I haven’t been around much, I’ve had an extremely stressful day this week, two actually. One caused by a client the other one caused by a printer that I trusted with business for this same client. I wonder at times what happened to common courtesy in this world. Why are some so afraid to admit to mistakes and feel the need to blame it on others? What’s keeping these people from being genuine and show some respect?

I honestly don’t understand and it has been bugging me ever since I had to deal with it that particular day. It’s been so bad that I woke up because of a freaky dream I had caused by the client from hell. I refuse to become a scapegoat for the lack of communication and problems they have within their own structure. But the nightmare told me that I didn’t say what I wanted to say because of different reasons.

The first is that I was caught off guard; since I had done nothing wrong I wasn’t expecting to become the focus of anger and frustration of others. The raging person on the other end of the land line refused to listen to me when I tried to point out that they were the ones responsible for stagnation. I can’t force them to deliver what is needed and I refuse to constantly chase them up. I’m doing them a favour, I shouldn’t have to.

The second reason all had to do with the fact that I wasn’t ready to defend myself and certainly not in a foreign language. I don’t play games and expect the same from others, my mistake coz that seems to be quite rare these days and more or less common practice. I refuse to degrade myself to their level so I kept quiet but when the right moment came, I did have a tone and made things clear but I wish I’d said a lot more.

Why? Because it showed up in the nightmare that I had that night. I wanted to understand the meaning of it so I googled and found three other people who had exactly the same dream or something similar. I was really surprised to see that someone else had dreamt exactly the same details which made me wonder if the ‘language’ of dreams is something that is set in our genes and our brain wave activity.

I would be the perfect case study to Jung and Freud, don’t you think? …

© J. Waterhouse Circean poison

ps in case you wondered, I’ve removed the EW. link even though I’m at the top of blogs listed, because I no longer feel related to any of their ideas, policies etc. It became just another commercial website that is only willing to show the fake superficial glamour of a trailing spouse. Shame really…