Last week was kind of hectic, health-wise. I went to see a different masseuse because the Ayurvedic therapist is abroad to study for half a year and gain more professional knowledge. The new masseuse is very good and I had a nice though painful massage. She treated muscles that I thought were ok but the moment she touched them I could feel the tension. There were tiny little knots all over my back, mostly the shoulders and lower back and along the spine which she treated with care. Yes it was painful but I could also feel the tension slowly release with each stroke and applied pressure.
The following days I could hardly move again because my whole back felt extremely sensitive. I also had a cold so I decided to stay in bed most of the weekend to stay warm, sleep and relax as much as possible as I’d had a few bad nights where I fell asleep around four in the morning. Of course I had to work again on Monday and carrying a bag full with computer equipment, weighing about 5 kilo isn’t helping much either. When Wednesday came around I was in pain again, not as bad as the previous weeks but still. That day I had to visit my GP to discuss the results of the x-rays.
I’d had the x-rays done on Thursday but my GP doesn’t work on Fridays so I had to visit her the next week. Whilst there she told me that I have arthrosis which affects my spine between the shoulderblades and the lower back. It wasn’t clear that this was actually caused by the accident I had in 2005 whilst snowboarding as it had been some time ago when it happened and the x-rays didn’t clearly show. Though my GP suspected I’ve had a vertebral fracture at the time based on what I’d told her. Right after it happened I couldn’t breath for a while, couldn’t stand straight and was in excrusiating pain.
So what it comes down to is that I’ll have to live with this pain for the rest of my life… It made me wonder about a lot of things and got me into deep thinking again. My GP wanted to give me painkillers as I’m allowed to take 4 times a day two paracetamol tablets, but I’m only willing to take those when the pain is really bad. Over the last four weeks I’ve taken two tablets twice because I prefer not to take them daily if I can get thru the day without. Yes I will experience pain but I don’t want to run the risk of getting dependent on painkillers for the next 30 years eventhough the pain will come and go.
As I mentioned deep thinking earlier, I’m very aware that I might have to make some drastic changes and decide what I’ll do job-wise. Carrying that heavy bag each day isn’t gonna help. Having a two hour commute door-to-door either. And that’s just two work related facts. Others are related to household issues and having to climb lots of stairs because I live in an old fire tower with six floors and a bedroom at the top floor whilst a kitchen is at the second floor. Just not very practical situations that I’ll have to think about along with more life-changing issues that I have to take into consideration as well.
Today I went to see the masseuse again and she used the ‘cupping’ method this time where she puts cups on your back to create a vacuum. The blood is drawn to the surface of the skin in specific parts of the body that need healing. It was like a giant octopus got stuck on my back. After the treatment and massage I walked home in the rain, enjoying the day which was quite relaxing. I’ll have to see what kind of affect this treatment will have over the next couple of days but hopefully it will work out fine. I’ll keep my fingers crossed and try to refrain from injuring my back, whilst thinking about my future.