I guess… where I left off…

Much has changed since and much still continues to change. I’ve had a one-year contract offered after I’ve had a second interview and after I had to successfully complete an extremely difficult (IQ) test. But then the financial crisis hit this country again and I had to wait for a year until I got hired. I now have an indefinite contract and I’ve been with this company for over a year already. I have different roles for different projects at different companies. My last project started at the beginning of this year and will finish by the end of this month. They might extend the project so I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

I’ve been doing serious soul searching for a long time and found out that whenever I focus on something that I really want, I will get it. Life has been another rough ride in the meantime but I guess everyone has their ups and downs. I’m living in the city again that I once had left to move countries. I feel I have a love-hate relationship with it since I can’t get used to the crowded streets, the noise, the aggression and the egocentric attitude of most. At times I do not feel at home here at all but I guess that has to do with the fact that I had moved countries. I feel I don’t belong here and it’s a restless feeling.

Life made a 360 for me and I guess that had all to do with being focused on getting things back, start allover again from scratch and write a new chapter in a new book. But some chapters probably will remain the same even in a new book… I’ve received a letter a few days ago from someone dear to me, someone who has been there for me whenever I needed to talk to her. Someone who helped me when I had worries or when I couldn’t see a silver lining. The letter said she had been ill for two months, ill from chemotherapy since she had been treated for malignant bone cancer.

It came as a total shock to me and I guess I still am in shock in a way. I’m going to write a letter because I haven’t spoken with her in a year. I was too preoccupied (…) She doesn’t want people to call which I can understand. So writing(!) is the best I can do for now. I just didn’t find the right paper yet because I want it to be something special. Stuff like that makes you think and I mean really think… So that’s probably why I felt the need to write a first post again in years. I’ve had the urge for a while already but I kept postponing it. Silly -I know- but each time I tried, something got in the way and I had to set other priorities.

I really really needed the break and this is hopefully the start of that new chapter. More to come soon…