Category Archives: Expat Life

Last Minute Chaos

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I’m racing against time lately and it’s not because I don’t have enough time, it’s because I’m managing it in a bad way due to the fact that I have so much to do and I have no list on paper -just in my head- causing it to short-circuit every now and then. I have exactly four weeks from today before I’ll be moving countries so once again I’m packing. I’m so tired of crap, I’m throwing out even more; most went to charity already and half of my books went to a friend here in London, I kept the ones in English (which is still too many *hehe).

I already started a while ago but every time I move I realise I should cut down dramatically. I’ve moved about 12 times since I was eighteen but the problem is that whenever one moves to a bigger place the more crap one collects and my last apartment in Amsterdam was twice the size of a regular one there. So these days I only buy things that I’ll actually use and give away what I don’t need. No useless nick-nacks collecting dust and no more books either unless they’re related to design. If it’s not functional and if I don’t use it it will be binned…

I don’t want clutter to rule my life, it’s causing chaos, is utterly distracting and will only take up space in my home, my studio and my mind. So while I’m packing I’m making a conscious decision to let go and throw out things especially the things that I feel I ‘might need’ one day. Because to be honest, that day never really came so far. In the meantime I’ve been meeting up with friends in the city to say goodbye for now. One friend -a programmer- has some projects coming up and he needs my help design-wise.

Like I mentioned in my previous post, I’m showered with requests lately: all of a sudden people want me to do their design projects. This Wednesday I’ll have to meet up with the accountancy firm, they want a brochure with the same design as the website I did a while ago where people can book online courses. There’s more last-minute things that clients need all of a sudden but I was able to put them off until after the move and when I’ll be back online again. I’m lucky that my line of work could be done from anywhere!

I’m sweeping the rooms of my life and it feels good to get rid of all the dirt, cobwebs and the skeletons that I wasn’t allowed to take out of their cupboard before. It’s May and I’m doing a total spring-clean. Aah, what bliss to embrace the changes and watch them evolve gradually in such a positive way. What a great season to start again…

Cycle Of Changes

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There will be a lot of change over the next two months and that’s why I have been quiet: I feel the need to think. I’ve been at a crossroad and this time I’ve chosen to turn right instead of full speed ahead. I have had many thoughts spread out on the floor in front of me and they all needed their place in their own tiny drawer, carefully put away after contemplation.

I’ve made a decision some time ago and I’ve come to terms with it realising that change is something that should be embraced and celebrated no matter how scary. As the perfectionist Goat I tend to label and reflect certain things as disappointments or even failure but while I was going through each and every thought in a drawer, I realised there is no such thing.

I’ve tried and I’ve succeeded in many ways, the outcome was not what I expected it to be so yes disappointment is inevitable but I should focus on what I’ve accomplished not on pointless expectations. I’ve accomplished a lot and others had to and have reminded me of that many many times when I was too stubborn and not ready to admit or see.

I’m putting things behind me and I’m moving on, the thoughts are in their drawers, secure and locked away, neatly organised as they should be. And while I was in the middle of this process, another one started months ago already. I’ve been drawing and making notes in my Moleskine, keeping an eye on the list of things-to-do, in order to reach the new exciting goal I set myself.

It’s something I will be working on for the next couple of years, a dream and reality soon. Part of it is already taking shape whilst designing for a client, important contacts have been made in the UK, another part is taking shape in my head and the main part will evolve over time. Those who know about my plans are extremely enthusiastic, guess my own enthusiasm rubs off…

Ever since I made up my mind, things seem to find me without having to make an effort. It’s almost cynical how I’ve tried for nearly three years to make something work; putting all my time into it and now that I’ve made a decision to make a fresh start again and focus on that, all struggles seem to disappear and are replaced by new opportunities and challenges.

It all feels extremely good though, scary yes… but good. So while I’m contemplating some thoughts still, I’m celebrating others and embracing the idea of change, a clean slate, a fresh start, back to the source. I’m in sync with the cycle of nature’s own dynamics of death and rebirth, winter and spring… I hope I can keep this going for a while, it’s so rewarding!

Drawers of my mind