Tag Archives: Boundaries

Let Go…

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I wish we could’ve remained friends but that’s impossible coz I can tell there is still hurt, it is shown to me in different ways. I guess I’ve been misunderstood when I decided to move on and let go. Some things happened that I will not be able to forget. If you need someone, you expect someone to be there for you. I’ve learnt over the years, to turn into survival mode when your expectations are not met.

I’d give up hope and I’ll stop putting myself in a position where I depend on someone to be empathetic, understanding and/or supportive. I will show the world that I can take care of things myself and not stray from the path I’ve chosen to take. But once there, there is no easy turning back. I will not be able to trust again that easily. I’ve learnt over the years to fight my own battles with or without help.

In this case (and many others)… without…

I wasn’t willing to listen, just tired of fights and having to answer to everyone around me whilst they only felt the need to judge. I was tired of them telling me what to say, what to wear, what to eat, how to behave, what to feel. Tired being told what was best for me and all the so-called ‘good’ advice. So I took a course and learnt how to set my boundaries and how not to be used as a doormat.

I learnt how to be good to myself and nurture the needs that I have. It is still the hardest thing for me to do but I’m slowly getting there. But once there’s personal growth there’s also a possibility that you’ll outgrow others. I had to say goodbye to some because it became clear to me why they were still in my life and it wasn’t for the right reasons. I had to let go of them, I owed it to myself.

I failed tho, to make this one person understand my reasons why I had to do what needed to be done. If someone is not willing to let go and tries to hold on to something that is no longer there, there is no other option left than to cut the ties. It’s not what I wanted but how I was forced to in a way. This person is still not dealing with the facts, I can see pain, anger, frustration or worse: sarcasm.

It hurts if you know that you can’t do anything about it because they’re not willing to accept the truth or listen to what you have to say. So if you know you’re the cause of this, it might be a good decision to create distance and not get involved at all. It doesn’t make things easier tho. It’s something that needed to be done, I’m not proud of it but I hope that one day, my decision will be understood…

Effective Channeling

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March 2011 and I’m writing another post finally. I’ve been so focused on getting certain things done that I hardly had any time to write. Well, I chose not to since I’m trying to channel my energy in a more effective way. Getting there slowly though, hence the new post. There’s too many distractions still that I need to get rid off! Like people who won’t take ‘no’ for an answer and who keep nagging me. Don’t get me wrong, they can be nice but they are the kind of people who can drain all your goodwill if you’re not careful. The kind that does not respect your boundaries whenever you set them.

I mentioned deleting ‘friends‘ on FB in my previous post and how I was expecting an email reaction. Well I got it and another one about an hour ago from the same person. I’ve had really bad RSI along with bursitis *no good!* and I told this person that I didn’t want an endless email discussion because of the pain and yet… *wink* My boundaries are yet to be respected. The Dutch have a special word for that, it’s called ‘hardleers’ or obstinate. I’m now trying to hold back and not reply straightaway but instead wait till tomorrow evening. I can tell that I’m struggling to suppress the urge.

That’s what I’m like, I instantly need to get it out of my way and out of my system. I wonder why I feel I ‘have‘ to do this, coz really… I don’t (!!!). See what I mean? So we’re back to where we started: effective channeling of energy and this person is taking more than I’m willing to give. I think it’s going to be another lesson in being assertive but this time with a more persuasive and firm tone and no more than 30 words. The next will be reduced to two words only… *wink* (if there will be a next time). So let me write down what happened in the meantime and what I’ve been doing…

Ever since my previous post I’ve been actively working on my creative idea. I’ve done research and learnt lots by reading business forums: threads that are related to my subject: jewellery. I’ve come up with a unique idea and working on this has been utterly rewarding so far. I’ve been networking a lot and met new people who are enthusiastic and willing to help. I bought a book about online marketing *who would’ve thought*. Not the boring kind but a really interesting book that focuses on many of my questions. I’ve only just started though and I realise it’s going to take more hard work!

Of course there were some setbacks, it wouldn’t be good if there weren’t any. But it helped me change my ways and look for other options and solutions to get closer to my goal. Some sweet friends helped me and have sent me some items that I needed for my idea, all the way from Malta. It’s heartwarming! It feels wonderful to have that kind of support and I can’t even tell them yet what I’ll be using it for so I really really appreciate the gesture and their belief in me! This goat is on a rocky but interesting path and slowly climbing the mountain step by step. All I need now is tad more patience…