Precious Gifts

I got a letter in last week from the NHS, the National Health Service. I’ll have to make an appointment with the nurse to have another screening done. Ever since I had surgery in March this year, I slightly dread these regular letters but I was fine in August so I’m sure I’ll be fine in January. I should be positive, not worry too much and instead appreciate those precious gifts in life. Gifts that come in all sorts of shapes and colours and most of the time when you least expect it.

I’ve been given a most intriguing gift this year from a special person, it’s like unwrapping layers of shiny, glittery paper, to find another one underneath and I feel like a little girl eager to get to the soul of the present enjoying each moment of unwrapping. I received another one in the shape of an email from a reader a few weeks ago when I wrote a somewhat personal post, a gift that left such an impression on me, I have been speechless for some time thinking about her touching words. She is one beautiful colourful inspiring person.

Then there are: ex-colleagues who became friends over the years, new friends and friends that have been in my life for some time giving me their unconditional gifts in the shape of trust, love, patience and comfort. And let’s not forget the wonderful blog readers and writers out there who leave their gifts on each post that I write. Sharing their thoughts with me, saying hi or reading quietly in the background. Offering me help, comforting words and showing me their amazing support when I need it most.

I believe I have crossed paths with these people for a reason and my life has enriched in many ways by getting to know them each in their own shimmering rainbow coloured way… This morning when I woke up the city was covered with a soft fluffy blanket of fog. And I just stood there for a while enjoying the mesmerising view and let my mind drift away. I counted my blessings. Yes, life can be good and it doesn’t have to be xmas to find gifts: for those who wish to see there is a gift each day of the year…

Happy birthday dad…

© Zesty Gal, A stroll, Lowlands 1998

© Zesty Gal, A stroll, Lowlands 1998

© Zesty Gal, A stroll, Lowlands 1998

Happy Halloween

To those who googled for ‘chinese doctor’ please read the previous post [Three Days In Hospital] and next one [A Mystery] too. Feel free to email me if you have any questions about the herbal treatment, the address is on the right.

Yesterday I had an appointment at the hospital again; one in the morning and one in the afternoon both at Endoscopy. In the morning I had to give more blood and I was happy that I had a two-days-break from the previous horror shows although there are still visible reminders. My right arm is showing at least six needle tracks and a huge bruise that keeps growing bigger and changes colour over night. That in combination with my yellow eyes and skin makes me look like some freakin junkie, I guess I have a free Halloween outfit this year *hehe* But I’ll miss out on all the festivities, although when they wheeled me in my bed through the hospital all the way to the other end of the building to have the ultrasound done, I passed a nicely decorated reception, covered in glitter spiders and funny pumpkins. A spooky ride through the hospital… Yes I was feeling very unwell but I never lose my eye for detail especially when it makes me smile…

The nurse had to take four more blood samples yesterday and I was prepared for another painful experience. The needle went in… but no blood came out and the nurse wasn’t happy nor was I. She had to pull it out after a few minutes and as soon as she did my blood started to run… I was not happy at all because it meant she had to do it all over again, she couldn’t use my right arm because of all the bruises and my left started to act up. I had the same situation in the past where I had to give a lot of blood and at some point my body just refuses to cooperate. It is saying: ‘I had enough of it, don’t mess with me anymore’. Lucky me I had a very bright nurse and she said she didn’t want to try again because she knew she wasn’t capable. She was used to using much thinner needles so she wanted it done by a pro and told us to wait for the doctor. He told me he had 25 years of experience. Yes it did hurt especially the spot he had chosen which was on the bruised arm but more on the inside and further down. But he had a very steady hand and he was quick, it took five minutes instead of 15 to 20…

Again I had two arms that I couldn’t really use, somehow those veins get into some kind of shock and become stiff. The nurse had almost left no bruise at all but the one the doctor did turned into a nice purple greenish spot. I guess that’s my fault because he asked me to put pressure there and I didn’t do it hard enough. But it’s fine it doesn’t hurt at all, the other spot, the big one does and according to the nurse it will take weeks to vanish. I went home all dizzy again slept for a few hours and send out some emails to people. I felt drained so couldn’t do much. I went back to the hospital in the afternoon. The good news was that the earlier ALT figure had gone down from 2750 last Wednesday when I was admitted to hospital, to 2500, to 2350 on Friday evening when I left, to 1700 yesterday. And I had one result back which made me really happy but will know more about the other tests next week when I have to come back again for tadaaa, another blood test and chat with the doctor. For now I shall rest a lot… My appetite is back and I was told only to eat food that I fancy, oddly enough I eat lots of grapes and bananas during the day and soup with two slices of toast in the evening. To me that’s a feast compared to what I had for weeks.

I would like to thank all of you for sending me words of encouragement, love and care; it meant a lot to me! I would also like to answer some issues that some of you don’t seem to understand.

Question: why didn’t you notice the yellow eyes sooner?

Answer: I didn’t suspect anything until five days before I actually had a look and I had googled for liver symptoms. AS. had asked me about the yellow eyes and I had said no to him because I was convinced I didn’t have them. Then on Tuesday while I was doing my makeup, I decided to have a good look and then noticed some yellowness only on the sides of my eyes. So it’s basically hidden if you look straight ahead. My GP confirmed this the next day; he thought I had a gall bladder obstruction and expected surgery, so sent me off to hospital asap. Over the next couple of days, my eyes were totally yellow but again only if you look in a certain light; you can’t see it when it’s slightly dark like in the evening. It seems to be normal not to notice, most people don’t notice the yellow eyes at all, especially men [according to the doctor at the hospital!]…

Question: why didn’t you notice the yellow skin sooner?

Answer: I know this sounds odd but that’s because I am yellow. I have a different skin colour because of my Caucasian mother and my Indonesian father. In summer it can get really deep tanned: golden mocha. The Italians used to call me Mocha, the French call me Olive… Even my hair changes colour: in the summertime it will be deep dark brown with a red glow and in the wintertime it becomes black. So in the wintertime my skin tends to look slightly yellowish, my dad had the same change. I’m even darker/more yellow than most Chinese… So no… I didn’t notice only now I can see a yellow glow but still. I think it was worse when MvdM. came to see me and we both had a look at it…

Question: why did you leave it too long?

Answer: people who know me can tell that I am not a whiner and that I won’t go to a doctor just because I have some pain somewhere or because I feel slightly ill. This started off as a flu-like period and I honestly thought it was a stomach bug. It takes a few weeks and then it should be gone. I was hoping for the best and when the symptoms were gone for a week, I thought things were back to normal again and only started to worry the week after when I felt incredibly tired all the time and would fall asleep at my desk instantly. Some Wikipedia: initial features are of nonspecific flu-like symptoms, common to almost all acute viral infections and may include: malaise, muscle and joint aches, fever, feeling sick or vomiting, diarrhea and headache. More specific symptoms, which can be present in acute hepatitis from any cause are: profound loss of appetite, aversion of smoking among smokers, dark urine, yellowing of the eyes and skin i.e. jaundice and abdominal discomfort. Physical findings are usually minimal, apart from jaundice (33%).

Now I need to rest again, I wish you all a spooky Halloween! Be good, don’t scare the Ghouls, Ghosts, Jinn, Demons, Zombies, Death Knights, Scrags, Shamblers, Vores [aka Shalraths], Fiends, Ogres and Rotfish…