I was surprised to see how the ex was upset when I told him about the arrangements I’d made. I’m dividing stuff between us, I don’t really have to but I’m giving away things I don’t need and so I have to ask questions and see if he’s okay with the way I arranged it or if he wants me to change it. Just the fact that I had to ask these questions caused sadness and hurt on his face and when I asked him what was wrong he turned away and said: ‘nothing…’
I guess it only just now starts to dawn on him, the realisation that something is becoming so final while it had been final to him for a couple of years already or at least he thought it was. I’ve been through all of that the moment he told me about his decision at the time. I’m only doing what is necessary to get those parts of my life back that I’ve lost along the line, that I’ve given up on when I was told it wasn’t important enough to keep.
So my approach is a different kind, I try to keep things in balance without getting too emotional. It’s almost like the roles are swapped… perhaps he did learn something over the years or is no longer afraid to show true feelings. I don’t know… I know I was surprised to see emotions that I’ve not seen before. Some things are not easy for me either but I’m looking ahead and see what is waiting for me at the horizon: a clean slate, a new beginning.
As you said, maybe he is now realising that your decision is becoming a reality, that you are now moving on.
I don’t know the person but maybe he was secretly happy to feel that he still had you there because you hadn’t taken the decision you’ve taken now and which basically means that you go on with your life and are ready for a new beginning full of adventures and opportunities…and that he is not part of that new reality.
I can imagine these are tough moments for you…my humble advice: Keep strong and focused
You’re partly right
The decision was a mutual one and has been made a while ago but now that the time has come, the realisation still comes unexpectedly and in weird ways. It’s something you can’t really prepare for until the moment is there and I guess that’s what shows.
It’s not easy but it’s something that needed to be done. I guess I’m just surprised to see that it still has such an affect on the other person, I wasn’t expecting that, since he was the one who decided to end it.
Focused yes… I have been for two years already
This is a very important move and it’s nice that he still cares, and that you’re able to remain calm and focused. Sounds very responsible, mature, and respectful.
In my opinion, it’s the best approach to take, and not an easy one to do!
P.S. The Big Dipper says hi to you, too!
Yes it is important and necessary… I had enough time (two years) to distance myself and deal with emotions and become friends which has not always been easy but I was forced to look ahead at the time and I still am
Thanks for you sweet comment and welcome back!
PS it must be great to see the Big Dipper while dozing off, hope you slept well and no bugs bothering you