Category Archives: Journey

Primary Reunion

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The other day I checked in on my FB profile -the one that I don’t visit that often- and to my surprise I’d received two messages from people I haven’t seen or been in contact with for a long long long time: I’m talking primary school… I opened message one, because I was curious to read it, both messages were from different girls (or should I say women ;) ) that I used to be friends with at some point early in my life. The other message, message two, I left unopened for a while. This one was from a girl I used to be friends with from the age of seven or eight(?) until 13. To be honest I didn’t feel like opening that message as I was expecting the usual blah blah anyway. The other one was somehow more interesting to me.

She wrote me about a primary school reunion that she is organising, they’ve found everyone except me and if I was the person in the picture, that she was looking for. Of course I could’ve left it at that but I didn’t, I replied to her message. The moment I received her second message I felt some kind of regret about sending that first reply. She was asking the usual: how are you doing, what have you been up to, are you married, do you have children? etc. Of course I was expecting these kind of questions and I didn’t mind answering some of them but then I realised the moment I would make her my FB friend, more requests would come in and I’d have to answer the same unimportant nonsense again and again.

I had a look at her profile page and noticed each and every classmate from back then, in her friends list. Also the one boy I had a major crush on, I remember I went to the beach with his parents, him and his younger brother. When we arrived back at their appartment in the evening, his mum asked me to take a shower before dinner, to rinse all the sand and dirt off. It was a bit of an odd situation for me. His parents were extremely nice people, especially his mum. She braided my hair when I got out of the shower. I guess I must have been the daughter she never had ;) But just the fact that I had butterflies in my stomach whilst being around this boy all day long was something special that I remember to this day.

But I also noticed the girl -one of a pair actually- who came from a questionable family (it was rumoured at the time that her mum was a public woman). They were common people, she was friends with another girl and both lived in the same estate, were quite heavy, already used too much makeup at that age and weren’t popular. These were the type of girls you weren’t supposed to hang out with. I remember they were also quite the bullies at school, potty-mouthed and often looking for a fight. And I remember one time where they were picking on me -just out of sight- around the corner of the playground. I punched her right in the face, which she didn’t expect of course… Bullying problem solved for ever!

There are more stories of course, but does it really matter? I’ve replied to the first message and said to her that I’m not keen on reunions. The truth is that I wonder what the hell I’m supposed to tell these people who are desperately holding on to a few memories of the past. Most I can’t even remember because I was so young and so green at the time, a child. What’s the point of meeting up again after so many years knowing that I’ll probably have nothing in common with any of them. Is it their curiosity speaking? Do they expect me to add them all to FB just like that because of something we’ve shared ages ago *don’t thinks so!*? I’ve moved on, I’m not that child anymore, I’m an adult with an adult life now.

I really don’t see the point in meeting up to tell them how successful I’ve been over the past decades, how much I earn a year, how many kids I have, how many times I’ve been married and tell them by the end of the night ‘sure… we’ll keep in touch’… Something that will obviously never happen otherwise it would’ve happened already. There will be nothing to relate to. Absolutely nothing. It’s been too long. I was a child at the time still figuring out how to memorise twenty words for the test on Wednesday whilst my mind wandered off, counting down the minutes to the lunch break at noon. My bubble was small but large enough to hold everything dear to me and I still like to keep it that way, plain and simple.

The second message was from one of my closest friends at the time. She wrote about how long it has been (I know; things happen for a reason…) and how she would like to stay in touch again. She approached me because of the same reason, that reunion. Funny thing is that I will attend a reunion in June this year, only because some friends asked me to please come and yes they are still my FB friends nowadays. It’s organised by the school I attended where I studied graphic design. Yes I had doubts but this reunion seems more realistic somehow. The doubts are about the whole reunion thing in general, because I don’t feel the need to add all the extra noise to my life while I’m already juggling on a daily basis.

I guess it is a ‘to be continued…’ ;)

Slacker…

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I’ve been away for a while, I guess life caugth up with me over the past eight months. Things have been utterly hectic and weird lately in all aspects. My assignment finished in January this year, I was told the second week of December last year just when I was about to take my well-earned two weeks off. Because the board member -responsible for the web team and redesign of the government website- stepped down and removed herself from this project it was cast adrift all of a sudden. Never in my entire career have I faced a situation like this. I was stunned by the unprofessional ways this organisation was dealing with their employees, the repetitive mistakes and the arrogant attitude that came with it. It was like walking through a maze, not sure what to expect around each corner.

And so my assignment ended the day before my birthday, what a coincedence… In the meantime I’d already had two intakes at two different clients. The latter wanted another interview planned as soon as my assignment had ended. Then after I also had to give a presentation including answering questions, and once that was done they would decide if they wanted to take me on for this project. Five minutes after I had held my presentation, -I was on my way back to Amsterdam and just gotten on the train when I received a call- I was told that I was hired for the project. I was surprised because I didn’t know what to expect after giving this presentation to about fifteen people. I guess I must have left a good impression with at least half of the group or else they wouldn’t have hired me ;)

Things went all way too fast as I didn’t have a moment to relax and adjust to the new situation. Last time I was in between projects I had a few months where I could relax a bit, finish work-related administration, backup files and documents, and get my Mac ready for the next assignment. This time, I only had five days of which three were over the weekend. So yes things have been pretty hectic since and I’ve been juggling work, ‘me-time’ and the demands of daily life in general. It’s one of the largest projects I’ve worked on so far as it involves three levels of government, municipal, provincial and the water boards (the oldest government authorities in the Netherlands). This makes it all very complex, but at the same time it’s a really cool experience and a great opportunity to gain knowledge!

Then at the beginning of this month our department moved further south, so my already long distance commute doubled in km and time. It’s ok for now, the project is worth the trip but I’m not sure if I can keep up with this for a couple of years. I’m already told that if they’re happy with my skills and input, I could easily have this assignment extended to up to three to five years at least (…). I’m trying to get approval to work from home one day per week which will give me an extra two hours in the morning to catch up on sleep and I could do some chores during the day. Yup, I have been a total blog slacker but it has been out of my control all these months. Whenever I started to write I couldn’t finish due to a serious lack of time. I will try and write at least once a month and I’ll catch up when I can ;)