The Reward

Yesterday I had my work evaluation, November last year I had to write an extensive report about my intentions, my goals, my planning etc. so yesterday I had to meet up with my unit manager to discuss my report and his comments on what I had written. It was an extremely nice chat especially when he handed over an envelope with a letter. He explained to me that he wanted to give it to me in person this time because last year the letter had been sent to me through regular mail. I still had no idea what he was on about. Then he mentioned that I must have noticed something on my payslip in December. I said I didn’t because I had filled out several expenses claims which were reimbursed.

I read the letter that he had given me and to my surprise I found out that I had -again- received a pay rise, the second time in about a year. This was -among other things- due to the fact that I have taken up a study in October last year. I have been working as a UX designer for some time now but I’ve never taken a course or got any certificates to prove my knowledge about the subject. Basically I have been doing UX as part of any assignment so far as there was no specific education for this at the time. Plus it had always been part of the design process anyway just not as extensive as it is nowadays. So I already had some knowledge because of my work experience over the last 10 years.

UX design is booming at the moment, just like webdesign became booming about 15 years ago. Back then the issue was the same, there was no education and everything I’ve learned I’ve learned through self-study and hands-on experience. But I guess I was a lot more aware of my skills when I was younger, I never had to give anything any thought, I just did what was expected so I learned new skills along the way and had no doubts I could deliver whenever I had to. I was successful and confident. I guess when you get older all of that starts to fade a little so I took on the courses in order to see what level of knowledge I have, to gain more confidence and to learn whatever I still have to learn.

So far I’ve been doing really well, I already have my first certificate in and I’m currently taking the second course out of a total of nine. I’m truly enjoying the subjects especially the current one which is about the principles of designing for humans. I’ve learned so much already about psychology and physical facts, the way a user reads the information presented on screen or how information is moving from short-term memory to long-term memory and what the eye perceives information-wise. It’s all very interesting! I’ve noticed that I also enjoy studying, something I didn’t expect when I started the first course. Yes it’s hard to study and work at the same time but it’s so extremely rewarding.

Whilst talking with my unit manager I told him I was even thinking about getting another degree. He asked me if it was necessary and if I really needed it in order to get assignments in and to my surprise I had to answer that question with a ‘no’. So far I had two different assignments both for the local government where I was rejected because of my level of education which is fine but I don’t have any diploma’s. Let me rephrase that, I do have a diploma… but because I have been gaining experience through work, my level of knowledge has become way higher than my original education. I have a bachelor degree but my level of knowledge is equal to a masters degree (which I don’t have).

It has never stopped me before to get to where I wanted to be. So after he asked me that question I was thinking that perhaps I’d better spend my time on my jewellery designs instead of trying to get another degree which will take another three years. I’ve been getting assignments in over the last six years without a problem. Taking on the study was a wise thing to do but it’s sufficient for now. I’m happy I made the choice and that I’m getting the certificates I need, in order to become more confident. The study will be finished in about nine months and when it does, I will have more spare time again to work on my other skills that make me happy: my jewellery designs. Something cool to look forward to!

Creative Sources

I’ve been reading some old posts and wasn’t too happy about my writing. I guess these last two months have been too hectic as I can tell I’ve been rushing to finish writing certain posts, mostly whilst on the train commuting. I’ve promised myself to write every other week, but the thing about writing is that it won’t come to you if it doesn’t, just like any other creative process. I’m seriously lacking creativity lately because life seems to consume every bit of energy and time. I’ve decided to rewrite some of these posts as they do not reflect what I was trying to say, either because of bad English or rushing to get things done.

My creativity strongly depends on my mood: if I’m not happy I can’t create, I’d feel blocked and it’s no point trying. Especially with the design of jewellery, it can be hard to get started when I’m not in the right mood. Writing is a different story; I can still write when I’m pissed off, at times it even adds to the writing ;) But creating jewellery, paintings or anything else is simply not going to work. In the past I’ve tricked myself by looking forward to spending time creating jewellery over the weekend. Often it turned out utterly disappointing after I’d have a fight or discussion, instantly killing the creative process in my mind.

Something I’ve been looking forward to doing has died and when that happens I feel so frustrated. Time and energy are sparse when working and trying to juggle all the balls that life throws at you. What makes it worse, is that when I can trully dig into these creative sources it actually gives me lots and lots of energy, it’s totally relaxing and when I accomplish something it is extremely rewarding. Particularly the part when people see what I’ve made and comment on it. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a negative reaction or criticism. Everyone seems to love it which makes me a contented and proud designer.

So while I try to keep all those balls in the air, I find myself struggling with doing the things that are most rewarding. It seems a constant battle that I can’t win especially when I need to rush because I try to make use of a commute where I would normally doze off or think about what the day will bring or has brought me on my way home. Basically what it comes down to is focus which I’m lacking because there’s too much on my mind thus too many balls to keep in the air. A circle that needs to be broken somehow but ‘how’ seems to be the main issue here. Plus knowing myself: I want it all at once…

My planner has been neglected for the last four weeks perhaps I should start there because it tells me to write down everything I did have accomplished per week. It also wants me to write down all the good things that happened during the week and I’ve noticed that if I forget to fill out this planner or neglect the tasks that I’ve appointed to myself I either feel guilty for not having done this or I find myself not focussing on stuff that actually needs to be done in order to create spare time. Like writing this blog every other week ;) this post should’ve been finished last Thursday :roll:

Only because I have a bit more time -the second assignment has finished for now until this upcoming Thursday and/or Friday- I’ve decided to catch up on things so I’d feel better. Writing this makes me grin because I still have a half year evaluation to do. This planner is actually a good way of keeping track of accomplishments and how you deal with time planning in general. I believe I’m my worst enemy when it comes to that. I’ve noticed that whenever I set my mind to it I do get stuff done which leaves me enough time to also be creative, but there’s still not enough balance.

One page contains a doodle of mine that says: ‘there should be more!!! green (in this planner)’… I’ve bought five different fluorescent markers to mark all the tasks and things that I love or should do. Each subject has its own colour, green stands for ‘jewellery and crockery project’ and guess what, it hasn’t been green in ages ;) Orange stands for ‘work’ and guess what, there’s way too much orange showing :P Writing gives me clarity, I guess this post has given me enough insight for now, I actually need to get busy sorting that planner it seems… Guess an evalution may be at hand ;)