Tag Archives: Friend

Primary Reunion

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The other day I checked in on my FB profile -the one that I don’t visit that often- and to my surprise I’d received two messages from people I haven’t seen or been in contact with for a long long long time: I’m talking primary school… I opened message one, because I was curious to read it, both messages were from different girls (or should I say women ;) ) that I used to be friends with at some point early in my life. The other message, message two, I left unopened for a while. This one was from a girl I used to be friends with from the age of seven or eight(?) until 13. To be honest I didn’t feel like opening that message as I was expecting the usual blah blah anyway. The other one was somehow more interesting to me.

She wrote me about a primary school reunion that she is organising, they’ve found everyone except me and if I was the person in the picture, that she was looking for. Of course I could’ve left it at that but I didn’t, I replied to her message. The moment I received her second message I felt some kind of regret about sending that first reply. She was asking the usual: how are you doing, what have you been up to, are you married, do you have children? etc. Of course I was expecting these kind of questions and I didn’t mind answering some of them but then I realised the moment I would make her my FB friend, more requests would come in and I’d have to answer the same unimportant nonsense again and again.

I had a look at her profile page and noticed each and every classmate from back then, in her friends list. Also the one boy I had a major crush on, I remember I went to the beach with his parents, him and his younger brother. When we arrived back at their appartment in the evening, his mum asked me to take a shower before dinner, to rinse all the sand and dirt off. It was a bit of an odd situation for me. His parents were extremely nice people, especially his mum. She braided my hair when I got out of the shower. I guess I must have been the daughter she never had ;) But just the fact that I had butterflies in my stomach whilst being around this boy all day long was something special that I remember to this day.

But I also noticed the girl -one of a pair actually- who came from a questionable family (it was rumoured at the time that her mum was a public woman). They were common people, she was friends with another girl and both lived in the same estate, were quite heavy, already used too much makeup at that age and weren’t popular. These were the type of girls you weren’t supposed to hang out with. I remember they were also quite the bullies at school, potty-mouthed and often looking for a fight. And I remember one time where they were picking on me -just out of sight- around the corner of the playground. I punched her right in the face, which she didn’t expect of course… Bullying problem solved for ever!

There are more stories of course, but does it really matter? I’ve replied to the first message and said to her that I’m not keen on reunions. The truth is that I wonder what the hell I’m supposed to tell these people who are desperately holding on to a few memories of the past. Most I can’t even remember because I was so young and so green at the time, a child. What’s the point of meeting up again after so many years knowing that I’ll probably have nothing in common with any of them. Is it their curiosity speaking? Do they expect me to add them all to FB just like that because of something we’ve shared ages ago *don’t thinks so!*? I’ve moved on, I’m not that child anymore, I’m an adult with an adult life now.

I really don’t see the point in meeting up to tell them how successful I’ve been over the past decades, how much I earn a year, how many kids I have, how many times I’ve been married and tell them by the end of the night ‘sure… we’ll keep in touch’… Something that will obviously never happen otherwise it would’ve happened already. There will be nothing to relate to. Absolutely nothing. It’s been too long. I was a child at the time still figuring out how to memorise twenty words for the test on Wednesday whilst my mind wandered off, counting down the minutes to the lunch break at noon. My bubble was small but large enough to hold everything dear to me and I still like to keep it that way, plain and simple.

The second message was from one of my closest friends at the time. She wrote about how long it has been (I know; things happen for a reason…) and how she would like to stay in touch again. She approached me because of the same reason, that reunion. Funny thing is that I will attend a reunion in June this year, only because some friends asked me to please come and yes they are still my FB friends nowadays. It’s organised by the school I attended where I studied graphic design. Yes I had doubts but this reunion seems more realistic somehow. The doubts are about the whole reunion thing in general, because I don’t feel the need to add all the extra noise to my life while I’m already juggling on a daily basis.

I guess it is a ‘to be continued…’ ;)

Cheshire Cat

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Earlier I called the dentist because I have an appointment this month but I couldn’t remember the right date and time. When I did, I realised something I’d forgotten about since the last time I went to the dentist about half a year ago. Before I’d left to live in London for three years I had a very good dentist. Whilst living in London I had found another good dentist but when I’d moved back to the Netherlands my former dentist in Amsterdam was no longer there, the practice had closed and I had no records or anything nor was there any information about what had happened to the practice and dentists in the meantime. So I had to look for another one which is difficult in Amsterdam, as there are many bad dentists.

I’ve always been lucky with regard to my teeth, they’re strong, clean and I haven’t had cavities in ages. The dentist I had whilst growing up was an extremely bad one. He once filled two ‘cavities’ that weren’t real cavities in order to claim insurance money. I just knew he was lying because I’d never had any and he always told me everything was fine. Plus these fillings were on either side of my jaw on the exact same spots, well hidden when I’d smile. Because I didn’t have any problems until my 18th, my insurance would cover extra treatments (like xrays and fluoride therapy) that he was supposed to give which he never did. I suspect he just kept claiming insurance money since he’d renovated his practice.

The dentist in the UK was a very good one, he took xrays for the first time in ten years. I had to pay for treatments but I was fine with that, I would never cut down on expenses dentist-wise, what needs to be done needs to be done. These treatments were not that expensive anyway so all was good until I moved back to the Netherlands. Back then I postponed looking for one. I’d asked around to see if some of my friends could recommend their dentist but none of them were really suitable, either due to location or expenses until one of my friends recommended hers to me which was nearby and extremely good. She had a lot of dental issues in the past so when she tells me hers is good than I believe her instantly!

I called the practice and was very happy to hear I could make an appointment after office hours, which is normally not the case. Unfortunately -because I had been putting things off- I did have one cavity which had grown for about five years, in a very unpleasant spot: just below my gum all the way in the back and difficult to reach. I had to come back another day to have it filled. A few weeks later it was done, it felt weird for a while because it took forever for the anesthetic to start working. Also the dentist probably had drilled too close to the root so I couldn’t bite on the left side without experiencing severe pain and had to chew really slow in order to avoid putting pressure between upper and lower molar.

This pain didn’t go away after a month and half so I called the dentist again, he told me the pain would either disappear -which could take weeks, months or even years- or stay forever… If that was the case, the root had been damaged and needed to be taken out; my worst nightmare. Here I am, happy about finally finding the right dentist and then having a serious issue all of a sudden which I’d never had before. I agreed with the dentist that I would wait half a year, until the next checkup, so see what would happen. So this morning when I called about the appointment I suddenly realised that the pain is almost nearly gone after over six months. The moment I realised, I was grinning and smiling like the Cheshire Cat!

Let’s hope it stays this way :D