I was at my dear friend and ex-colleague C.’s party last night which was a blast, I had a great time meeting lots of (new) people and talking to other ex-colleagues I hadn’t seen in a while. Some of them I hadn’t seen in three years: ever since I left for London. It was so good to talk to them again after such a long time, it made me realise how much I’ve missed having colleagues, especially these colleagues who were thrilled to see me!
It also made me realise something else, last night it seemed so much easier to connect with other people being there on my own in a room full of -mostly- strangers. I felt like a butterfly floating through the room from one conversation to another with different people without really having to make an effort. I remember the days where that was totally different and I wonder if it was because I was still in a ‘relationship‘ -at the time-…
Last night I realised I was starting to find myself again after being stuck in a situation that had made me become extremely self-conscious and insecure. That had left a deep crater at the surface and a roaring all-consuming fire underneath to break free from the chains and be ‘me’ again. Yesterday I was ‘me’, there was no pretending, no wallflower syndrome, just a total transparent honest ‘me’, the person I was before I got lost.
So besides having a great time and feel happy I can’t really explain what it was like to feel a certain kind of freedom again, to be in a situation where others acknowledge your presence and accept you as ‘a whole’. ‘A whole’ because that’s what I am, what I always should’ve been, what I was and what I’ve found again… And it feels great to see what kind of effect it has, not just on me but on others as well: it’s a much richer experience.
The caterpillar just became a butterfly again, now let me fly… fly… fly…
©Dana Helmig
‘where others acknowledge your presence and accept you as ‘a whole’. ‘A whole’ because that’s what I am, what I always should’ve been, what I was and what I’ve found again..’
exactly, we are not unidimensional, we are masterpieces full of different angles and dimensions…it is always so difficult to find people who can actually see the masterpiece in its entirety
You know, I don’t mind if those people would be just anyone because I don’t have to become their best friend and I can walk away from it any time I want but when it comes to partners not being able to see the masterpiece than I have a problem
And I guess that is what has been the main problem over the years… You’re absolutely right!
But isn’t it great to feel that ‘click’ again with people? No jealousy, no pretending, not being looked at as a threat by other women, not having to hold in or listen to nasty remarks of others etc. It’s so nice to meet ‘real’ people! You’re one of them and I consider myself lucky to have met you
Hope you’re well my friend!
How sweet
who are genuine and with whom I can feel free 
and safe because they like me the way I am and enjoy my company and my conversation and me 
Yes, I am lucky to have met people (you included of course
thank you so much for the love
been a while i know
just figured out how to work this
love love
It’s what you deserve, it’s like being good to yourself and put yourself first in a way so all the good things will come to you…
Hey Gregg! How nice of you to visit
Time is no issue and great to see that you’re trying to find your way in blog and tweet world 
Welcome! Hope you’re having a lovely Thanksgiving with your beautiful woman!
thanx for the comment
i appreciate the love
hows everything?
Hi Gregg! All is well thank you
Many exciting things are about to happen that I’ll write some posts about over the next couple of months. Hope you and Ismoyo are good as well! It’s about time the two of you receive some good news! I’m rooting for both of you!