Category Archives: Amsterdam II

Shoo Shoo

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I’m wasting my time reading stuff about friends or people in general on the internet or FB. There’s no point reading all that stuff, tho it’s relaxing in a way it also has a downside to it besides lost time. I’ve decided that whilst I’m enjoying time off from having to look for a new project, I should be using this period to clean out boxes and throw away stuff I no longer want or need in my life.

I’ve forgotten to get rid of clutter and people, so it’s time that I’d practise some more. It’s rewarding… The weird thing is that whenever I clean out the old, new stuff comes in at an even faster rate. Good new stuff tho but still. I’ve been listening to NLP CDs again, lessons that helped me reach my goal a few years ago when I’d moved back to NL and had to start from scratch.

These CDs tell me lots of valuable info on how to organise your brain so that whatever it is you wish for will happen. It’s about clutter in your life, wrong people, attitude, belief and that you need to surround yourself with those who are positive, supportive and encouraging. Those who add to the creative flow instead of taking from it only. So I guess that’s why I’m in this modus once again.

I’ve found a way to make my new plans work, but in order to achieve this I will certainly have to make room to make this happen *literally*! I should stop reading about others because -according to science reports- reading about others on FB is not a healthy thing to do. It leads to comparison which leads to having feelings of unhappiness and in the worst case, resentment and/or jealousy.

I’m not jealous, I do feel like it’s a waste of time though so I’ve stopped the habit. Instead I’ve started cleaning out boxes and throwing out things I don’t need. Space… I need space in my head and in my life. I’m working on furniture projects this time which is awesome and fun. A start of something bigger along with the jewellery designs. So more energy should flow into that direction!

Whilst I’m thinking about how to decorate the furniture using really cool techniques, I’m also thinking about how to finish the necklace that I’ve designed. So far I’ve had amazing reactions. People who are eager to see the finished items. So there it is: whilst I still have time, I should clean out and once that’s done there will be energy ready to finish what I like to do most!

I’m on a high ;) so I guess I should continue cleaning out those boxes and tonight I’ll be working on cutting out Asian patterns out of paper to decorate the furniture with. Yes I know I sound vague, that’s because it’s an evolving idea and whilst typing this I feel the urge to stop the writing and finish what I should be finishing *hehe*. So I’m gonna stop writing this post now :D

Warped Mind

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I’m thinking a lot lately… All sorts of thoughts enter my brain. At times I wish I could shut it off because some are about stuff that I do not wish to think about. I feel peaceful today tho. I guess something fell of my shoulders when the hospital called about the biopsies. I guess I’m glad I could postpone surgery.

I’ve been reorganising my Moleskine notebook and finally stuck all the design stuff that I wanted to keep in there. I also had a look at job options because I found a cool one online yesterday. I should apply really, the downside is that it’s a 40 hour job. I’ve promised myself to look for 32 hour jobs only.

And I should keep that promise to myself, but then doubts are popping up out of nowhere. I guess cleaning out my stuff is a way to organise these brain effects, make it less warped. I put things where they belong, I throw out stuff I don’t need and detach myself from useless people and things. It’s liberating!

And doubts are just a way to confuse myself about decision I’ve made ages ago. It’s fear in disguise, a trick to stay safe and sound and not take risks. Sometimes the mind is nothing but a complex network of firing neurons, as simple as that. I should try to see it that way instead of making things unnecessarily complicated.

So in order to keep it simple, I do simple stuff. And meanwhile I draw complex blueprints in my head with goals to reach. I try to visualise where I want to be within the next five years. I’ll try and change the things that seem too dificult right now. It’s not that I can’t do it, it’s just that I feel paralysed in a way.

But since I’ve got a creative mind, which works overtime mostly, I’m certain that I will find solutions. I always have and I always will. It’s the core ‘me’… And I trust ‘me’ to help me when I need it. Warped mind, bend yourself in different ways so I can see where the blueprint will take me. You can, I know you can!