Category Archives: Quest

True Friends

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Today I’ve send an email to my friends, telling them about my plans and what steps I’ll take to get there within the next six months. Sending out the email was a first step and the reactions are heart-warming so far. It tells me that I’m on the right path, it tells me that my true friends are my true friends because they understand my reasons and send me support emails. I’m still thinking about their reactions. I guess they must have noticed something even without me telling them how I feel about certain things.

It lifted up my spirit and I guess I should continue chasing that feeling and keep at it. I have no idea what will evolve over time but I trust my gut, my drive and my perseverance to show me when the time is right. I’m somewhat emotional about the response, their words meant so much to me. I’ll be seeing some of them in the next couple of weeks. I’m sure discussing this is going to add even more meaning. I know they’ll help me stay focused on what needs to be done. And once again I need patience, lots of it.

But the funny thing is, I know I will get where I want to be because there are people out there who believe in me, who are impressed by my decision of taking the risk to give up everything and start another new chapter in my life. It almost feels I took them for granted somehow, their opinions, the friendship that we share. They don’t tell me what I need to hear, they tell me their truth and it happens to be mine as well. I’m so grateful and blessed for having them in my life… For being who they are.

Change has already started, it feels scary but good! :)

Bogged Down

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I seriously need to get stuff out of my system soon. This month is dragging me down knowing what is waiting ahead of me. All sorts of unfinished business. My contract with the government ends so I need to look for new projects. I have so much admin stuff that has built up over the last couple of weeks which needs sorting. Plus there’s some things I need to think about…

I mean really think about. I’m currently not in a happy place and trying hard to make the best of it but I’m so in need of some time off so I can work on my jewellery project. I ordered some things which came in last week but I have not had a chance to use it. Working on the jewellery is like meditation to me. And I’ve got soulsearching to do and think about forgiving someone.

I’m not sure if I can deal with this tho. I’m feeling kind of empty at the moment. Being creative and in meditational mode might help finding myself again. Although I’ve noticed that when I’m sad I can’t create stuff. I need to be happy in order to make beautiful things or come up with great ideas. I need to be inspired. Right now I’m lacking the energy because of this confrontation.

I wrote a letter to get things off my chest. I’ve asked to let me be for a while until damage is healed again and if it doesn’t heal than I’m going to draw a line. I’m getting things to change around here. I’m going to change myself and my perception. It’s once again time to do so but somehow I get bogged down by circumstances. I can’t change those but I can change myself!

Focus is all that is needed. I’m gonna do this.