I watched Memoirs of a Geisha the other day, quite a moving film if you look at it from a love story perspective, quite a realistic film from a snake pit perspective. I was amazed to see the jealousy and competitiveness focused on Sayuri the main character who was beaten, publicly humiliated, degraded, betrayed, insulted, bullied and envied by this one Geisha for no other reason than jealousy.
I guess I was amazed by the fact that a woman is capable of having such hatred against another. I tried to understand why but I guess there are no reasons for jealousy, it’s just the way it is. I could very much relate to Sayuri because I’ve been in similar situations ever since I became aware of the kind of games certain women feel the need to play, unfortunately quite recent too, though I don’t wish to be part of it.
I always wonder why they need to behave like schoolgirls because I could only understand and justify that kind of behaviour when it’s done by 13-year-olds since they don’t know any better. I also wonder why they seem to feel threatened by me or my appearance while I’m certainly not provoking or behaving in a way that would suggest inappropriate manners or ideas. I’m just being me, reserved me, polite me and kind me.
So why do they feel the need to sneer or bitch at me, humiliate and ignore me? It’s annoying because if they would only try and see me for who I am they would see past the surface -read: appearance- and find a decent person within. One with no hidden intentions, who’s genuine and who could be interested in getting to know you better and share mutual respect. So what the hell have I done to you that you can’t?
I remember being at a venue in Amsterdam where a band was playing that evening. I said hello to a woman who looked familiar and started chatting with her. It turned out she worked at this bar that I used to go to. We had a really nice conversation and at some point she said: I can’t believe you just started chatting with me like that. I said: Why not? She said: Well, you’re beautiful, beautiful women don’t talk to me.
She was referring to the bar where she worked and explained to me that most women who would hang out there [Rockabilly scene] were arrogant and definitely not interested in having a conversation with her. She didn’t have to explain that one to me, I knew exactly what kind of women she was referring to. Whenever I was at that bar I tried to avoid them like the plague although some were friends of friends.
But yes, arrogance and/or jealousy are two traits that can make the most beautiful woman look utterly ugly if it marks her behaviour. Especially when it’s done in such a way that it’s only recognised by the women involved. Others in most cases, hardly seem to be aware of the manipulative sneaky mind games that are going on, trying to drag one down into the snake pit. They’d rather turn a blind eye [or deaf ear].
I totally don’t get this behaviour because I’m not that kind of woman and yes it does get to me, coz I just don’t understand… but I’m grateful for those like-minded women that are part of my life because they show respect, accept me and allow me to be me…
Fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated with true virtue.