Slacker…

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I’ve been away for a while, I guess life caugth up with me over the past eight months. Things have been utterly hectic and weird lately in all aspects. My assignment finished in January this year, I was told the second week of December last year just when I was about to take my well-earned two weeks off. Because the board member -responsible for the web team and redesign of the government website- stepped down and removed herself from this project it was cast adrift all of a sudden. Never in my entire career have I faced a situation like this. I was stunned by the unprofessional ways this organisation was dealing with their employees, the repetitive mistakes and the arrogant attitude that came with it. It was like walking through a maze, not sure what to expect around each corner.

And so my assignment ended the day before my birthday, what a coincedence… In the meantime I’d already had two intakes at two different clients. The latter wanted another interview planned as soon as my assignment had ended. Then after I also had to give a presentation including answering questions, and once that was done they would decide if they wanted to take me on for this project. Five minutes after I had held my presentation, -I was on my way back to Amsterdam and just gotten on the train when I received a call- I was told that I was hired for the project. I was surprised because I didn’t know what to expect after giving this presentation to about fifteen people. I guess I must have left a good impression with at least half of the group or else they wouldn’t have hired me ;)

Things went all way too fast as I didn’t have a moment to relax and adjust to the new situation. Last time I was in between projects I had a few months where I could relax a bit, finish work-related administration, backup files and documents, and get my Mac ready for the next assignment. This time, I only had five days of which three were over the weekend. So yes things have been pretty hectic since and I’ve been juggling work, ‘me-time’ and the demands of daily life in general. It’s one of the largest projects I’ve worked on so far as it involves three levels of government, municipal, provincial and the water boards (the oldest government authorities in the Netherlands). This makes it all very complex, but at the same time it’s a really cool experience and a great opportunity to gain knowledge!

Then at the beginning of this month our department moved further south, so my already long distance commute doubled in km and time. It’s ok for now, the project is worth the trip but I’m not sure if I can keep up with this for a couple of years. I’m already told that if they’re happy with my skills and input, I could easily have this assignment extended to up to three to five years at least (…). I’m trying to get approval to work from home one day per week which will give me an extra two hours in the morning to catch up on sleep and I could do some chores during the day. Yup, I have been a total blog slacker but it has been out of my control all these months. Whenever I started to write I couldn’t finish due to a serious lack of time. I will try and write at least once a month and I’ll catch up when I can ;)

Arthrosis

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Last week was kind of hectic, health-wise. I went to see a different masseuse because the Ayurvedic therapist is abroad to study for half a year and gain more professional knowledge. The new masseuse is very good and I had a nice though painful massage. She treated muscles that I thought were ok but the moment she touched them I could feel the tension. There were tiny little knots all over my back, mostly the shoulders and lower back and along the spine which she treated with care. Yes it was painful but I could also feel the tension slowly release with each stroke and applied pressure.

The following days I could hardly move again because my whole back felt extremely sensitive. I also had a cold so I decided to stay in bed most of the weekend to stay warm, sleep and relax as much as possible as I’d had a few bad nights where I fell asleep around four in the morning. Of course I had to work again on Monday and carrying a bag full with computer equipment, weighing about 5 kilo isn’t helping much either. When Wednesday came around I was in pain again, not as bad as the previous weeks but still. That day I had to visit my GP to discuss the results of the x-rays.

I’d had the x-rays done on Thursday but my GP doesn’t work on Fridays so I had to visit her the next week. Whilst there she told me that I have arthrosis which affects my spine between the shoulderblades and the lower back. It wasn’t clear that this was actually caused by the accident I had in 2005 whilst snowboarding as it had been some time ago when it happened and the x-rays didn’t clearly show. Though my GP suspected I’ve had a vertebral fracture at the time based on what I’d told her. Right after it happened I couldn’t breath for a while, couldn’t stand straight and was in excrusiating pain.

So what it comes down to is that I’ll have to live with this pain for the rest of my life… It made me wonder about a lot of things and got me into deep thinking again. My GP wanted to give me painkillers as I’m allowed to take 4 times a day two paracetamol tablets, but I’m only willing to take those when the pain is really bad. Over the last four weeks I’ve taken two tablets twice because I prefer not to take them daily if I can get thru the day without. Yes I will experience pain but I don’t want to run the risk of getting dependent on painkillers for the next 30 years eventhough the pain will come and go.

As I mentioned deep thinking earlier, I’m very aware that I might have to make some drastic changes and decide what I’ll do job-wise. Carrying that heavy bag each day isn’t gonna help. Having a two hour commute door-to-door either. And that’s just two work related facts. Others are related to household issues and having to climb lots of stairs because I live in an old fire tower with six floors and a bedroom at the top floor whilst a kitchen is at the second floor. Just not very practical situations that I’ll have to think about along with more life-changing issues that I have to take into consideration as well.

Today I went to see the masseuse again and she used the ‘cupping’ method this time where she puts cups on your back to create a vacuum. The blood is drawn to the surface of the skin in specific parts of the body that need healing. It was like a giant octopus got stuck on my back. After the treatment and massage I walked home in the rain, enjoying the day which was quite relaxing. I’ll have to see what kind of affect this treatment will have over the next couple of days but hopefully it will work out fine. I’ll keep my fingers crossed and try to refrain from injuring my back, whilst thinking about my future.