I’ve disappeared from the surface and didn’t respond to any emails due to a deadline that I had before 20.00 today. I’ve been in my insane work-all-thru-the-night-mode again since yesterday and didn’t get much sleep at all, about three hours this morning when I went to bed at about 06.00. I’ve been working non-stop for days, my brain is fried at the moment so I can’t think much but I will try to explain why I have been up all night and invisible last week.
While the economy is getting worse things are getting more uncertain for a lot of people, including myself. I’m still living in a place due to circumstances with the ex where I don’t want to be, although we’re friends: I want to move on… And fact is that I’m getting more and more work in, but it’s not enough to be able to move out and pay all possible expenses. London is number two on the World list of most expensive cities to live after Moscow and I feel it, trust me!
Last week, I accidentally found a most appealing opportunity to change the situation for the best. Yes I need stability in my life, especially with all the chaos going on around me I need a center point of calmness and certainty. That said, I knew I had to leave an impression so the creativity started to flow all week last week. But it felt wrong somehow and although I asked some if they liked my ideas and my creation [which they did] it still didn’t feel right to me…
So last night I realised at the last moment that I shouldn’t do what I’d planned to do. Indecisiveness is what it boils down to, I just couldn’t make up my mind and the pressure was there big time. I couldn’t afford to take unnecessary risks, I mean it looks really nice but it didn’t feel right for the occasion. By the time I actually trusted my gut feeling it was already midnight and I needed a change in strategy so in the end simplicity won over complex beautiful design.
I’d planned to send it off yesterday but that was before I changed my mind. I had less than six hours to adjust a letter, CV, add extra pages to my portfolios and export it all to an acceptable pdf format which was the tough bit. I need a good book about making pdfs: no it’s not at all simple to produce a high-in-quality but low-in-bit-size pdf, there are just way too many options and way too many unsatisfying results. Or am I too much of a perfectionist?
At the moment I don’t really care, I had my panic attack right after I sent my email with attachment. The ‘what ifs’ started to bug me big time and I can’t remember how long ago it was where I felt this insecure about things but I guarantee it was at least 15 years ago. Insecure… only because I really really want this position. It means a way out for me, a way to fly and spread my wings. A way to start afresh again and face exciting new challenges.
To my surprise I got an email in, an hour after I had sent mine. It said that they had received several hundred of applications and that they would get back to me at the beginning of next week. They’d done an initial check of applications as they came in which mine had passed and they’d be actively considering mine. I’m happy I listened to my gut feeling, tonight I can finally relax after a hectic week! Below a few details of my design that I didn’t use in the end.
I’m sure I will one day on a different project, these are drawings that I did using Illustrator but they weren’t meant to be, not today…
Details of my illustrations
Oh my goodness! Those illustrations are absolutely wonderful! You truly are a gifted artist viendrin
I don’t think I would manage to do something that beautiful in a million years!
I will cross my fingers for you so that you get the position that you want.
I imagined that London was an expensive city but I never thought it was the second most expensive city in the world…wow…
Big hug vriendin
Oh Wen you make me blush *hehe* Thank you so much!
I believe everyone can draw… but you need to learn the technique(s) and train your eye, it takes practice and practice and practice 
I’m excited and nervous at the same time… Oh yes London is extremely expensive unfortunately and you and hubby should wait until I have a place for you to stay so you can come visit one day 
Thank you for your support dear Amiga
Would be so cool to meet the two of you! Hugs back at ya!
I don’t think there’s enough hours in the day for all the practice I would require… just to satisfy me, much less come anywhere close to your work.
I’m sorry these ended up not being used, they’re too nice.
But it reminds me of composers who carried these beautiful snippets around in their heads… sometimes for years before the right moment came for them to be used.
I’m sure we’ll see these again one day… perhaps even on a client’s website where they’ll help get things turned around.
Ah yes, the ol’ trial and error of trying to find just the right settings for PDFs.
And the stuff I was doing for a publisher was no where near as complex. I ended up taking screenshots of the dialog boxes once I found some settings that worked and kept them filed with the past work (probably still have them somewhere) so I wouldn’t have to reinvent the wheel with each project.
Seems I’m doing the same thing with vids these days…. yet to find the right setting. But I’m getting the impression each one will need something different.
Anyway, I hope I’m here when the good news arrives.
My work is not that impressive to me, I’ve seen much better stuff out there but thank you I do appreciate a compliment, to me it’s just technique in this case a computer and application
PDFs: I need a good book that’s all… I do the same thing with the Gloves people website, I have to take screenshots so I can archive the settings, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna need them again one day soon. I don’t trust them with their own website, isn’t that odd?
Good news never came… and I’m having a really hard time to stay motivated!
Hi vriendin!
That’s so nice of you! We would also love to meet you! We are still in the process of furnishing our flat but hopefully we will accomplish our mission and we will have a nice place and then we would love it if you could stay with us and show you around Malta
Abrazo,