Tag Archives: Memory

Sweetest Revenge

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I remember that one early morning -when I was a kid- my mother came into my room. I guess it must have been Saturday or Sunday since it was early but I wasn’t up yet to go to school, instead I was in a deep sleep when she woke me. She came into my room calling my name and I asked her what was going on. She told me to get out of bed and look outside through the window. I was still very sleepy and my bed felt nice, cosy and warm, I didn’t want to get up but I did anyway. I walked over to the window where she stood and pulled the curtains away.

The moment I had pulled the curtains she said to me ‘Do you see the horse attached to the post of that street light over there?’ whilst pointing her finger in a certain direction. I tried to see where her finger was pointing and saw different street lights but no horse to be seen anywhere. So I asked her ‘Where do you see a horse mum?’. She said ‘Over there…’ pointing in the same direction as she did earlier. Again I looked but couldn’t see a horse attached to a street light. I was confused and when she noticed the puzzled expression on my face, she said ‘April Fool!’.

I’ve never forgotten that moment of feeling tricked and being intrigued and amused at the same time, until this day I have to chuckle each year when April Fools’ Day comes around thinking about how my mum played the joke on me. But last night I finally had my moment of revenge after almost 40 years. And it was sweet ;) I called her last night around 23.00 because I’d promised to call and also to tell her that I’d had an interview that day about a new assignment and to ask her how she was doing. She sounded a bit depressed and not too happy about life in general.

At times she gets these moods where nothing seems to matter anymore and she seems tired of life. I won’t go into details because those are private but she does have a tendency to be negative and complain about certain things, expecting others to solve these issues for her. So I guess I’m kind of used to this pattern and won’t let it get to me. I will lend an ear and express sympathy but will not hold back to tell her the truth every so often if she is willing to listen that is. She can be pretty tough on herself raising the bar too high and ‘punishing’ herself accordingly…

*hmmm I know of this other person and a bar as well, as I write I observe and learn ;) *

We were talking for about an hour and half when I noticed the date and time on my MacBook Air, it showed fri 1 apr. 00:34. I immediately got this idea in my mind and started grinning from ear to ear wondering if it would work after nearly 40 years or not. So I interrupted my mum and asked her if she could get out of her chair for a moment. To my surprise she did without even asking questions. So I told her to go to the window and asked if the blinds were down, she said they were only halfway. Then I told her to move closer to the window and have a good look.

I asked her if she could see the street light, she answered she could. Then I asked her if she could see the donkey attached to it… And she bursted out in laughter! She remembered exactly what I was on about and smirked in triumph about something that happened nearly 40 years ago. We both had a good laugh. I said to her ‘I finally have my sweet revenge, do you realise what you did to me all those years ago you bad bad mother?’ and we laughed some more. It was a really nice, close moment that we shared together both silly laughing and grinning.

But the best part was when we were about to hang up she said to me that she was going to bed and that she would probably still be grinning whilst trying to get some sleep and even the day after in the morning when she would wake up. It was nice to realise that I had the ability to turn her slightly bad day into a better one even if it was at her expense… ;)

Sacred Space

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Yesterday was the seventh anniversary and although I had a quiet moment, I didn’t celebrate like I used to each year because I have no ‘home’. I’m still living out of boxes (which can be utterly frustrating at times) so I still don’t have my sacred space with my collection of sacred objects. Where I’m currently living is not my home, it’s a transitional place… a passage from one phase in live to another, a phase of cleansing, forgiving and rejuvenating.

But just because I have no sacred space, doesn’t mean I didn’t think about things; I did contemplate. But it was different this year… I cooked (my recipe), not the traditional Indonesian meal but one that my dad used to enjoy very much come to think of it. Braising steak with carrots, sweet onions, a bulb of garlic, bay leaf, cloves, stock and some secret ingredients *wink*. It had been simmering for hours filling the house with a beautiful aroma.

Later in the evening I stood outside watching the sky and talking to my dad while the wind was roaring around the house. After seven years of spending this day without my family for profound reasons I got to spend it with them today, not by choice but merely because it just happened to be that way. It was okay… but next year I will spend it near my sacred space again because next year I will have moved on to the next phase of live…

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As in many sacred architectural forms in Indonesia, the house is not only seen as a mere dwelling place, it is regarded as a symbol of the cosmos linking the divine world to that of man. In such places, the immaterial world and the material world are continuously interacting, and the harmony between the living and the world beyond is kept through rituals and offerings. As the invisible penetrates into the world of the living, so it needs to be identified in the material world.

Each of the spirits are given their appropriate attributes as tangible objects, and it is through these objects that they are identified during rituals. If the house is regarded as a living, heavenly altar on earth, ancestor worship is also common within the village and elsewhere needing blessings from the invisible forces.

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