There will be a lot of change over the next two months and that’s why I have been quiet: I feel the need to think. I’ve been at a crossroad and this time I’ve chosen to turn right instead of full speed ahead. I have had many thoughts spread out on the floor in front of me and they all needed their place in their own tiny drawer, carefully put away after contemplation.
I’ve made a decision some time ago and I’ve come to terms with it realising that change is something that should be embraced and celebrated no matter how scary. As the perfectionist Goat I tend to label and reflect certain things as disappointments or even failure but while I was going through each and every thought in a drawer, I realised there is no such thing.
I’ve tried and I’ve succeeded in many ways, the outcome was not what I expected it to be so yes disappointment is inevitable but I should focus on what I’ve accomplished not on pointless expectations. I’ve accomplished a lot and others had to and have reminded me of that many many times when I was too stubborn and not ready to admit or see.
I’m putting things behind me and I’m moving on, the thoughts are in their drawers, secure and locked away, neatly organised as they should be. And while I was in the middle of this process, another one started months ago already. I’ve been drawing and making notes in my Moleskine, keeping an eye on the list of things-to-do, in order to reach the new exciting goal I set myself.
It’s something I will be working on for the next couple of years, a dream and reality soon. Part of it is already taking shape whilst designing for a client, important contacts have been made in the UK, another part is taking shape in my head and the main part will evolve over time. Those who know about my plans are extremely enthusiastic, guess my own enthusiasm rubs off…
Ever since I made up my mind, things seem to find me without having to make an effort. It’s almost cynical how I’ve tried for nearly three years to make something work; putting all my time into it and now that I’ve made a decision to make a fresh start again and focus on that, all struggles seem to disappear and are replaced by new opportunities and challenges.
It all feels extremely good though, scary yes… but good. So while I’m contemplating some thoughts still, I’m celebrating others and embracing the idea of change, a clean slate, a fresh start, back to the source. I’m in sync with the cycle of nature’s own dynamics of death and rebirth, winter and spring… I hope I can keep this going for a while, it’s so rewarding!
Drawers of my mind
What a cryptic entry… either way good luck with whatever might lie behind the crossroad, I’m sure your enthusiasm and willpower will take you where you need to go to.
Wow what an interesting though provoking post. I’m excited for you and I don’t know what it is! But I’m here for you to support you via words on a blog.
Hugs lady, you deserve the absolute best that the Universe offers.
Love Mon
Thanks, that is really sweet of you!
I can’t tell what I would like to tell, hence the secrecy 
It’s so cool I would like to scream it out loud but I can’t, for my own protection… I’ll be working on the project and will reveal more over time but for now it has to be hush-hush 
You’re a doll! Thank you too for your wonderful support, another sweet comment!
I wish I could say more but I guess you could read between the lines a bit 
I will reveal more over time
I’m about to enter a new chapter of many changes, one is a move, another needs to be hush-hush a bit longer until the project is starting to take shape, I’m at the research-and-learn-the-process-from-skilled-people phase still trying to take in and gather as much information as possible and get proper training 
But I can tell that it’s going to be extremely creative!
Very excited for you T.
It’s the best way to go ahead with the change in my opinion, thinking of our dreams and it’s unavoidable to become happy, excited, impatient 
Change is part of life and yes, sometimes it can be very scary but it’s important to try to embrace as a child would, that is full of excitement and expectations
Thanks deary *hug!*
You’re so right *as always* I feel like I’m about to wake up from a three years sleep… 
No more ‘hiding’ or a life shrouded in certain secrecy. Well… I just have one secret for now and that’s the project *hehe*
The child is already there, I can assure you
I’m eager to send you the results by snail mail, I will get the business card and letterhead in next week so I still have time to send it off to some people while I’m here. If you like send me your details through email k? 
Can you see me dance and jump up and down?
I can imagine how you are jumping and dancing
and I am sure the project will be a success 
We all need projects that make us feel fulfilled so we fight for them. I am maturing one at the moment and we’ll see 
I’ll let you know if it works (something humble but which will make me survive the 8-5 routine).
Yes, I will send you my detials by e-mail in a bit
Cheers
*hehe*
Thanks again Wen!
If you ever need help design-wise or a website let me know k? I would be happy to help you!
Now I’m curious about yours