Category Archives: Journey

Jewellery Design

Posted on by

There’s progress and I’m fully enjoying the fact that there is. It means I’m taking time for myself to reach my goal, slowly but surely! I’ve been working on the jewellery designs lately. I’ve changed my way of thinking, since I wanted to test all options to see what I could do myself to lower the costs. It was fun to explore the possibilities but it took time, lots of time. And sure I want the basics right but I also promised myself to let go if needed.

I have changed from bronze, to silver, to pewter, to silver clay, to other kinds of clay. I even took a workshop using silver clay which was awesome. Only one option stood out though; tin. I’ve made a mold and have been casting myself which was great fun and a cool learning experience. But I’ve decided to leave things to the pro who can do a much better job than I can *hehe*. It saves me time although I will still do the polishing etc myself.

I know it must sound odd but that way I feel I’ve still been taking part in the process of design. Everyone can place orders, look around for materials to use, or have something made instead of putting your own effort in it. It’s simple and easy, but I don’t want simple and easy. I’d like to put my thought and creativity into each and every aspect of this design and try to make it my own. So I’d like to learn the different methods and craftsmanship.

It’s part of the fun and a way to explore what feels right and what doesn’t. Fact is that I’ve been holding on to the basics for way too long now. I’ve tried but couldn’t make up my mind about the materials. So when I finally found the tin option I was excited to look into it. I received a casting set for my birthday and built some trial setups to help me with the mold making and casting. I ran into a small problem though whilst exploring this.

The back didn’t completely fill up no matter what I adjusted; temperature, preheat the mold, powder the mold, drill a bigger hole etc. Because of this I decided to look for someone who could help, so I found a very nice lady who runs her own tin casting business. Funny thing is that she ran into the same problems as I did but of course she managed to finish my first order. This weekend I’ll be polishing and fixing all 30 items using my wireless Dremel.

I’m having a ball and I’m grateful for the fun it brings me. Ever since I’ve met the lady I’ve had a smile on my face thinking about where this is going to take me. She told me that to her, getting the opportunity to do something different and participate in a new challenge was extremely rewarding. So I guess I’ve met my match! She will be going to China this month to show the people there about her craftsmanship and I’m happy for her!

Once she’s back I’m planning on placing a second order with her :) But first things first: polishing…

Let Go…

Posted on by

I wish we could’ve remained friends but that’s impossible coz I can tell there is still hurt, it is shown to me in different ways. I guess I’ve been misunderstood when I decided to move on and let go. Some things happened that I will not be able to forget. If you need someone, you expect someone to be there for you. I’ve learnt over the years, to turn into survival mode when your expectations are not met.

I’d give up hope and I’ll stop putting myself in a position where I depend on someone to be empathetic, understanding and/or supportive. I will show the world that I can take care of things myself and not stray from the path I’ve chosen to take. But once there, there is no easy turning back. I will not be able to trust again that easily. I’ve learnt over the years to fight my own battles with or without help.

In this case (and many others)… without…

I wasn’t willing to listen, just tired of fights and having to answer to everyone around me whilst they only felt the need to judge. I was tired of them telling me what to say, what to wear, what to eat, how to behave, what to feel. Tired being told what was best for me and all the so-called ‘good’ advice. So I took a course and learnt how to set my boundaries and how not to be used as a doormat.

I learnt how to be good to myself and nurture the needs that I have. It is still the hardest thing for me to do but I’m slowly getting there. But once there’s personal growth there’s also a possibility that you’ll outgrow others. I had to say goodbye to some because it became clear to me why they were still in my life and it wasn’t for the right reasons. I had to let go of them, I owed it to myself.

I failed tho, to make this one person understand my reasons why I had to do what needed to be done. If someone is not willing to let go and tries to hold on to something that is no longer there, there is no other option left than to cut the ties. It’s not what I wanted but how I was forced to in a way. This person is still not dealing with the facts, I can see pain, anger, frustration or worse: sarcasm.

It hurts if you know that you can’t do anything about it because they’re not willing to accept the truth or listen to what you have to say. So if you know you’re the cause of this, it might be a good decision to create distance and not get involved at all. It doesn’t make things easier tho. It’s something that needed to be done, I’m not proud of it but I hope that one day, my decision will be understood…