Tag Archives: Practice

Creative Sources

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I’ve been reading some old posts and wasn’t too happy about my writing. I guess these last two months have been too hectic as I can tell I’ve been rushing to finish writing certain posts, mostly whilst on the train commuting. I’ve promised myself to write every other week, but the thing about writing is that it won’t come to you if it doesn’t, just like any other creative process. I’m seriously lacking creativity lately because life seems to consume every bit of energy and time. I’ve decided to rewrite some of these posts as they do not reflect what I was trying to say, either because of bad English or rushing to get things done.

My creativity strongly depends on my mood: if I’m not happy I can’t create, I’d feel blocked and it’s no point trying. Especially with the design of jewellery, it can be hard to get started when I’m not in the right mood. Writing is a different story; I can still write when I’m pissed off, at times it even adds to the writing ;) But creating jewellery, paintings or anything else is simply not going to work. In the past I’ve tricked myself by looking forward to spending time creating jewellery over the weekend. Often it turned out utterly disappointing after I’d have a fight or discussion, instantly killing the creative process in my mind.

Something I’ve been looking forward to doing has died and when that happens I feel so frustrated. Time and energy are sparse when working and trying to juggle all the balls that life throws at you. What makes it worse, is that when I can trully dig into these creative sources it actually gives me lots and lots of energy, it’s totally relaxing and when I accomplish something it is extremely rewarding. Particularly the part when people see what I’ve made and comment on it. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a negative reaction or criticism. Everyone seems to love it which makes me a contented and proud designer.

So while I try to keep all those balls in the air, I find myself struggling with doing the things that are most rewarding. It seems a constant battle that I can’t win especially when I need to rush because I try to make use of a commute where I would normally doze off or think about what the day will bring or has brought me on my way home. Basically what it comes down to is focus which I’m lacking because there’s too much on my mind thus too many balls to keep in the air. A circle that needs to be broken somehow but ‘how’ seems to be the main issue here. Plus knowing myself: I want it all at once…

My planner has been neglected for the last four weeks perhaps I should start there because it tells me to write down everything I did have accomplished per week. It also wants me to write down all the good things that happened during the week and I’ve noticed that if I forget to fill out this planner or neglect the tasks that I’ve appointed to myself I either feel guilty for not having done this or I find myself not focussing on stuff that actually needs to be done in order to create spare time. Like writing this blog every other week ;) this post should’ve been finished last Thursday :roll:

Only because I have a bit more time -the second assignment has finished for now until this upcoming Thursday and/or Friday- I’ve decided to catch up on things so I’d feel better. Writing this makes me grin because I still have a half year evaluation to do. This planner is actually a good way of keeping track of accomplishments and how you deal with time planning in general. I believe I’m my worst enemy when it comes to that. I’ve noticed that whenever I set my mind to it I do get stuff done which leaves me enough time to also be creative, but there’s still not enough balance.

One page contains a doodle of mine that says: ‘there should be more!!! green (in this planner)’… I’ve bought five different fluorescent markers to mark all the tasks and things that I love or should do. Each subject has its own colour, green stands for ‘jewellery and crockery project’ and guess what, it hasn’t been green in ages ;) Orange stands for ‘work’ and guess what, there’s way too much orange showing :P Writing gives me clarity, I guess this post has given me enough insight for now, I actually need to get busy sorting that planner it seems… Guess an evalution may be at hand ;)

Hibernating Cereals

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Never thought I would ever eat cereals again since I don’t really like them. I don’t like the combination of cold milk and crispiness but I also dislike the combination of cold milk and soggy stuff in it. I find it gross. So there’s only one option left: eat fast and end up with stomach ache…
I had to eat Weetabix minis [even the sound of the word Weetabix causes a nasty look on my face] with soy milk & banana for breakfast. I tried to avoid all the cereals but had to give in. Just to try again once and see if I might like it. To be honest it wasn’t that bad after all but I still prefer oatmeal.
I just ate as quick as possible and I reckon that can’t be good either. Another thing: that stuff is full of sugar and in this case also hazelnuts and almonds. The only two nuts that I’m allergic to. You must think; wow she’s a nutter… And yes I am, just curious to see if I’m *still* allergic to them.
If my face is swollen tomorrow or very very itchy I can tell I’m still allergic to these nuts. Anyway what’s wrong with triggering your body reactions every now and then. It’s good, it will stay alert that way instead of dormant.
That’s why most people like to work for a boss. Just the fact that he could walk in any minute and catch you in the act of sleeping at your desk is the thrill they’re looking for… Sad thing is, most people ever get caught and are permanently dormant even close to hibernating.
To be honest I could use some sleep right now, but I need to work, work, work. We went to bed quite late last night because I wanted this song from AS. so I could practice singing today. It’s something I. and him have composed.
AS. added drums to it with his new cool drum machine and I will have to add lyrics and vocals to it. Quite tough because it’s a complex song so I’m listening to it now, over and over again, while I’m working on my cute little bee. Better go before I do fall asleep.
Better get some coffee first! See ya.