The only time where I actually feel alive is when I dare to take risks, embrace the real me and stand out in the crowd, and be the strong woman that I am!

~Zesty Gal

I wrote this ten days ago… I’m in deep thinker’s mode again and didn’t feel like writing a post at all: I just had/have too much on my mind and I needed quiet and peace. There’s a lot going on lately but it feels kinda negative in a way -although I know it isn’t- but I’m not sure if I’d like to write about it. Perhaps it’s just my own perception of things, I don’t know. And so I needed to write down the above to remind me of my quest and the core of me, Zesty Gal…

In another post I wrote that I don’t know where I’m heading, that I have no idea what I want with my life. But I do know what I want actually and in order to get there I need to take certain steps because what I want is going to take time to accomplish. It’s a long-term plan that needs nurturing each day which is the fun part because it doesn’t need to be much; an hour a day or perhaps two would be sufficient; more would be brilliant and speed things up.

I’ve been taking notes, did lots of research online, read and collected info. And the more I read, the more time I spend on this project, the more enthusiastic I feel. I’ve only told three people of my plan: their reactions were extremely positive. A few heard the non-detailed general version of the plan and immediately some attempt to slag me off and discourage me. But the harder they try the more convinced I am that this project is what I should be doing!

So I’ve set up a frame for a business plan: if I do things in a clever way I should be able to finance it all myself and wouldn’t have to apply for a loan but I still have to balance all the figures and write it down to get an overview. This is what I’m currently working on while I’m also looking for ways to have the designs produced on a small scale and keep an eye on the costs at the same time. But… like I said earlier, this is a long-term plan evolving over time…

The short-term plan however is something completely different: I’ve met up with a career coach who suggested that I should take a so-called competency test to figure out what my strong points are. I can hear you think but it’s something I like to do to: I don’t see myself sitting at a desk typing letters all day or be extremely nice to people while instead I really feel the urge to tell them to you-know-what… Although I wouldn’t say no to the job if I have to.

Truth is I need some kind of job although I have no idea what I would like to do but it should be something creative and constructive. So I haven’t put all my eggs in one basket: my approach is one from many angles with many possibilities. China is still in the picture but a dormant possibility until I hear from them again and so are other options I’ve been working on lately. October 1st, I will attend an event involving more job opportunities.

There are things in the pipeline but it all is extremely time-consuming. In the meantime I also nurse an 80 year old mother who had a malignant tumor removed last Tuesday. That involves: a complete household, cooking, cleaning, groceries plus visits to hospitals and looking after her… Not something I had in mind but I guess it’s what the Universe wants me to pay attention to until the moment things start to fall into place for me.

And I really hope that moment will come soon, patience is a trait that not many Capricorns have unfortunately…