Strong Hands

There’s something about a man with strong hands and fingers that show muscles and veins. To me a man needs to have strong hands, there must be signs of hard work. Women with strong hands are equally sexy to me although it’s a different kind of sexiness. I can be extremely put off by a guy with seemingly ‘soft’ hands, and the look and feel of those of a woman. It just doesn’t seem right, a man needs to have large muscular hands and preferably muscular arms too, period. What makes it worse is feminine hands in combination with jewellery: cringing.

I have no clue what caused this engrained ‘prejudice’ (or preference if you like) but I do remember something from my past that might have to do with it. When I was a little girl my dad used to work different shifts, sometimes he would come home late and I’d be in bed already, other times he would be home early. Those particular times he would count all the change which he kept in a large purse that he carried with him all day. He’d put it all on the table and make small stacks of coins which he counted after arranging them. It was almost like his daily Zen ritual.

When he was done counting he’d put the money back in the purse and take a kip. This was the moment where I would usually climb on his lap so we would have a kip together. But not before he’d put his large hand over my face to tease me. He would hold it there until I started to laugh and I’d try to push it away but of course I could never manage as his hand was huge compared to my face and he was way stronger. I could smell gasoline, tabaco and coins on his hand and up to this day I have fond memories of this. It was one of his loving teasing games he would play.

So I guess this is where I’ve gotten this preference for strong masculine hands. They ‘ought to’ smell of gasoline and tabaco. They ‘ought to’ show marks of hard labour and raised vains. I guess it also has something to do with feeling protected and comforted. At times when I’m on my daily commute to work I notice men with effiminate features, I’ve realised that I often check out their hands as this would give me an impression of what type of person it is. This morning I saw this guy sitting opposite of me who had small feminine hands and was wearing way too many golden rings.

I realised I was seriously put off by it, which made me contemplate about the reason why. It seems I’m not an exception as studies have been done about the topic by different scientists and they offer some kind of explanation as to why people have certain preferences. I was happy to read that it has nothing to do with shallowness, I’m very aware of the flaws I have ;) but this particular issue seems to be based on a scientifically approved justification. So next time I’ll notice something that makes me seriously cringe, I’ll politely look away and instead play a silly game on my phone…

Bye Bully Bye!

It’s interesting to see how quickly things can change over time, how a situation can change. I’ve only written one post instead of two last month because I was too busy (working overtime 16 hours a day) and when I logged into the backend of this website I noticed the post I wrote about a month ago about the bully at work. I was so fed up with the guy at the time that I really wanted to leave and look for another assignment. Actually I’d already taken the necessary steps to leave this assignment and informed everyone who needed to be informed on my employer’s side and on the client’s side as well. I was pretty blunt in doing so as I feel no-one should cross my line the way that assh… did.

Still it took about three months to accomplish what I needed to accomplish causing lots of stress that I had to deal with. The moment I had made it clear that I was going to leave, Mr Assh… turned into this slick self-righteous smooth-talking colleague who seemed to be utterly relieved at the knowledge of me leaving. Well… hate to disappoint him but I wasn’t going anywhere at all. I was working for another large project besides his project -a migration of the main website- along with two other colleagues. One is also hired through an IT company to act as the product owner/manager. They both wanted me to design the new website and asked me to join work sessions on this.

In the meantime -during a meeting- he’d told the attending people including this other product owner that he’d refuse to work with me. So whilst one project was ending due to me leaving, the other just started, by me joining. The fun part is that this project outweighs the other one, also by being one of the biggest projects I’ve taken on so far. Basically I totally outsmarted him and he wasn’t aware until the moment the product owner told him she’d asked me to join her team. He was mad as hell but since he’d planned his two weeks vacation he had no time to do anything about it as the deal was already done and all other parties involved had given their consent without informing him.

The day he was told, (one day before his vacation started) he did something utterly childish which only confirmed my stated facts about him. I play this augmented reality game (which is all about capturing ‘portals’ and destroying the opponents’ portals) and so does he, he’s an opponent in the game but he told me he’s not very active, he hadn’t been playing for months. That day someone destroyed the portal at work which I barely use -just the one- surrounded by other green fields/portals, he probably thought I use it daily. Whilst on the bus home I checked to see who trashed it and managed to trace it back to him (I didn’t know his nickname I just googled and found solid facts that it was him).

It made me laugh… During his absense last month I’ve worked on this very important presentation and got everything ready for the big day where the board of executives was going to take a look at it. They were very pleased and all of my designs were approved. I’ll be working on different projects still but at least there won’t be anyone trying to take the wind out of my sails by being a total jerk. I’ve managed to change the situation into one where I’m thriving and enjoying my job again, as I should! He’s still trying to get control since he asked the product owner to join us by sitting in ‘our’ room… We were assigned a particular team project room -two actually- for the three of us.

What he doesn’t realise yet is that his remark about refusing to work with me is going to cost him. If it’s up to my colleagues and team mates he won’t be sitting anywhere near me, I avoid him like the plague and ignore him whenever he is in the room. In the meantime his ‘power’ as product owner is slowly reducing to zero and soon he nolonger will be needed in that role as someone else in a higher position is already appointed to this who should’ve been product owner to begin with. Then he can go back to his former role which is a few steps lower on the hierarchical ladder. I’m pretty sure he is not going to like it a bit. Do I care? Nah… I just can’t stop grinning like a Cheshire cat.

It can take a lot to piss off a Capricorn, but if you do it won’t be pretty and no matter how many times you try to break her she will always come back 10 times harder.