I used to have a friend, a close friend, my best friend. We used to drive to the Belgian Ardennes to spend a week there in a log cabin or an abandoned hotel over wintertime to have a typical Belgian culinary week and some kayaking, to be away from Amsterdam city life for a few. We lived three minutes apart, we would crash at each other’s place, we used to perform in bands together and go to the usual hangouts for the jam sessions.
We were best friends for twelve years until my father ended up in hospital seven years ago. I was depending on people to drive me there because of the emotional turmoil: a 40 minutes trip by car but a 1.5 hour trip by train and bus. So I’d asked her help but she refused. She got pissed off with me over something unknown and made it clear that what she decided for me would be best for me. She’d more important things to deal with than taking me to the hospital.
A week later my father past away after being hospitalised for cancer for three months. My mum sent this best friend a ‘thank you’ card after the funeral because I asked her to. Two months later I sent her an email request to talk things out but got one line back saying: ‘not interested’. I wrote her it was okay and wished her well. Till this day, I’ve no idea what pissed her off at the time, I do know it wasn’t the first time she got all worked up about nothing.
Ever since I live in the UK she has been digging for info on me. She has checked my business website, googled me and asked a mutual friend to add her to her contacts list on this social networking website probably because she can then see non-hidden parts of my profile and what messages I’ve left for others, pictures etc. This issue has been on my mind again and I’ve been speculating about her reasons and what she’s trying to accomplish.
I’m curious to see what her next move will be and if she ‘dares’ to come even closer… Did I forgive her? Yes: I meant those ‘thank you’ words on that card and I wished her well. Would I listen to what she has to say? Yes, because telling her: ‘not interested’ would be too easy and I don’t do easy. Do I want her back in my life? Probably not… So for now, I’ll just let her have that glimpse of my life through that social website, I don’t really care.
Smooth rides are boring and I’ve run out of free ones, says the Capricorn in me… 
…
…I agree with you that perhaps the best thing would be to listen to her and find out what happened just to clarify things and be more at peace with that past…but I also agree with you that if I were in that position I wouldn’t “be interested” in having her back in my life…people move on and the persons that we were once might be very different to the ones we are now…or at least life circumstances…Apart from that someone as moody as that person…who knows if those mood swings or weird reactions wouldn’t happen again and be hurt again?
Hi Wen, oh I will ‘listen’ if she decides to contact me and I am totally at peace about that past, I’m just curious why she keeps getting closer and closer, guilt perhaps? The moment she sent me that ‘not interested’ email I’d accepted her decision, realising it would be something she had to live with, not me.
Yup you’re so right about the mood swings, she kicks and hurts everyone around her, it’s just a matter of time really. That time wasn’t the only time, she’d done it before but the above situation was the final straw. So I think I’ve made up my mind really, I just think it’s odd that after such a long time she is trying to get my attention again…
And for what reason?
Yes, it could be that she feels guilty about what she did and her one liner e-mail even if a long time has passed.
She better feel guilty, I can’t imagine not feeling awful after having treated someone like that (though I can’t even imagine treating someone like that). Maybe she’s just curious and doesn’t really want to talk and make things clear at all. People can be twisted. I suppose this all actually reminds me of an old “friend” I had, though our going seperate ways was completely mutual (me after finding out she’s a manipulating psycho who can’t wish any goodness to anyone but herself, her after finding out I’m not comfortable with her being a manupulative psycho LOL). Would I want to know about her life now? Yes, I’d deffinitely be curious, but I wouldn’t really want to talk to her, because I have nothing to talk about with her. But that’s an extreme, I’ve never met anyone with a mind as sick as hers. Anyway, I do agree that having a talk with your ex-friend if she suggests it would be the best thing to do, because some things really need a closure and one can’t close them on their own when they’re not knowing.
Last but not least, here our your interview questions
:
1) What was the most awkward date you’ve ever been on?
2) What personal accomplishment in your life are you most proud of?
3) Can music make you cry?
4) Do you have a pretty handwriting?
5) Do you prefer trains or buses?
I think you’re right, I think she is curious… but your ‘psycho’ remark made me realise that that has crossed my mind as well, since it seems to be repetitive behaviour. She has done something similar to a close friend and to the mutual friend. Yup she is twisted
Your ‘friend’ sounds kinda freaky: being manipulative could result in extreme behaviour, if the person doesn’t get what he/she wants from you. Unfortunately I’ve met quite a few like your ‘friend’. The tricky bit is that they seem ‘normal’ at first *LOL*.
Hmm, I find your view on ‘closure’ interesting… I’m gonna give that some more thought ‘one can’t close them on their own’ I think I did by sending her that farewell email, I have closed the door, found my resolution and moved on, I’ve let the past be the past. She is still holding on to it…
Thanks for your interview questions *hehe* that’s gonna be fun! I see you have been kind to me *LOL* Will post later today, thanks Bitter Chocolate
How completely strange. The part of getting angry at you and not saying why. Friends get angry/frustrated with one another – but that’s part of our lives. We sit down with the other person, talk it out… love eachother and go to a movie.
I’d say she’s curious. I guess. I can’t really say.
You are a very kind person – it’s a loss for someone to not have you as a friend.
Hugs pretty lady.
Yup I agree with you, that’s why I offered to talk it out but she wasn’t interested, I actually asked her twice and got the same response, but then again she behaves like this with others as well so I’m not really surprised.
Thanks Monica
you make me all radiant now 
Hugs back at you!