There’s something about certain expats that seems to push the wrong button at times. I’m registered with a few of these expat websites and every now and then I’ll pay them a visit and click links of other expats living either in London or Amsterdam [or elsewhere]. Just out of curiosity and in search of a bit of entertainment. This is how I met a few really nice people online who can be found in my expat list below. I started reading their blogs because there was something nice to read, a positive, friendly and non-quitter attitude.
Of course expats have a right to complain about certain things in their host country but when a person is only slagging off each and every single aspect of the host country then it causes question marks in my head. Especially if it is about the Lowlands or about the UK. I’m not patriotic, I left the Lowlands for a reason but I wouldn’t say it was that bad as some would want us to believe, same here in the UK. I feel that if you decide to move, you should adjust to the host country and try your utter best to integrate.
I read several blogs and was surprised to see how some are capable of posting one nasty complaint after another about the host country and praising their home country like it’s paradise on earth. Time for a wake-up call perhaps? I’m tempted to leave a comment asking why they don’t go back ‘home’ if they hate it that much, but I contain myself *most of the time*. Over the weekend I ended up on this website of an American family who’d moved to London, I read a post about Halloween written by the mother.
What struck me was that she was slagging off the fact that people in the UK/London, don’t celebrate Halloween, they were called mean because they had signs on their door letting people know that they won’t answer it. Question that pops up: what’s wrong with honesty…? It was then implied that Halloween was typical American; the Brits could learn a thing or two. Now this is where I start to feel the button being pushed… It was the tone in that post accompanied by a picture of the sign mentioned above.
It’s the arrogance: not everything in this world is American or about America you see… If she would’ve known the facts she should’ve said it was originally an Irish celebration, which is older than the history of the USA. *Ughh* I can’t really blame her though, Europeans tend to leave the kind of heritage information out that goes back more than two generations, that’s because we have a history that extends way beyond 1776 and we most certainly don’t feel the need to keep reminding everyone with each possible occasion.
There also seems to be an extreme gap between those expats who only need to follow hubby’s well-paid career path and entertain themselves [see example above] and those who made an independent decision to make the move, which clearly shows a divergence in attitudes and people, but perhaps that’s a different post altogether.
Funny, I tend to write/say that the grass is always greener on the other side, so my own country sucks but all of the others are wonderful… Of course I know it’s not true, but there’s this undying element of ‘something different’ which will never cease to appeal to me
Hi Bitter Chocolate, what you’re saying is probably the main reason why people tend to move countries because the grass is always greener and there is nothing wrong with that, I can see why it appeals to you.
The problem starts when they actually have to live daily life in another country: some start to realise that life is life and comes with the same set of problems everywhere. Yes there might be cultural differences causing these problems but fact is that it really isn’t necessarily any different or better. I also believe that visiting a country as a tourist won’t give you a proper idea of living a life there, which is a common mistake that is made.
Some become bitter because they realise they have to deal with the same problems they used to have at home. It’s only natural, the only thing that I can’t stand is the fact that some ridicule the host country, make it all sound really bad but are not going back home. It’s too easy to be negative, it takes balls and the right attitude to make things work…
I completely agree. I’ve been reading you for over a year now and read many other ‘expat’ blogs too.
I originate from where you are now and have since lived, for over 10 years, in the place you left behind. That’s why your blog interests me so much. We live in opposite parallel universes ;?))
However, there’s nothing worse than people moving to a new country and constantly complaining about it once there because it’s not like Belleville, Springfield or a.n.other small town U.S. of A…. And yes they do tend to be American and yes they do tend to make a habit of being ‘snarky’ as they’ll call it. It actually passes for humour where they come from, or so I’m reliably informed. It’s called whining where I come from!
Really, I’m fed up of reading about how you can’t get ‘mexican green chillies’, ‘maple syrup’ or ‘squirty cheese’ in Europe. Get over it Americans! How about making the most of the varied and interesting cultural experiences to be found all around you? What if instead you sampled some of the fantastic world-reknown cheeses and wines to be found here. Maybe if you stopped looking over your shoulders with remorse at what you’ve left behind and started looking ahead at what a sublime cornucopia of delights lay in front of you – both cultural and prandial – then you’d develop into the well-rounded, sophisticated world citizens that you all secretly yearn to become (If only to show-off your worldliness to the ignorant majority left behind in your motherland).
I am in complete agreement too that there is a vast difference between people that choose to move geographical locations and those that are forced to follow the ‘corporate trail’. Zesty, please don’t allow yourself to assume that all Americans are the same. There are those I have read, and sometimes even met, that are sufficiently well travelled and educated so as not to display the ignorance and arrogance you and I have all too often witnessed. Unfortunately their blogs are a little harder to find in the ‘expat blogosphere’.
P.S. Where can I get proper English sausages in Holland? ;?))
Hi Rudi
Sorry but that just gets me in a right -sarcastic- state… I guess I should write a post about it one day 
If you’re close to Amsterdam I could tell you where [if that place still exists though] *hehe*
Nice to read your comment and welcome! I’m happy to hear you share my point of view, there seems to be too much nagging going on already. I’m sure you’ll have the same problems there with UPC [I hope you have XS4all though *hehe*] as I have here with BT but what’s the point in whinging about it right? Yes, you may but not constantly
I’m kinda surprised *in a good way though!* to hear you share my thoughts about the corporate trail, it’s something I noticed a long time ago already even before leaving the Lowlands. I thought I was the only one who noticed the difference. I can’t really put my finger on it but these expat websites always seem to focus on the glamour of it all and never focus on real life issues like dealing with culture shock and finding your ways in a strange country which can be hard at times, instead of wondering what colour nail polish to buy
Americans: I realise they’re not all the same, I’ve met some really nice Americans but… those I’ve met learned to think outside the box. Like you already mentioned: the ones I met had traveled to other parts of the world and some to Europe. And ever since they have the European bug
Sausages… gee…
PS. North Holland you meant right? 10 years you said? *hehe*
Totally agree with you. Once I read somewhere that the blogosphere is mostly about complaints and people whining about everything…The fact that the media is more democratic is fantastic but some people in my opinion just don’t know how to use this powerful tool which is the internet. Some bloggers think that the more complaints the better.
And that’s the last thing I want after a tough day at work.
I would say that those blogs are just full of negative energy and when I visit a blog I have this image in my mind:
“I knock on the door of someone who kindly allows me in his/her house. Depending on what the person wants to share with me I feel at ease, I feel peace, relaxed, wanting to enjoy every single word I read…or I just can’t wait to leave running!”
When I have read a couple of blogs of expats living in my country (not too many by the way) I have felt that those bloggers only have arrogance to show. It’s like they feel that they are above everything else because they happened to move to my country and therefore they have all the right in the world to say whatever they like about a place where they have just lived for a couple of months…As you can well imagine I haven’t kept in touch with those blogs…they just made me angry
Cheers amiga,
Speaking of the USA, we are finally getting our shit together!
PS: Every country has it’s share of equally dumb folks. Just saying.
You don’t have to publish this but…I was being ironic about the sausages and saying Holland instead of the Netherlands ;?P I think you already realised this and can appreciate my ‘English’ humour but just in case you didn’t I thought I’d clarify.
Also…I live between where you were born and Amsterdam in the countryside on a beautiful lake in a houseboat. You see, you can’t accuse me of not trying to fully integrate ;?)) I’m with Casema (now called Ziggo!) BTW, and yes they are bad but not as bad as BT…I can empathise there too.
Nice to speak to you ‘one to one’ finally! :?D
R
Wen: I think it’s all about balance and integrating goes hand in hand with complaints. I feel that some of these people are basically just too scared to integrate because they might be afraid of losing their identity (?)… Just a thought
I hope I made it all cosy for you 
But I have plans… secret plans… 
So you wear clogs too then? 
Do you sell ‘koek en sopie’ from your kitchen window in wintertime? You could you know… I guarantee it adds to the Dutch experience 
I like your image of the house and the visit, that’s a nice way to visualise things
Expats in your country: I wonder what nationality they have. ‘It’s like they feel that they are above everything else’ yes that sums it all up. Girl, you are way to clever to keep in touch with those blogs, and I understand all too well how it can upset you, I guess that’s because in a way they don’t show respect. *hugs!*
Dalton: I don’t think this is about ‘dumb’ people… in fact the blogs I read were well written and even slightly posh. People who live in the West End, Kensington area in London; if they can afford to live there with a family it means that daddy doesn’t have to worry about his annual bonus, it probably covers an annual salary for most.
This isn’t about intelligence, it’s about arrogance and ignorance. It’s about being spoiled and not willing to adjust to the host country. If you would ask them after some years if they ever had ‘Bangers and Mash’ they probably wouldn’t even know what it is :-O And those who complain most, just happen to be certain Americans [or Canadians].
‘Getting our shit together’ this reply would grow out of proportions if I would give you my thoughts on that. Let’s not get political, I try to avoid the subject and the news lately, since I struggle because of the fact that some didn’t have their shit together, me and the rest of the world… Now don’t get me started, I don’t want the soapbox out
Dalton you’re ‘one of the good guys’, don’t take this too personal please?!
Rudi: too be honest I was in a serious mode so the penny dropped when I reread your comment and after I left mine hence my PS. And since I’m Dutch and you’re fully integrated you should know that you can be blunt and yes ironic too
Houseboat huh? Nice! I always wanted one and nearly bought one from a friend in Amsterdam years ago, I still regret that I didn’t
Oh and I can still tell you where that shop is but if you’re a 100% integrated [read: you have the Dutch attitude] you would never spend 8 Euros on a few lousy sausages
“I don’t think this is about ‘dumb’ people…”
Yes, you are right. It’s more about people who are smart and capable, but decided to remain ignorance through arrogance, stubbornness, and sometimes fear (usually of change).
We have many expats here in Seattle and the ones I know love Seattle and adjust very well to living here. However, we get quite a few people from out of state that always complain about the weather, the people, and whatever else they can find to complain about. I ask them why are you even here? They can’t give me an answer other than “job”. It makes me wonder if they are even happy with their job.
It’s sad when people from out of the country adjust better than most people within their own country when they move to a different state.
“‘Getting our shit together’ this reply would grow out of proportions if I would give you my thoughts on that. Let’s not get political…”
Haha, the atmosphere have been so politicized in the States that it’s now time for me to step back and take a nice deep breath. The air smells so much fresher now.
I agree with you that it is all about balance. Definitely in many cases the point of view of many expats can enrichen the way locals see things and problems in general. It is only natural that expats will find problems in their new homes and that they want to share their frustration with the world. And there is nothing wrong with that except that when it becomes their way of life it is too much and it becomes boring.
I agree that many expats are probably scared of losing their identity. In my case the move has helped me to truly cherish my identity but I never forget that I am in Malta because I chose to be here and I am making the best out of my choice
Very interesting post and comments too.
Dalton: I really liked Seattle and I’m used to rain so you wouldn’t hear me complain
Actually I love a nice drizzle especially when I’m walking in a forest, it smells so wonderful 
And nature there is just amazing, you’re lucky 
Yes it is sad if people don’t appreciate what they’ve got.
* But I already know I won’t be staying, I still haven’t found my ‘home’ probably because of my mixed background so I might try Indonesia, might… All I really want is a goat, a garden to grow vegs, a cottage, some chickens, notebooks, pencils, paint and paper and a huge forest next to it…
Let me make one political remark: it’s about freakin time that a black person has been elected… It sends out a message to the black community all over the world which is an extremely positive thing. Let’s just hope he won’t become a scapegoat because there’s a lot of pressure and people have high expectations. I leave it at that…
Wen: same here… I still learn each day about this country and its people and it’s nice, I enjoy it *most of the time
And of course broadband *hehe*
As for a black person finally being elected, I think it’s more of it’s about time we voted color blinded. Obama is a smart man and he knows he has a tough time ahead of him but he also knows he’s not alone.
Another thing, it’s about time we elected a diplomat, not a politician. It is a positive thing!
Although it often is pure arrogance, many times it really is ignorance.
Thinking about the blunt traits and such…
If one hasn’t lived in North America, that ignorance can very easily be perceived as arrogance.
The schools, in the U.S. at least, just don’t put much importance on the cultures of the rest of the world, even though there is no true American culture without them.
I learned more about the early years of the U.S. during my first visit to NL then I did in 13 years of public school. And knowing now about those early years, I understand more of what goes on today. Let alone being able to tolerate the differences here.
And speaking of recent elections… ALL sides continue to breed that so called American arrogance with all that talk of “The Greatest Nation” etc., etc., on and on. And it’s not just campaign hoopla.
Come on now, I know they know better. They’ve all been places.
They can love their country, or be proud of it… whatever. But really they play on the ignorance of the majority. And I’m convinced they want the ignorant to remain that way. Has nothing to do with color, wealth, or political affiliations.
I’ve only been a few other places in the world, but I know that the location I had no choice of being born in does not get my vote for greatest. Best. Whatever.
Where is the Best? Personally I don’t think there is such a thing.
I may find the best place for ME one day. It might even be where I am now, although I don’t think so. But where ever it is, I know there is no such thing as perfection. There will always be some things I may not like. And sure I may bitch and moan about them from time to time.
But if/when I think it was better back yonder, it’s time to shut up and pack me bags as soon as I can.
The world is a big place, there must be a best place for each person.
But the best place for “me” might not be the best place for ya’ll.
I’ve always wanted to fit in when living or visiting a new area.
Done pretty good at it too. Being taken for a local while living in various parts of the U.S. which isn’t always as easy as it may sound. This is a big place with a good deal of variety.
My favorite compliment though coming during a visit to NL. “Oh, you’re from the States! Of course we heard you speaking English, but you don’t act like all the others.”
Rambling too much and I’m about to fall off my rickety soapbox.
A lot of issues in this post, I should have zeroed in on one instead of trying to address them all :-O
I’m not sure if schooling could be blamed, I think it’s about a general interest in other cultures than your own. Some people are natural explorers and crave knowledge and experience, others are happy to go as far as the neighbour next door. I think some Americans feel too comfortable in their own little bubble but I was referring to those who live elsewhere and not in the USA though.
Those who moved abroad for some reason but aren’t willing to adjust to the host country, to me that’s not ignorance, that is arrogance. All the complaints that can be heard/read is proof of that and it’s utterly annoying. I like people with a positive attitude, those who don’t give up but make the most of it instead… Open minded people. Those who choose to bitch only don’t earn my respect they should go back to where they came from, a hole in the ground :-O
You too, are different from most, you’re not a sheep remember?
You better get off that soapbox and start packing so you can hop across the pond in less than two years :-O *hehe*