Tag Archives: Flow

Two Birds One Stone

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I need to vent and I need to write a new post… I’m having one of those days where you feel like you haven’t done anything all day, didn’t accomplish anything and basically ended up doing everything you’d never planned for. I’ve been on the phone on and off with the hospital, with work, with the IT helpdesk, with the doctor’s assistant. I’ve been trying to solve an issue for two days in a row now and I’m becoming more and more impatient the longer it takes to solve the problem.

I’ve spent most of last week on filling in and sending out expenses claims for public transport and a dinner voucher which I’d received a couple of months ago. It takes at least half a day to sort this out as I have to do this separately for bus and train. It’s extremely time-consuming, not just sorting them but also having to fill in the forms. On top of that I had to take a compliancy test which took forever because I had to watch lots of informational movies and answer about 20+ questions.

I succeeded in the end but it took time… *again*. All of this had to be done before the 15th of this month. I realise it’s still early but I was already taking other things into consideration and in hindsight I’m glad I did. There’s also this evaluation that I need to write, a report about objectives and how and/or if you’ve achieved those. This is done through a web application that you had to fill out at the beginning of this year, back then you needed to set your goals for this year.

At the time I could easily access that tool but ever since I’ve tried to log in again I’m getting errors. Yesterday I had planned for writing this evaluation because I had finished all the chores and tasks that were on my to-do-list ahead of time in case something would go wrong. I didn’t want to find myself having to rush or being all stressed out for not planning this in time. I did… but of course, Murphy -once again- is sitting right next to me keeping me company for the last two days.

As I can’t access that tool, I can’t write the report, so the deadline of the 15th is getting closer each day. You might think ‘why doesn’t she call a helpdesk’… well I did. Our helpdesk is based on foreign grounds and most of the time incompetent, they put your ticket in the system, promise to call you back but never do. Let alone the moment they hear you mention the words ‘Apple Mac’, they instantly refuse help as they are not hired to give support for anything other than company laptops.

I’m a designer, I need my Mac as the company laptops don’t suffice, so I bought my own MacBook Air a while ago particularly for work. I got VPN access, I can access and use the mailserver through my mail client. But I don’t get support because I’m not mainstream thus an exception to the company rules. So far I’ve always managed to solve any (network related) problem even the VPN settings which were a pain to obtain and sort out. It took a while but I got the job done.

Each new policy becomes another drain as I have to deal with a multitude of intranet websites, logins and tools to work with. Ever since the company merged their systems with the global systems, it has been total chaos. I’ve managed to find workarounds or solved issues, just not today… nor yesterday. I’m anxiously waiting for thé phone call whilst day two is slowly ticking away. Pretty sure the problem will be solved next week, one day before the deadline, wanna bet?

Meantime I’m wondering, why am I getting so impatient… At least I’ve finished another post which was scheduled last week ;)

Insommnia

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There’s this song on my mind by Faithless called Insomnia where he sings

I’m wide awake in my kitchen

It’s black and I’m lonely

Oh, if I could only get some sleep

Creeky noises make my skin creep

I need to get some sleep

I can’t get no sleep….

This is what it has been like for me, ever since I’ve been ill in December last year. I had a really bad flu for two weeks in a row with a high fever. The result of this was that I would be asleep during the day most of the time. Well at least the first couple of days. It completely messed up my sleep pattern so most of the time I’m either wide awake till five or six in the morning or I’ll fall asleep, wake up a couple of hours later and can’t fall asleep again… It’s really utterly annoying!

In February this year I became ill again for another three weeks and thus the cycle continued until now. It’s something that has reoccured over the years but for different reasons. For example tonight I feel like my head is spinning and I can’t seem to stop the endless stream of thoughts that is going thru my mind. I was out last night having a few drinks with some friends at the pub. And I ended up talking with one of them about my start-up business and my jewellery designs.

He was so enthusiastic about the things I told him, the ideas I have that it has been stuck on my mind ever since. And not just him, others were very enthusiastic as well when I showed them the pictures on my cell phone. Also my idea about the crockery was received in a very positive way. The guy even offered me a free advert in this glossy that he works for as a photographer, worth 40.000 euros. Of course seeing is believing, but it got me thinking altogether. And here I am, still thinking…

Of course it got me thinking since lately everything points to the same direction which is that I should quit my job and do what I love doing. My day job hasn’t given me any satisfaction for years already. It’s just a job to get the money in and not something I can be passionate about. Hence the lack of sleep tonight. Well I’d better try to get rid of the thought stream now and try to get some sleep instead!