Chinese Doctor

To those who googled for ‘chinese doctor’ please read here how I ended up in hospital because of the herbal treatment, it took me three months to recover and I’m lucky to be alive; it caused a serious liver failure! Feel free to email me if you have any questions about this, the address is on the right.

I had a lot to organise and buy today, MvdM. is throwing his birthday party at Holland Park tomorrow where we’re supposed to have a champagne picnic followed by the unveiling of the Moet Mirage.

A cloud of moving light the size of a football pitch will be launched into the skies over Holland Park to mark the opening of London Fashion Week. London-based architect and artist Usman Haque will create the undulating installation from a thousand helium-filled balloons containing sensors and lights. It will be constructed on site next to the Holland Park Opera House and released as a plume into the sky as darkness falls on Sunday 16 September.

The commission is the idea of Fashion Week sponsor Moët & Chandon and takes its inspiration from the fashions of the 18th century, when Moët champagne was first imported into Britain. Moët will create a 21st century pleasure garden, including a carousel and banquet, in Holland Park for a party with 350 famous names from the world of fashion the same night.

The weather seems to be good and even warmer than today so it will be fun! I bought wine and will prepare some canapé [tiny wraps with smoked salmon, creme cheese and fresh dill] tomorrow morning. I better not forget to bring my camera because it will be a spectacle!

In the morning I went to the post office to collect a package, a record that I ordered a while ago. I then went to Spitalfields to get a voucher for MvdM. at All Saints, then to Atlantis, my favourite supplier to get some brushes for my aunt and an A3 folder to store some of my artwork to keep it neat. And then to Lakeside to buy groceries, a CD and a design magazine that I need to read to familiarise myself with English design and media. I had a look at some books but the only one they had in their computer system about freelancing seemed to have disappeared, all the others were either on accounting or starting up a business [business plans, funding etc.] and way too specialised. So I guess I will order something through Amazon.

While at Lakeside I decided to see a Chinese doctor since they have a branch there and I wanted a free consultation to see what was going on with my liver. What was supposed to be a ten minutes consultation turned into an hour altogether while getting acupuncture done. I have been to a Chinese doctor before when I was still living in the Lowlands and they’ve treated me twice for a period of about six months where I had to drink herbal tea twice a day to clean the liver. It was good because the first time I tried, the symptoms were gone for almost three years, second time was good as well but I had to stop at some point and never finished the treatment.

This time is different because they will treat me with a combination of the herbal tea and acupuncture. I never liked the idea of acupuncture although I’m not scared of needles I just never liked it. The doctor told me what was wrong, some things were just a confirmation of what I already know but it was good to hear. She also told me some new things which were kind of surprising but it all made perfect sense. She decided to do the acupuncture straight away and while I had to lie down for half an hour she prepared the tea bags for me. It’s a herbal tea that will have to brew for an hour, it will be strong and extremely bitter. I had it before and I really don’t like the taste of it. I had a choice though between pills and tea but since the tea seems to be more effective I was willing to give it another try.

The acupuncture needles caused a weird sensation, they went in by two centimetres and it wasn’t that bad to be honest, not what I expected. But after half an hour you can’t move, it starts to hurt. I tried to move one leg at some point and was in pain, also my left arm started to hurt and my right arm right after that. I couldn’t move it at all, it seemed paralysed which was quite weird and if I tried to move it it was again causing pain. After half an hour the doctor took the needles out and her assistant came in to tell me about the expenses. I knew this was going to be quite expensive [it was in the Lowlands] but she came up with a really really good discount [500 pounds less] so I couldn’t refuse: I will have to pay for the tea but I will get the acupuncture for free. It means I will have to have the acupuncture done once a week for the next 20 weeks and in the meantime drink the herbal tea.

The doctor told me I should look after myself, yes it’s expensive but it’s worth it, she said you’re beautiful you deserve this and you’ll have to take good care of your health. Which was a very nice thing to say and I felt flattered. She didn’t speak English very well but the smile on her face was genuine… So I signed up for this course and paid the money up front. I will have to cut down on certain things, no shrimps, one coffee a day and no alcohol *hehe*. I will skip tomorrow and start drinking the tea on Monday. She also promised me that once the problem is dealt with it won’t come back… I hope she’s right because this has been bothering me for years and become worse over the last two to three years, if it takes 5 months to heal and won’t come back, then it has been worth it!

Although I still have sore spots on my arms and legs and I’m dealing with side effects [headache] I have to say, I felt kinda desperate lately but today has definitely given me hope and will be another step in getting my confidence back…

The room

Needles in legs

Needle in left arm

Needle in right arm

Still smiling but it did hurt…

Chinese Medicine

Traditional Chinese Medicine [TCM] has existed for over 4000 years and is a comprehensive medical system with its own principles, diagnostic methods and therapies. TCM views the body as an organic whole with a network of meridians connecting and coordinating the internal organs, Qi (vital energy) blood, body fluids, muscles, bones, tendons and the skin.

TCM also holds as its central belief that health in all parts of the body is due to the relative balance of Yin and Yang. Yin-Yang theory forms the basis of TCM’s holistic approach to health and disease and also offers practical guidance in the prevention and management of diseases. The aim of Chinese Herbal Medicine and Acupuncture is to regulate the meridians or channels of the body to unblock the stagnation of Qi, as it believes that disease is caused by these energy blockages within the body.

The channels are related to the internal organs, which if out of balance is another important factor in the cause of disease. Chinese Herbal Medicine and Acupuncture are used to correct this imbalance. Chinese Medicine is therefore a truly holistic form of medicine, aiming at treatment of the whole body rather than just the symptoms.

Friday Blues

While some things are going great other things don’t seem to be going well and I find myself having Friday Blues… Just wishing Friday would be over in the blink of an eye. I guess part is caused by the fact that I’m just extremely tired, I didn’t sleep well last night and I feel totally drained. There’s a lot going on at the moment. I received a letter from my mum and didn’t read it until this morning. I put it aside for a reason and I guess I should’ve been more cautious. Just another thing on the pile of unfinished business that needs to be sorted…

Along with the daily fact of having to walk on eggshells because I can’t seem to do anything right… I so wish things were different. I so wish I could be myself again, not being afraid of speaking up. Everything I say these days seem to turn into nastiness and I’m treated in an obnoxious way. I wish I had a place to myself so I could feel peaceful again, not having to worry about time, rushed by time. Working hours seem to have become the only period during the day where I can be myself without being bothered.

I was so close in having it all started until I found out last Friday that I needed to arrange one more thing in order to get there, actually the most important thing of it all. And because I didn’t trust my own gut feeling which I should have, I am once again in a position I don’t want to be in because I was told the untruth and I believed it instead of myself. My aunt explained to me the other day that because I’m becoming independent it will cause friction, because I no longer ‘need’ the other person to help me out. She’s right, it’s showing. The more I try to get my life back the more friction it seems to cause…

How I wish for some stability, while I realise that the only constant in life is change. I am working on things but progress seems to be so slow at times and its wearing me down. I was told a lot of things over the last few weeks, things that are not good for one’s self-esteem and if I’m not cautious and let go of this I will have to start all over again. There are once again more questions than answers and hurt starts to show. I seem to hit the panic button too often these days causing myself to be confused about people who deserve better than that and not knowing what to do next, how to tell them what is really on my mind… Guess I’m too scared…

When is this freaky merry-go-round going to stop?

[snippet taken from A. Keys]:

Can you take it away?

This pain in my heart that just follows me by day

And at night stalks me like the shadows on my wall

It feels like the world is closin’ on me

It feels like my dreams will never come to me

I keep on slippin’ deeper into myself

And I’m scared, so scared

Why does it feel that my mind is constantly trying to pull me down

I can’t seem to get away

Continuous mistakes I know I’m able for

How long will I feel so out of place