Another Recovery

I’ve been to the hospital yesterday. It was something that needed to be done and that I have been postponing for almost 8 months, ever since my GP gave me the referral. I’ve been postponing it because the complaints I have are the same as the ones I had whilst living in the UK. Back then it was the start of an excessive period of turmoil which caused nothing but grief, both mentally and physically. I don’t have happy memories of that time in my life thus I do not wish to see it repeated again.

But avoiding a situation is not going to make it disappear all of a sudden. I realise that I shouldn’t ignore my health and instead face my fear. So two weeks ago I finally rang the hospital and made an appointment that was scheduled yesterday. I went to the hospital which is within walking distance (20 min walk) and had a chat with the assistant, she explained the procedure to me. But once on the lithotomy operating table the specialist doctor changed his mind about the treatment because of certain complications.

I ended up having local anaesthesia (four injections) and four biopsies were taken. I had severe contractions caused by what they call the Ferguson reflex. Next week I’ll receive a phone call about the results and see if I need more surgery. If that is the case I will have to recover for another three weeks, whilst I’m not allowed to do heavy lifting, climb stairs etc. I’m trying to take one day at a time and not worry about what is going to be next. Today I’ll focus on getting better, ignore the pain and enjoy a beautiful spring day.

Tense Week

I’m tense and it ain’t fun, I’m tense because of past and present issues because of personal and professional issues, because words are left unspoken and if I do speak out I’m not understood. I’m tense because there is an issue that I’m avoiding while I should discuss it by creating the opportunity. I’m tense because others always seem to pull at me whenever I’m in need of solitude, they’re like moths drawn to a flame when all I want is quiet and peace of mind. I’m too tense and what is on the inside starts to show on the outside.

I’m being warned again that I’m handling things the wrong way, that I should act on it and do something about it or it only gets worse, so I can’t ignore no longer. My body is extremely good at forcing me to stop and listen to myself. It started out as headache last week, this week it nearly turned into a migraine. For the last two days my neck and arm becomes all stiff even if I stretch every 10 minutes. I can actually feel the muscles tighten up and no matter how often or how long I stretch, within the hour I’m in pain. Not just any pain, I wish it was…

So I’m gonna listen to my system and reboot: I’m done working today, work can wait till after the weekend. I’m not gonna reply to any more emails, it can wait till after the weekend. I’m not gonna answer any phone calls, I’m gonna spend time on fun things like my own projects and enjoying the sun that’s greeting me through the window. ScĀ£@%w it… I’m always looking after others and who’s looking after me? It can wait… I’ll be soaking in a hot bath because my neck and arm are screaming for heat therapy and relaxation, I could use a good massage too…

Enough is enough right? It’s about time I say no to people… no not today, today I take time for me, maybe tomorrow, but most likely on Monday. Have a wonderful weekend!

© Zesty Gal, I’m off relaxing!