Category Archives: Repatriation

On The Train

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I’ve been commuting for quite some time now. Each day I take the train and travel for nearly an hour and half when it’s a good day… On bad days it takes me almost two hours depending on circumstances like the weather, what time I leave and how busy the train is. Today it’s rather quiet and on days like this I quite enjoy the trip.

At times people annoy the hell out of me -I’m quite easily annoyed in the morning I must admit tho- especially when I’m not awake yet. People these days seem to forget that they’re sharing the same space. They’re not aware they’re having extremely loud conversations on the phone. They have a tendency to scream.

Either that or they try to impress others who can overhear the conversation. I still haven’t figured it out and to be honest I don’t want to know. To me it’s all about courtesy, discretion and keeping in mind that the space you’re in is not your own. But today is a good day… It’s quiet on the train. So quiet that I can hear myself think.

So quiet that I can concentrate on writing this post on my Samsung tablet -a gift- since I decided to use the time on the train in a productive but fun way. I’ve been postponing and neglecting writing for way too long and like I mentioned before I do miss putting my thoughts in order for a while now.

It’s an excellent way to relax and finally start updating this blog again. The only downside is that I do not get to see the amazing views in the morning. Views of frosty meadows and the bright yellow sunrise… I ain’t complaining though. I’m pretty sure that one day -probably too soon- the wonderful quiet won’t be there.

And I’ll be harshly disturbed by annoying cackling sounds of people who talk senseless unimportant stuff over their phones… Bless the ignorant ones… *just being the usual synical me*

Where to start?

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I guess… where I left off…

Much has changed since and much still continues to change. I’ve had a one-year contract offered after I’ve had a second interview and after I had to successfully complete an extremely difficult (IQ) test. But then the financial crisis hit this country again and I had to wait for a year until I got hired. I now have an indefinite contract and I’ve been with this company for over a year already. I have different roles for different projects at different companies. My last project started at the beginning of this year and will finish by the end of this month. They might extend the project so I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

I’ve been doing serious soul searching for a long time and found out that whenever I focus on something that I really want, I will get it. Life has been another rough ride in the meantime but I guess everyone has their ups and downs. I’m living in the city again that I once had left to move countries. I feel I have a love-hate relationship with it since I can’t get used to the crowded streets, the noise, the aggression and the egocentric attitude of most. At times I do not feel at home here at all but I guess that has to do with the fact that I had moved countries. I feel I don’t belong here and it’s a restless feeling.

Life made a 360 for me and I guess that had all to do with being focused on getting things back, start allover again from scratch and write a new chapter in a new book. But some chapters probably will remain the same even in a new book… I’ve received a letter a few days ago from someone dear to me, someone who has been there for me whenever I needed to talk to her. Someone who helped me when I had worries or when I couldn’t see a silver lining. The letter said she had been ill for two months, ill from chemotherapy since she had been treated for malignant bone cancer.

It came as a total shock to me and I guess I still am in shock in a way. I’m going to write a letter because I haven’t spoken with her in a year. I was too preoccupied (…) She doesn’t want people to call which I can understand. So writing(!) is the best I can do for now. I just didn’t find the right paper yet because I want it to be something special. Stuff like that makes you think and I mean really think… So that’s probably why I felt the need to write a first post again in years. I’ve had the urge for a while already but I kept postponing it. Silly -I know- but each time I tried, something got in the way and I had to set other priorities.

I really really needed the break and this is hopefully the start of that new chapter. More to come soon…