks course and it’s a welcome break. I’m having a slight cold today, it’s because the weather has been crazy all week. When I leave in the morning it’s only about 8C° but by the time the course is done it’s about 20C°. Choosing the right things to wear is kinda hard when the weather is like this and would’ve been much easier if I could get to the course by car. But I’m not… I’m cycling each day and it feels great!

On my way there I’m surrounded by nature and each morning I watch birds nesting, green around me getting greener and blossoms being washed down by rain. The wind causes a whirl of nature’s confetti when it touches these tiny pink blossoms lying on the ground. Unfortunately it’s only a matter of weeks or even days -depending on the weather- for the blossoms to be gone again so I’m trying to enjoy them as much as I can while I can…

I had an extremely busy week, running around to get to different appointments. I haven’t had much sleep either worrying too much about stuff that I shouldn’t worry about. I’ve learnt so much about myself especially yesterday when I was told that I should stop being such a perfectionist. That I should cut myself some slack: not to put so much pressure on me by trying to do everything right not allowing myself to make any mistakes.

I had to give a presentation to a group of twelve people: they would ‘judge’ me by giving me feedback on things such as, posture, attitude, facial expression, body language etc. I didn’t have much time to prepare my presentation since I missed quite a few hours of this course having to deal with appointments with municipal offices, providing them with papers and such. The degree of unnecessary bureaucracy in this country still amazes at times.

Anyway, the presentation went extremely well. Something I didn’t expect at all and I was told by the coach to sit back and revel in all the compliments for a change instead of thinking about what could’ve been improved still. I mentioned self-reflection in my previous post but boy, it sure is… and it’s been great so far! The stress has reduced big time after my last appointment on Wednesday when I broke out in tears all of a sudden.

Something that was mentioned touched the right chord at the right time. Some (so-called friends) fail to support me or understand what I’m dealing with, while others (read: strangers at municipal offices) realise what is going on and totally understand how I feel about it all. So I was touched by the empathy and the kind words of this stranger opposite of me, it was liberating to finally get the opportunity to shed those tears after all the stress.

It’s been a strange week but a good one and I’m celebrating new insight by enjoying the free pink confetti party that nature is throwing me!

© Zesty Gal – Pink Confetti, there’s six of them in a row :)

Shifting Moods

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This is written during a brief hiatus from blogging, when I had no internet connection for three weeks

My moods are shifting hourly today, I’m okay most of the time but perhaps that’s because I have almost no privacy and can’t really deal with the roller coaster of emotions I’m currently going through. When I’m on my own I feel so uprooted, sad and confused, wishing I don’t have to live out of boxes feeling like I’m constantly on the move.

The slow bureaucracy system is not helping much either, it takes two weeks to send my info from one city to another. I wonder if they walk the 40 km distance to get it there… After the two weeks wait I’ll have to apply for a ‘DigiD number’ online which was introduced when I left so I never applied for it at the time since I didn’t expect to ever use it.

It takes another week to get the ‘DigiD number’ and then I can finally register with all other organisations to get the ball rolling. I’ve received a letter yesterday that I’m supposed to have internet connection again next Tuesday which is pretty quick. Let’s hope I’ll receive the modem on time so I can start installing and testing the LAN/WAN.

Once the connection is up and running the madness will start again, I have clients waiting for me to contact them. It’s okay, I can’t sit around and ‘do nothing’, I need to be busy to stay sane but on the other hand I really wish to be by myself for a while. Perhaps I’ll stay ‘invisible’, I need some time for me coz I don’t really feel like talking to anyone.