At times people ask me why I moved to London… It’s because I never really felt at home in the Lowlands and I wanted to explore and experience living in a different country with a different culture and society. When I was sixteen I dreamt about living in France and working there as an au pair. I never had to work as an au pair because I had friends in Paris which was almost a ‘second home’ to me and I could visit whenever I wanted to.
Later in life I traveled all over Europe so that nagging feeling was suppressed for a while but still there. At some point I realised that this feeling had nothing to do with countries or cultures. I came to the conclusion that it had something to do with my own identity and coming from two totally different backgrounds: Dutch and Indonesian. No matter where I am I won’t be able to shake that feeling of being split in two and not belonging anywhere.
It’s a feeling I can’t explain but I’m sure that those who are from two different cultures know exactly what I’m talking about. I was told once by a psychic that the only place I will instantly feel at home will be Java since I’m protected by a local shaman: my great great great grandfather. I’m more tempted to visit my dad’s home at Borneo to be honest it’s most of all less touristic and far more interesting to me because of my family history.
Anyway…
The nagging feeling is there again in the back of my head ever since I moved so I found the perfect opportunity to ‘test’ and see if I feel more at home in the far East. China that is… I’ve applied for a job at a Chinese university. It’s a teaching job in design and I fit the profile to a ‘T’ so I didn’t have to think twice and sent my CV. Visa and ticket will be arranged so if it’s up to me I’m ready for another challenge! Keep your fingers crossed for me…