I’m always surprised how easy it is to start taking certain things in life for granted. And as soon as that hits me I feel ashamed because I should be grateful for what I have and count my blessings instead. I had a tough Wednesday night this week when I was reminded again of some very unpleasant moments last year. And since I wasn’t made to feel welcome by all the harsh remarks that were made, I ended up running out of the house in tears. I had to get away from the ghosts for a few minutes and called MvdM. to get things off my chest while I wandered around the area. I stayed out for 45 minutes, it was cold and freezing that evening, but I didn’t really notice.

After a really bad night, I woke up the next morning feeling extremely down and not in the mood to make any changes that would contribute to my near future. I ended up communicating with two people who are the closest ones in my life at the moment. And after some time when I took a short break, making my first mug of coffee in the kitchen that day, it suddenly hit me while I stared at the kettle waiting for the water to boil. I was thinking about my conversation with MvdM. the previous night and about the conversation that I was having with JB. I felt embarrassed and wondered what the hell happened to my willpower and why I still allowed someone to control me like this.

Instead of judging the situation or myself, I started thinking about all the amazing gifts I had received over the last few weeks. A beautiful Valentine’s message, wonderful words of appreciation left by my readers, phone calls from friends across the Canal and from Scotland, encouraging emails, a bright sunny Sunday so I could go out and enjoy the scenery and satisfy my photography addiction, the foxes that I saw nosing each other out in the middle of the night only a few metres away from me, lunar eclipses, birds singing at dawn, an ex-colleague but most of all a dear friend telling me he misses me, trees blossoming and JB. showing me a different perspective and the right angle that morning…

I managed to snap out of it because JB. reminded me to put myself in a better place, which was the greatest gift someone could’ve given me that day. I wrote an email to a recruitment agency that MvdM. had suggested to me: set up by former colleagues of his. He had gone there to have a chat with them that same Thursday morning. A few emails later I was invited for an interview on Friday at ten which lasted for almost two hours. That, is extremely unusual over here but I had a great time talking to this woman who had also been a recruiter in Amsterdam for a few years up until some months ago. She has given me extremely useful information and advice and I felt that finally someone had taken time to listen to me!

Since yesterday I already have three inspiring options through this agency, with three awesome [design] companies here in London. Both design companies work with Dutch clients and being Dutch is a major advantage in this case since the Dutch clients prefer to communicate in their own language. One of these clients is based in Amsterdam and it means I would have to fly and work there on the project for a few weeks. The third job option is a well-known charity within the UK and international. So I will be busy over the weekend finishing some portfolios in PDF format which will be send out to these [design] companies on Monday.

I will start freelance but two roles have the potential to become a full time creative directors position… The universe is smiling at me again, so please let me not forget how to hold on to this feeling this time, but if I do, don’t hesitate to remind me! *hug*

Can you hear him sing?