Tag Archives: Friend

Out with The Old in with The New

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My ‘friend’… I don’t mind seeing you go since it seems you are in denial of my happiness, my life, my job and everything that defines me. When I sense envy instead and reluctance to nurture the relationship, than I guess you were right to be so quick to ‘unfriend’ and ‘block’ me on Facebook, for pointing this out to you. I guess the truth hits hard a times… :roll:

You barely respond to my emails not to mention react on the things that -you know- are important to me. You refuse to reply to my comments left for you on FB and instead turn this into a one-way street where all you do is absorb the attention you get from others. Life is not just about you. Perhaps that is a tough thing for you to grasp but it ain’t. Wake up call!

It’s sad that it has to be like this after such a long time, but I guess I haven’t been happy with the friendship nor with you and your reactions for a while now, but each time you’ve managed to brush it off. If you don’t want to be an active part of the communication process, it’s time for me to leave the relationship behind and gladly move on.

Yes I feel sorry for you that a certain issue in your life is happening and that you are scared of what the future will bring for you and your children. But it doesn’t mean that the world revolves around you and you only. Every person on this planet has got his or her own problems. You either deal with it or you don’t but don’t expect the ostrich attitude from me.

If you want others to be there for you when you need them, it might be wise to at least show some interest and care in case the day will come where you need them. I guess the fact that you immediately ‘unfriended’ and blocked me -after I told you my truth and how I felt about the situation-, says it all really. It was the kind of confirmation I was expecting.

It made me chuckle… As did your question about where my blog had gone? (..) It has been here since about ‘forever’… If you would’ve been interested in my life thus this blog, you would’ve known. So yes, that question seriously raised my eyebrow. I no longer feel comfortable being myself or sharing parts of my life with you, so it’s time to move on.

I have revalued my expectations and this friendship and I’m thru, I’m not your doormat whenever it suits you nor will I be your Facebook self-esteem booster whilst you play your well performed attention-seeker role. I’m actually quite happy with the way you left things; fact is that my personal growth has completely outgrown you and this friendship.

Thanks for making that perfectly clear, I can let go of something I’ve tried to hold on to for way way too long! It now can be replaced by something bigger and more beautiful :)

I do not open up the truth to one who is not eager to get knowledge, nor help out any one who is not anxious to explain himself. When I have presented one corner of a subject to any one, and he cannot from it learn the other three, I do not repeat my lesson.

A Matter of Sorting…

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I’ve been sorting out this blog on and off for some time now. Ever since I’ve moved it from Movable Type to WordPress it became a bit of a mess. Movable Type had no easy option to convert the format to that of WordPress so I had to clean out all sorts of code. Still doing this whenever I have a moment. Having written a blog for 10+ years is a lot to digest and not just in this particular perspective.

Whenever I’m cleaning out code I end up reading old posts, some I have hidden, some I wanted to delete (although I haven’t) because they’re no longer accurate. They’re still a part of me and they do show how I felt at the time. Some made me extremely emotional the moment I realised what I’d been through and what I’ve had to deal with over the years. Others made me realise that I did what needed to be done…

And I’m proud of myself for doing so. I guess at times I tend to forget what happened since it’s much easier to think about the happy stuff. It also made me realise that some of my ‘best friends’ are no longer my best friends. I took my distance because they were judging me or judging the situation I was in instead of giving me the support and most of all the trust that I could handle things myself without all the well intended ‘good advice’.

I knew I could do it, I knew I could climb out of the hole and get things back in order. I knew I could focus as long as I could believe in my strength to do so. And I did… Life is hectic and I have little time but I miss writing a lot since it’s a way to clear my head and put things in perspective, hence this post. I’ve promised myself to write more often although I realise that I’ve mentioned the same in my last post, this time I need to do this: for me.

I guess I’ve been a tad disappointed with certain people and the way they treated me. I guess I expected them to believe in me since I had it all planned in my head. They did not show their support though, all they did was either criticize me or simply deny everything that was going on. I was tired of having to answer to them so I stopped doing this. The only one I had to answer to was me as I am responsible for my own actions.

It’s a shame that there has to be jealousy instead, it’s a shame that they envy my strength, it’s a shame that they cannot be happy for me and that there seems to be the tendency to ignore everything I have accomplished over the last three years. I do not understand their behaviour but I’ve promised myself not to worry about it, or even think about it because it is taking energy that I’d better use on positive things.

I’m happy and that’s all that matters. Of course there are certain issues that could use change but it will come in time and I’m not rushing to make these changes. Most of it is career-wise. I’m grateful that I have a job, although I work 12 hours a day at the moment having to travel back and forth. It’s a project that is fun and the contract has been extended twice already so I don’t mind.

The team that I work with are a bunch of funny geeks who appreciate what I’m doing which makes it all worth the trouble of having to commute daily. What was supposed to be a two months project already turned into a five months project and it wouldn’t surprise me if that would be extended by another two months. There’s still lots of work to do but I’m enjoying all of it. My designs, expertise and skills are highly valued which is greatly rewarding.

I’m sorting… in more than one perspective and I feel happy doing so :)