I Forgive You

‘Reject your sense of injury, and the injury itself disappears.’

~Marcus Aurelius

If you have been wronged, you can choose:

• to be humble and forgive

or

• to be bitter and vengeful

I refuse to become bitter, I’ve seen what it does to people from a very close perspective -a maternal one- ever since I was a child so I learned my lesson at a young age. I had to literally take distance to be able to forgive after all those years and learn to love and communicate again with her. It’s not easy but we’re getting there slowly but surely…

These days when I see others breaking promises, betray my confidence, tell me lies, my first natural reaction is to be angry at the person. I made a decision some time ago to allow myself to be angry for a few and then to forgive so I’d be able to move on and not let it fester… But at times things get cloudy, thanks my friend for reminding me to be me and just ‘be’!

So today I turn to you and say:

Whatever has been done, although I don’t understand your reason(s), I don’t wish to carry the negativity that came with it as a result and I won’t dwell while I could use this energy in a much better way. You don’t know any better, it wasn’t personal, you were just playing your part responding to the signals I was giving out and for that I forgive you… and myself.

No commenting on this post, instead I’d ask you to use those minutes to contemplate…

No More

I’ve been a bit out of balance lately but I guess that’s just a nice way of saying that I’ve been slightly pissed off with some people, some situations and some attitudes. I had to think deep the moment I realised that I was angry because I know I’m normally not like this and I’m certainly not just angry for no reason. I’m normally relaxed and willing to help whenever help is needed.

So I’ve been thinking and I realised that over the last few days, I had a crazy amount of emails coming in all from people who needed my help in some way. Normally I wouldn’t have had a problem with it but this time it pissed me off and I wanted them to stop bothering me. I started to look for the cause of my anger and realised that what it came down to is showing respect.

I don’t know how many posts I’ve written about the use of bcc/cc and how much I hate it if my info is spread across the world without giving it thought or without my consent: it’s a privacy matter! I wish for people to respect this. I was forced to delete that email account, having to notify all clients, change contacts and online settings, all because of people not being careful.

I’m disappointed that I put my trust in people, help them by doing them favours and not being treated with respect in return. Some simply seem to ignore that I am busy too: sorting out my life and trying to get things back together for me, myself… I need my precious time to work on freelance projects but also to find a way to solve my issues so I can finally have my life back.

And how much I yearn for this to happen and how hard I work for this to make it happen. So I’ve decided that from now on, I’ll stop being the nice person because no matter what I do, it seems that it’s never enough and there’s always the next favour. I’m gonna say no to people, because I’m tired of being nice. I should be nice to myself instead and do myself a favour…

Lately I’ve had severe problems with my wrist, fingers, arm and shoulder: the RSI is back and letting me know that it doesn’t agree with my ‘being nice’ attitude. My body is telling me to stay away from the computer thus those people… and you know what? I’m gonna work on my own things from now on: those things that should have priority above all else, always, at all times.

So when I’m in pain at night and I can’t sleep because of the RSI acting up then I will at least know that my pain is my own and not caused by the fact that I didn’t set my boundaries to protect myself. I’m responsible for creating respect and dignity and to communicating to other’s that I have worth. So from now on: no more Ms Nice Gal… I’m done, finished, thru…

© No more Ms Nice Gal…