‘According to trend watchers, defriending will be the trend. Large numbers of people will delete vague acquaintances from their networking sites, such as Facebook, and Linkedin, because they only want to keep quality contacts. It has to do with slowing down, the need for quality time, and perhaps some network site fatigue, according to all sorts of trend blogs, which seem to echo each other.’
I just read the above snippet in an online newspaper, it confirms my feeling about the whole networking issue. I’ve mentioned in a previous post that someone refuses to reply to a friendly email that I’d sent responding to the invitation that I received from the same person. In the meantime I’ve sent another email making her aware of her non-responsive manners. I told her that it’s okay if she doesn’t want to stay in touch but that I’d like to know where I stand. So far no reaction… I was assertive but friendly so obviously the next friendly thing to do is to defriend her from the network.
I’ve always seemed to look for excuses or reasons to justify other people’s behaviour but I’ve learnt over the last few weeks that the only way to find out what’s on a person’s mind is to be clear about things and be straightforward, in other words assertive. I’m not used to being assertive and I have put myself in situations that became utterly frustrating because of this. I take full responsibility and I can’t blame others for misreading my mixed signals. I’ve changed my ways, since it didn’t make me happy having to deal with the consequences and I’ve noticed that it started to bear fruit!
If I can get rid of clutter in boxes than I should definitely be able to get rid of the clutter in my social life. The other situation seems to be slightly improving as well although I’m reluctant to trust this person to keep her promise and pay me back my money. The good thing is that if there’s no progress soon that I’ve collected enough facts to see a solicitor over time and trust me, I will… the friendship is finished as far as I’m concerned. It hurts in a way, because I’ve know this person for a long time but she broke my trust many times over the last three year so it’s best for me to let go and move on.
I have some exciting news but it’s all depending on a few circumstances so I’m going to be a bit cautious. I’ve had to deal with so many disappointments that I’ve decided not to mention anything until there is some real results. That way I won’t have expectations and I won’t disappoint myself if things are canceled once again. One has to do with a possible job offer the other has to do with a new study that I’ll start and a future plan I’m working on that involves a partner in crime… I’ve teamed up with someone but it’s all still very fresh so we have to discuss the details and plan soon.
If all goes well, I will let go of the old career slowly while preparing for the new career. I’ll have a meeting on the 8th of June to see if the study is what I expect it to be. If so, than I’ll need to prepare a case to make sure that I’ll get the funding. I have a lot of work to do in the next couple of months but it feels good to be working on my future… it does! I already met some really nice people who offered help even when I didn’t ask, they just did… Those are the kind of people I’d like to surround myself with, people who appreciate you for who you are, quality contacts and possible friends…
It all starts to bear fruit!
© Dreamstime – Mouthwatering
Seems that I’m such a trend follower, I just deleted 100 facebook ‘friends’ the other day. I still do have acquintances there, but at least they’re people I like and I’m interested in. The whole networking thing just created so many problems we didn’t have before… Who’s your friend? Are you in a relationship? Is it complicated? Ugh.
Your story reminds me of something which recently happened to me. A guy I was involved with deleted me from facebook, so I sent him a message saying that although I didn’t exactly expect to stay in touch with him, I didn’t understand his reasons for deleting me as if nothing ever happened at all. I wanted some sort of an explanation. What did I get? No answer, but a new friend request. Oh yeah, that’s exactly what I was going for… not.
Oh, well done for taking action!
Yes I so agree with you with regard to the problems it can create: weird thing is that people expect you to network here and think you’re the odd one out if you don’t. Especially work related: they expect you to find jobs and such through networking… *raises one eyebrow*
I personally think it’s a big waste of my time although I tend to leave a message every now and then coz some are genuinely interested in me and don’t have time to call or live abroad and can’t afford to call. I keep it small on purpose, they’re -like you mentioned as well- people who really care, I really don’t need 500+ fakes that don’t give a shit.
Good for you that you asked him why he did that, I guess the fact that he can’t even be bothered to tell you his reasons should be enough proof to you what he is about and what his intentions are. It might be best to just ignore him