I’ve just sent an email that has been sitting for months in my outbox waiting to be send. It actually felt good to finally press that send button after such a long time. A couple of months might not seem long but the issue mentioned in that email has been going on for four years already, ever since I left to live in London.

At the time me and the ex sold our fine VW to a friend of mine for 2200 euro: a bargain. We had to arrange certain things at the very last moment which caused a few problems with certain papers but it was solved when we’d arrived in the UK. Up to date -almost four years later- I still haven’t received a darn pence…

Since those involved were trying to sell their business the ex had agreed with them to postpone the payback until the business was sold so they could return the money in one go instead of tiny installments. The business was sold October last year so guess what… I’m still waiting for any financial results coming my way.

After hearing one excuse after another over the last six months I’m now officially fed up with the situation. I stood up for them; put my trust in them being the middlewoman whenever the ex lost his patience in the past, trying to make him see that he could trust them to pay. Seems that he might be right after all…

I’ve learnt to be more assertive during this course that I’m taking and whenever I mention the above situation to someone they keep asking me why I didn’t set my boundaries yet because someone who treats you like that ain’t a friend. I realised I have been making up excuses for this friend as well, trying to talk things right.

Perhaps I was trying to solve things in a polite manner, hoping to restrain the damage but when I think about all this I cannot deny that the damage is already done and certainly not by me. I’ve lost patience and I’m tired of hearing one excuse/promise after another while nothing concrete has been done so far as in payments.

I’m so through with this… I decided this morning to no longer postpone that email nor give her the benefit of the doubt so instead I sent it and made sure that she knows how I feel about the situation: disappointed in her and a 15 years friendship, betrayed, angry, out of patience, tired of making up excuses for her behaviour.

It actually felt quite good once that email was sent… I have some more to deal with soon. One person I’m giving another week’s time to respond since there has been a two weeks vacation. If I don’t hear anything by then, then it’s time to send out another email stating how I feel about things… Hurray for assertiveness!

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