Category Archives: Amsterdam II

The Youngsters

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I’m traveling by train each day and I’ve seen and heard lots of weird things on my way to work back and forth. Lately I’ve noticed that young people these days tend to speak annoyingly loud. The concept of privacy and/or private space of others is either something they’re not aware of or don’t seem to grasp at all. They also lack a serious amount of courtesy and show no respect for others. Pointless chatter by one or two of them seems to be the standard morning ritual. Utterly annoying and most of the time extremely loud. They don’t seem to have a clue about the fact that everyone is overhearing their conversation or when they’ll start bragging about things which makes it even more annoying and ignorant.

The other day I was on the train back to Amsterdam when I girl next to me was talking so loud to the person on the other end of the phone connection that all six people around her where sitting with an expression on their faces of total disbelief. The girl was exposing her so-called problems to the world around her in such a way she probably wasn’t even aware of. The woman opposite of me started grinning at some point and had to put her hand before her mouth to cover her laugh. I saw her face and was grinning as well. We were all spectators of the utter drama of a 20-something-year-old.

The woman opposite of me even asked her to lower her voice which she did after staring at her for a while, unfortunately it didn’t last long as within three minutes the decibels were back on the same level as they were before the remark. It wasn’t just the loudness that was causing us six to chuckle it was also the total absurdness of the conversation; the topics that were discussed and how it was discussed. She made it sound like each and every pathetic issue was the end of the world. She sounded and looked like a spoiled rich child, making us witnesses to her little drama of a soap opera.

The moment she got up and left the train, everyone around me started to laugh and remark on the ignorant attitude of this creature who unfortunately is not one of a kind… Another time -during rush hour- there were these two guys, one sitting opposite of me with his friend standing next to him and another guy also sitting opposite of me talking on the phone. The guy on the phone was speaking so loud that the other two were constantly battling and raising their voices in order to be heard by everyone nearby. One of them talked with excessive pride and self-satisfaction about his achievements.

He just got a new advertising job and his manager and colleagues had invited him to join them on a retreat to Thailand for five days. He was constantly bragging about everything he had accomplished and the guy he was talking to barely responded. I could tell he felt really uncomfortable about his boasting ‘friend’ and the volume that was used to bring the news to the whole train. In the meantime the guy on the phone couldn’t stop blabbing either. It was like a hen fight somehow and all these meaningless and pointless conversations -again- made me chuckle. What is wrong with these people?

I honestly feel blessed when I get on a train in the morning and people just don’t talk, when the quiet is so loud it becomes overwhelming. I can really really enjoy those journeys to work, where I stare into the distance and watch the meadows passing by, the beauty of nature, the sun rising and the tranquillity of the morning. I cannot imagine I would’ve been so loud at that age, I would’ve been talking that same kind of nonsense or discuss drama with someone so everyone could hear. It is not my nature nor am I the boasting type. I guess it’s a generation issue and a matter of courtesy and respect.

I’m getting ‘old’.

Visceral Charge

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Have you ever been in a situation where you felt extremely uncomfortable without being able to identify the exact issue that is causing it? I have… On several occasions actually and each time triggered by a person, spirit or thing. The other day when I was on the train on my way to work a man sat down on the seat beside me on my right. He was tall and big, not extremely big but big enough to be present in my private space as I could sense him invade it with an energy as dark and thick as night, reflecting his inner turmoil. He was restless: either leaning against the back of the seat and touching my arm with his arm or leaning over looking at me from the side or staring out of the window. I felt utterly intimidated…

His clothes were rank with this pungent smell of greasy body odor. Whenever he moved around on the seat I could catch a whiff of it, making me want to hold my breath to avoid sudden and violent projectile vomiting. I was very aware of each movement he made because of this and because of the bad energy he was exposing. Normally I don’t instantly feel intimidated by someone or something, but this time the feeling was overwhelming. As if he had taken over my private space, like a thick black unavoidable steady stream of mud continuously flowing until everything was completely covered with it. Every three minutes he would move to one side and take his phone from his right pocket to check it.

In doing so he had to lean over towards me to get it out of his pocket thus violating my space. He would check his phone for a few seconds then put it away again. This went on for about twenty minutes just before arriving at the next train station. In the meantime I was trying to avoid him by playing a few games of solitaire on my phone but his presence was unavoidable. Each time he moved I was made very aware of that, so I stopped playing and looked out the window instead, trying to ignore the restless bulk that was sitting next to me. Like an emotional predator, he was waiting for the kill but I wouldn’t give in that easy. If he was in for a mental tug of war he could definitely get one by making him feel agitated.

The more I ignored him -imagining myself sitting inside an enclosed space filled with bright light, a space that grew larger and larger- the more restless he became. He tried to make eye contact by leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, turning his head towards me and staring at me for half a minute, then he would move back again trying to lean against the back of the seat and moving his arm away in order to avoid touching my elbow. I just sat there quietly ignoring and ‘allowing’ him to play his cat and mouse game. I sat in my own white glowing energy, growing stronger by the minute. The more I imagined myself in my energy the more agitated he became which only proved what I’d sensed about him all along.

Finally the train arrived at my destiny, whilst he was sitting next to me I didn’t have a good look at him because his psycho vibes warned me not to do so, but the moment he got up I did. A rising bulk still but far less intimidating as twenty minutes earlier when staring at me. He didn’t look back but I’m guessing he could feel my piercing third eye telling him to F.O. He was wearing a military parka and a backpack, his hair was greasy, uncombed and showed scabs. His face didn’t show any expression, he was the kind that would easily blend into the crowd without anyone noticing anything odd about him. The quiet silent type and at the same time asserting a warped sense of mental authority.

I continued my commute and watched him disappear in the overcrowded train station, but it took a while to shake the feeling of what had been going on not so long ago. I still can’t explain what it was what made me feel uneasy, but it was something dark, this I know for sure… 13 Feb 2017 @ 08:03