There’s this song on my mind by Faithless called Insomnia where he sings
I’m wide awake in my kitchen
It’s black and I’m lonely
Oh, if I could only get some sleep
Creeky noises make my skin creep
I need to get some sleep
I can’t get no sleep….
This is what it has been like for me, ever since I’ve been ill in December last year. I had a really bad flu for two weeks in a row with a high fever. The result of this was that I would be asleep during the day most of the time. Well at least the first couple of days. It completely messed up my sleep pattern so most of the time I’m either wide awake till five or six in the morning or I’ll fall asleep, wake up a couple of hours later and can’t fall asleep again… It’s really utterly annoying!
In February this year I became ill again for another three weeks and thus the cycle continued until now. It’s something that has reoccured over the years but for different reasons. For example tonight I feel like my head is spinning and I can’t seem to stop the endless stream of thoughts that is going thru my mind. I was out last night having a few drinks with some friends at the pub. And I ended up talking with one of them about my start-up business and my jewellery designs.
He was so enthusiastic about the things I told him, the ideas I have that it has been stuck on my mind ever since. And not just him, others were very enthusiastic as well when I showed them the pictures on my cell phone. Also my idea about the crockery was received in a very positive way. The guy even offered me a free advert in this glossy that he works for as a photographer, worth 40.000 euros. Of course seeing is believing, but it got me thinking altogether. And here I am, still thinking…
Of course it got me thinking since lately everything points to the same direction which is that I should quit my job and do what I love doing. My day job hasn’t given me any satisfaction for years already. It’s just a job to get the money in and not something I can be passionate about. Hence the lack of sleep tonight. Well I’d better try to get rid of the thought stream now and try to get some sleep instead!