Tag Archives: Dream

Step One

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Finally… having patience is starting to pay off because I’ve received some wonderful news yesterday. I’ve been invited to meet up on Monday morning to be part of a group of people who will be given the opportunity to study and work at the same time. This in itself is nothing new because there are quite a few possibilities to accomplish the same.

In this case however, the government and a few other organisations expect a lack of psychiatric nursing staff in the next three years so they have invested money in a special project to train people. It means that the required study which would normally take four years will be taught in three years instead, starting with a three months crash course.

After the crash course you’ll be working four days a week and attend school on the fifth day for the next three years to get a bachelor degree. My goal is a master degree because I’d like to finish the psychology study that I started years ago. At the time -causing disagreements- I was forced to stop because of an unwilling/unsympathetic partner.

I’m really looking forward to start the study and try to get another degree. My personal situation and this recession have forced me to think about my future in a creative way. I’ve been lucky to have turned a hobby into a career at the time, but things have changed and I’ve come to the conclusion that I need a career that will provide for the next twenty years.

Don’t get me wrong, there will be side projects and I will never give up on the creative part of me. In fact I’m still working on the long-term business plan which involves design and that along with the webdesign business will be the creative outlet that I’ll be needing to keep things interesting in that area. I’ll need that outlet because it’s part of who I am.

Although I’m totally committed and enthusiastic to make this application work for the next three to seven years it will still be ‘a way to pay the bills‘ and live a comfortable life. I’ve to choose security over current instability, people are still getting laid off and no one knows what’s gonna happen next but it doesn’t mean I’ll be giving up on creativity, far from it!

There are more steps planned ahead but for now I’m taking one at a time because that one step will cause a chain reaction once I’ll be on a roll and I’m getting all excited thinking about what lies ahead. It seems I’m finally about to get that long deserved break *wink*

Cycle Of Changes

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There will be a lot of change over the next two months and that’s why I have been quiet: I feel the need to think. I’ve been at a crossroad and this time I’ve chosen to turn right instead of full speed ahead. I have had many thoughts spread out on the floor in front of me and they all needed their place in their own tiny drawer, carefully put away after contemplation.

I’ve made a decision some time ago and I’ve come to terms with it realising that change is something that should be embraced and celebrated no matter how scary. As the perfectionist Goat I tend to label and reflect certain things as disappointments or even failure but while I was going through each and every thought in a drawer, I realised there is no such thing.

I’ve tried and I’ve succeeded in many ways, the outcome was not what I expected it to be so yes disappointment is inevitable but I should focus on what I’ve accomplished not on pointless expectations. I’ve accomplished a lot and others had to and have reminded me of that many many times when I was too stubborn and not ready to admit or see.

I’m putting things behind me and I’m moving on, the thoughts are in their drawers, secure and locked away, neatly organised as they should be. And while I was in the middle of this process, another one started months ago already. I’ve been drawing and making notes in my Moleskine, keeping an eye on the list of things-to-do, in order to reach the new exciting goal I set myself.

It’s something I will be working on for the next couple of years, a dream and reality soon. Part of it is already taking shape whilst designing for a client, important contacts have been made in the UK, another part is taking shape in my head and the main part will evolve over time. Those who know about my plans are extremely enthusiastic, guess my own enthusiasm rubs off…

Ever since I made up my mind, things seem to find me without having to make an effort. It’s almost cynical how I’ve tried for nearly three years to make something work; putting all my time into it and now that I’ve made a decision to make a fresh start again and focus on that, all struggles seem to disappear and are replaced by new opportunities and challenges.

It all feels extremely good though, scary yes… but good. So while I’m contemplating some thoughts still, I’m celebrating others and embracing the idea of change, a clean slate, a fresh start, back to the source. I’m in sync with the cycle of nature’s own dynamics of death and rebirth, winter and spring… I hope I can keep this going for a while, it’s so rewarding!

Drawers of my mind