Night ‘n Gale

I was kept awake half the night because of this singing that came in through the open window. It seemed to move from place to place and at some point it was very nearby… The first time I ever heard this song was in the south of France, sitting outside in the chilly dark night sipping my hot coffee. And I remember how surprised I was because it was pitch-black out there and normally in springtime everything would be quiet except for the odd sound of some lost sangliers, digging their noses in fresh soil looking for roots and insects. They would scream at times, a horrible sound that could easily scare you if you’re not familiar with it.

But that time it was different, les sangliers were not around, les cigales stopped vibrating their membranes and were probably hiding for the night and it had been quiet for some time until the song started. I was wondering why that would happen that late at night while most other similar species would be quiet and asleep around that time. It seemed strange to me and I didn’t understand. Nevertheless it was wonderful to listen to and absolutely intriguing. So when I went to bed, I kept listening on and off during the night while I tried to get some sleep as well. The next morning I found out that the song I had been listening to belonged to the Nightingale.

Of course I heard about the Nightingale but I had never actually hear him sing until that night in France and I only then realised why he was named like that. So last night the English version was sitting nearby in one of the gardens communicating with another one that I could hear respond in the distance after a few seconds. And that was the odd thing: these birds were still out there singing while there was a serious 60mph gale going on [force 10]… So serious that I woke up later that night and was forced to close the window. How could they ever sit in a tree in a storm like that and sing their songs all night as well? They didn’t seem bothered at all…

And I was thinking: ‘they probably don’t know any better, they just do what they’re supposed to do which is singing…’ ‘No matter what type of weather it is they won’t be distracted, they stay focused on the one thing that they’re supposed to be doing.’ So I pictured the one nearby, sitting on his branch, holding on to it firmly, while the storm is trying extremely hard to blow him away. And he’s just there, not scared at all but facing the storm while singing his brave song, totally ignoring what is going on around him. And while I pictured that, I said to myself: ‘I think that Nightingale is trying to teach you a valid lesson, perhaps… you should pay attention…’

© E. Dulac, The Nightingale

Mum’s Letter

I received a letter from my mum today. I admire her strength because even though she has rheumatoid arthritis she still writes and sends me letters every now and then. There’s been very little communication between my mum and me for years because there was no trust. I always felt like I couldn’t honestly say what I wanted to say. I did once tell her how I felt about things after my father passed away and she hung up on me. I tried many times but it doesn’t seem to work so I gave up in a way. What’s the point if someone refuses to listen to you or literally ignore you or what you are trying to tell them?
Ever since I moved to the UK, I have been sending her little surprises, a nicely wrapped gift box with over a hundred pictures in them, I’ve printed them and cut them myself. Each set of pictures wrapped in nice golden tissue paper along with a very long detailed letter. I’ve sent her another parcel on her birthday in February and ordered a book for her which was delivered the next day. So I make sure I’ll send her those little messages of appreciation and I try not to have any expectations in return.
So each time a letter gets in I’m eager to open it and read it. She was very positive in this letter and she told me she was happy with the set of pictures I sent her for her birthday and the beautiful book. She feels lonely ever since my father passed away and is having a hard time moving on, it will be five years ago this October. I can relate to her loneliness and deep down I hope she will find the strength to move on and leave the past for what it is, it is only holding her back and making her feel miserable. I’m not allowed to tell her, it upsets her.
So whenever I write her back I always emphasise her strength, because I do admire her strength. I guess she is just too insecure to realise what power she holds within. So I won’t stop sending her little tokens of love and appreciation, no matter what she does with them. Hopefully one day she will be able to set her self free from her past and everything related to that so she can enjoy life as it is… and truly live.