Art Of Cooking

Whenever I had a not-so-happy phase in life, I had the tendency not to eat and skip meals or eat soup and toast instead of a meal because I was too lazy to cook. I don’t know what triggered it but at some point I realised that I should look after myself no matter what circumstances and whether I’d feel like eating or not: I should have something nutritious. I guess my approach to cooking changed when I realised that I could use cooking to treat myself, be good to me. Buying and preparing nice, good food was like buying a gift for myself. Ever since that moment, years ago, cooking became almost some kind of meditation and/or celebration instead of a daily chore.

Last week I watched a show on BBC4 about the biggest Chinese restaurant in the world situated in the Hunanese town of Changsha [circa 5000 seats]. The owner at some point explained her philosophy of cooking in relation to her chefs which -what I first thought- was quite similar to mine: food is an expression of the soul… I feel that, when you cook something that looks and tastes beautiful, you don’t just feed your body but your soul too. To me cooking is relaxing [most of the time] and I try to take time and not feel rushed by a clock. I developed my own cooking Taoism [nourishment of the body, longevity] combined with some Confucianism too [taste, texture, appearance].

So what I didn’t understand about this show was the owners philosophy and how it was so not applied to their ways in preparing meals which was quite disturbing to me. At some point the 300 chefs were in a competition to show how quickly they could prepare certain dishes. They showed how to descale a live fish with a knife whilst holding it down on a cutting board. Next thing they did was batter the fish and shove the still wriggling body in a wok with smoking hot oil until fried. They then put it on a plate, sprinkled some green over it and served a fresh slowly dying fish to the jury. A similar thing happened to a snake which was skinned but the ‘worst thing’ happened to a duck…

The owner said that to keep her chef’s minds creative so they would come up with new ideas for new menus, she would take them out on a field trip to refresh the spirit. This time she took them to visit the duck farm that supplied their 200 consumed ducks a day. After a tour around the farm, they prepared their own meal and showed how to kill a duck before preparing it. It came down to poking a bamboo stick right through the breast, putting your finger through the hole to pull out the heart of the live duck. All this to keep the good flavours and happy customers… I had to turn my head away in disgust because I already had seen an overdose of animal cruelty during this 45 minutes show.

I was in total shock to see such cold-hearted behaviour. Don’t get me wrong I don’t approve of certain Western ways either but this was just immoral and all done for the sake of making as much money as you can to serve the country’s elite and the communist party… It totally doesn’t make sense to me, none of it. Well I guess my definition of nurturing myself and preparing a beautiful meal to celebrate tradition or simply to give a gift to myself and/or others is a totally different philosophy than the one showed on BBC4 that evening. Storyville: The Biggest Chinese Restaurant In The World, BBC4 broadcasted on Tuesday, 27 May 2008.

My definition would be something like this:

Last Saturday I had the most delicious flower ever… yes a thistle. Some might not realise that a certain ingredient of Mediterranean cuisine is a flower as well, the bud that is… But my thistles were huge and cheap too, only a pound each. And since it’s all about simplicity I boiled them with some garlic, a bay leaf and two slices of lemon. I made a dip of olive oil, lemon juice, some Dutch herbs, salt, pepper and a tiny bit of Lea & Perrins. I was having a most exciting, delicious and finger-licking lunch that day…

Like Mother Pearl…

He loves me… he loves me not…

No More

I’ve been a bit out of balance lately but I guess that’s just a nice way of saying that I’ve been slightly pissed off with some people, some situations and some attitudes. I had to think deep the moment I realised that I was angry because I know I’m normally not like this and I’m certainly not just angry for no reason. I’m normally relaxed and willing to help whenever help is needed.

So I’ve been thinking and I realised that over the last few days, I had a crazy amount of emails coming in all from people who needed my help in some way. Normally I wouldn’t have had a problem with it but this time it pissed me off and I wanted them to stop bothering me. I started to look for the cause of my anger and realised that what it came down to is showing respect.

I don’t know how many posts I’ve written about the use of bcc/cc and how much I hate it if my info is spread across the world without giving it thought or without my consent: it’s a privacy matter! I wish for people to respect this. I was forced to delete that email account, having to notify all clients, change contacts and online settings, all because of people not being careful.

I’m disappointed that I put my trust in people, help them by doing them favours and not being treated with respect in return. Some simply seem to ignore that I am busy too: sorting out my life and trying to get things back together for me, myself… I need my precious time to work on freelance projects but also to find a way to solve my issues so I can finally have my life back.

And how much I yearn for this to happen and how hard I work for this to make it happen. So I’ve decided that from now on, I’ll stop being the nice person because no matter what I do, it seems that it’s never enough and there’s always the next favour. I’m gonna say no to people, because I’m tired of being nice. I should be nice to myself instead and do myself a favour…

Lately I’ve had severe problems with my wrist, fingers, arm and shoulder: the RSI is back and letting me know that it doesn’t agree with my ‘being nice’ attitude. My body is telling me to stay away from the computer thus those people… and you know what? I’m gonna work on my own things from now on: those things that should have priority above all else, always, at all times.

So when I’m in pain at night and I can’t sleep because of the RSI acting up then I will at least know that my pain is my own and not caused by the fact that I didn’t set my boundaries to protect myself. I’m responsible for creating respect and dignity and to communicating to other’s that I have worth. So from now on: no more Ms Nice Gal… I’m done, finished, thru…

© No more Ms Nice Gal…